Just How Many Women Are Naked On The Internet? A Back-Of-The-Envelope Calculation

Oh, hello! And welcome to the now-weekly LIVE edition of the Deadspin Funbag. We'll do this every Thursday right around 1 p.m. and go until 3pm. To submit a question to the live Funbag, you gotta post down in the bowels of the discussion section below. It is there, and only there, where your questions about grandparents 69ing and murderous paralympians will be answered.

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Mark:

I follow several naked women posters on Twitter like ‘iLikeGirlsDaily' and the like and I am amazed at the number of unique women that have naked pictures of themselves on-line. What's the over/under on the number of American women with at least a bare breast shot of themselves out there? Consider that there are probably 90 – 100 million adult women in the U.S., I'm going with around 800,000.

It really is remarkable how many of them are out there. If you're a single man, this is obviously a thrilling development. OH MY GOD, SO MANY WOMEN. But if you're a father, this is obviously the most horrifying thing ever. OH MY GOD, SO MANY WOMEN.

Drew Magary writes for Deadspin and Gawker. He's also a correspondent for GQ. Follow him on Twitter @drewmagary and email him at drew@deadspin.com.

First off, we should acknowledge that there are a great many women who are naked on the Internet who NEVER intended to be naked on the Internet. I'd wager that at least 10 percent of those photos were intended for private audiences (you can go ahead and increase the amount for people who got naked while under the influence of alcohol and/or heavy narcotics). So I don't know if we should count them because I think we're trying to ascertain the number of willing participants. But even if you discount those fine upstanding ladies, the number remains STAGGERING.

A two-year-old leak of porn-star medical records included more than 15,000 people. But that's just in California, and that only accounts for paid sexual performers in one state. The number of amateur performers almost certainly dwarfs that number. And then we have to account for magazine centerfolds, legitimate actresses in nude roles, the thriving market in illegal Czech and Russian immigrants who are sent here in shipping containers specifically to star in Brazzers videos for your merriment. Even if the number of women who are naked online (and I count thong shots in this guesstimate, because thong shots) is a small percentage of the overall American population, you're still talking about potentially tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people. I say it's lower than 800,000 here in America alone. Maybe 400,000. But still, that's terrifying. YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY KID.

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