"I Chase Him, I Bite Him, Bad Man, He Tasty": Police Dog Writes Witness StatementS

Prosecutors in England, prepping for a case, repeatedly contacted a police department for details on the arrest—specifically, they demanded a witness statement from "PD Peach," an officer who assisted. The problem is, PD stands for Police Dog, and Peach is an adorable German Shepherd, and as such is incapable of reading or writing.

After prosecutors wouldn't stop asking for the witness statement, Peach's handler gave it to them: this document, filled out and "signed" by Peach (age 4). It's poetry.

The statement was posted on a bulletin board at the police station, and a photograph of it quickly spread through social media. And now, because no one can have any fun ever, prosecutors complained and the officer responsible for sharing it is under investigation.

DCI Julian Harper, from West Midlands Police, said: 'The Professional Standards Department is looking into this, early enquiries suggest it is a light-hearted exchange as a result of a misunderstanding around a police dog and a police officer. The matter will be investigated.'

Bad doggy. No treats for you. OK, some treats.

[Daily Mail]