Dead Letters: "Get Off Your Ass Sally And Go Do Some Real Journalism"

Welcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite fan mail from throughout the week. It's like Deleted Scenes, but without all the scuzz money. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Illini valentine poster

From: Jeb
To: Jack Dickey

In your terms, why dont you mind your own "fucking" business and get a real media job. Its assholes like you who foster something out of nothing. Go write about the dirtback fathers fathering cocaine babies and raping and killing underprivledged children in that cesspool you call Chicago. Get off your ass Sally and go do some real journalism.

[Ed. note: Italics Jeb's. It was also in large Comic Sans font. And "'fucking' business" was in red.]

Subject: Pretty unfortunate ad placement, Deadspin.

From: Neil Fennell
To: The Staff

Dead Letters: "Get Off Your Ass Sally And Go Do Some Real Journalism"S

Subject: 8-6-2

From: Zach Emery
To: Jack Dickey

8-6-2 Dickey. 8 - 6 - 2

Your boy Queen Henrik is only one game over .500.

What's wrong with your Rangers Dickey?

Dead Letters: "Get Off Your Ass Sally And Go Do Some Real Journalism"S

Subject: COMMENT

From: dennis villa
To: Drew Magary

IT WAS A WONDERFUL ARTICLE BUT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT BETTER AND PROBABLY READ BY MORE WOMAN IF YOU HAD CLEANED UP YOUR LANGUAGE A BIT.
HAVING KIDS IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT HAVING THAT SEED OF ANIMOSITY PLANTED IN THE BRAIN THAT REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU HAD ABORTED THE KID TO BEGIN WITH. LIFE IS SACRED, BIRTH IS A SACRED RITE, FEEDING A CHILD DURING THE BEGINNING OF HIS/HER LIFE IS A GOD GRANTED PRIVILEGE THAT
BONDS MOTHER AND CHILD TOGETHER. (BONDING IN ANGER AND DEPRESSION ETC. DOESN'T HELP!) I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL, BUT I DO KNOW THAT AT THIS POINT IN BABE'S LIFE BABE NEEDS TO BOND IN A VERY PERSONAL AND LOVING WAY.,.. AND THIS IS IT! YOU MADE IT SEEM SO VULGER... D~

Subject: Drew

From: Jeremy Stancliff
To: Drew Magary

You are the fattest racist fuck. Ought to email the NAACP about you.

Subject: Redskins

From: Patrick Morris
To: Drew Magary

If any whites should stop getting offended about Indian names. If the Indians are offended, then let them voice their objection. Indians have a lot higher tolerance about this than bleeding-heart liberals who object to everything. In fact, one could argue that by keeping their names and heritage out there, it is good for them. But anyway, that's an issue for them, not others.

BTW, our local school is the "Warriors" and the girls' teams are the "Lady Warriors" and no one objects to Warriors. This is our school seal.

Dead Letters: "Get Off Your Ass Sally And Go Do Some Real Journalism"

If anyone was going to object to something like this, it would be here because our local high school in on an Indian Rez.

http://www.salamancany.org/salamancany

The community likes the Warriors name.

The best local school teams: The Hillbillies!

Subject: English for decent people

From: Rolf Pinckert
To: Drew Magary

Dear Sir, please take an English course and learn a larger vocabulary and you will be able to describe and write without the dreaded seven words that George Carlin brought to our attention back in the ‘60's.

Thank you,
Mrs. Pinckert and the Pinckert family

Subject: Kidd-Gilchrist/Monroe dunk

From: Lance Collins
To: Barry Petchesky

While reading your description, I was becomming giddy thinking about how awesome the dunk would be. I watched it and thought, "that was it?" Nice dunk and all, but you oversold it so hard that I was seriously disappointed.

Dead Letters