Stone-Cold Kobe Bryant: "Only Thing I Fear Is Bees"

Kobe Bryant dished out 12 assists and scored 41 (including the game-tying three at the end of regulation) in a comeback, overtime victory against the Raptors last night—another entry in what has been, despite his team's well-documented struggles, a remarkable individual season. During the postgame, Bryant offered reporters a steely assessment of his grace under pressure:

The key to defending Kobe? A constant, low buzzing noise.

Bryant, who's given us more quotables in the last month than most players do in their entire careers, was candid about more than just bees:

He also recently dubbed himself "Vino," because he improves with age and as "a tribute to his upbringing in Italy." Thus:

Naturally, after a tired Bryant finished performing his usual song and dance for the press, he went home, soaked in an ice tub, and considered the almost unbearable pressure of...wait, no. More puns:


The most likable new personality to emerge from the 2012-2013 NBA season is that of a 34-year old who spent much of his career developing a reputation as a taciturn asshole. Nothing makes sense anymore.