Magic Mike XXL Wants To Be A Feminist Fantasy, And Almost Succeeds

I was fully prepared for the bulges, for the leather thongs that wagged and bounced with every pelvic thrust from one of Magic Mike XXL’s stripper superheroes. I was ready for the more impromptu gyrations, too, like when Mike uses his rippling arms to drill nails into a workshop table, or BDR (that’s Big Dick Richie… » 7/01/15 3:12pm 10 minutes ago

Laundry School: Getting To Know Your Machines

I’m totally overwhelmed, in the best way possible, by the response to last week’s Laundry School column. I mean, I figured it would be a good thing to do and that you would certainly have questions; I just didn’t expect anywhere near the number of comments, emails, and tweets I got! Holy cow! You really and truly are… » 7/01/15 2:40pm 42 minutes ago

Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe

Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless on the grass as… » 7/01/15 2:29pm 54 minutes ago

Today's Best Deals: Smart Locks, Phone Lenses, Power Outlets, and More

Here are the best of today’s deals. Get every great deal every day on Kinja Deals, follow us on Facebook and Twitter to never miss a deal, join us on Kinja Gear to read about great products, and on Kinja Co-Op to help us find the best. » 7/01/15 1:15pm Today 1:15pm

How To Set Off Fireworks Without Blowing Yourself Up 

Cue up the John Philip Sousa, fire up the grill, and put the American flag on every surface. It’s almost the Fourth of July, so you may be feeling a lot of strong impulses, like the one to set off a bunch of explosives in your own backyard. Go forth, but don’t send yourself to the hospital. That wouldn’t be a good way… » 7/01/15 1:11pm Today 1:11pm

How The USWNT Finally Figured It Out

After toiling in mediocrity for the whole tournament, with players playing out of position, no organizational structure, and no defined individual roles, the USWNT finally came out last night looking like the World Cup favorites we all thought they’d be. Because of that, we’re left with one question: the hell took so… » 7/01/15 12:59pm Today 12:59pm

Jim Harbaugh, Colin Cowherd Combine For A Disastrous Interview

Jim Harbaugh called into drive-time ratfuck Colin Cowherd’s radio show this morning for an interview, and it was spectacularly awful. Cowherd was throwing every possible question at the Michigan football coach, and Harbaugh couldn’t generate any semblance of dialogue. Cowherd ended up cutting the interview short,… » 7/01/15 12:43pm Today 12:43pm

The Prison Break's Lovelorn Tabloid Villain Is No Mere "Shaw-Skank"

Sometime on the night of June 5, two convicted murderers popped out of a sewer near Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York and started running. It took three weeks to stop them; the aftermath left one dead, and the other shot and recaptured. Two prison workers who aided that stunning escape might very well… » 7/01/15 11:05am Today 11:05am

Maybe Creed Can Help Everyone Forget About Rocky Balboa

Rocky Balboa, the sixth of the Rocky movies, may have been financially successful and critically acceptable, but man, it felt really dated with a 60-year-old Sylvester Stallone shuffling around with Antonio Tarver. Creed is clearly intent on extending the franchise with a new, young boxing protagonist, and seeing how… » 7/01/15 10:44am Today 10:44am