Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to albertburneko@gmail.com. All of them.

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Donald Sterling All But Says Clippers Players Got Vinny Del Negro Fired

T.J. Simers's ability to antagonize pretty much everyone he covers is legendary. So it's twistedly fitting that he's the only L.A. writer to directly call up Donald Sterling, and get the worst owner in sports to be brutally honest about why Vinny Del Negro had to go.

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Lynn Hoppes, Who Was The Worst, Is Out At ESPN

ESPN's Dancing with the Stars correspondent Lynn Hoppes—a man who drooled over swag, recruited a scam artist, plagiarized Wikipedia, and stole my girlfriend—has been laid off, three sources have confirmed. ESPN is also shutting down Playbook, Hoppes's home for the past year. An ESPN spokesman declined to comment.

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London Soldier Hacked To Death By Machete-Wielding Terrorists

A horrifying daytime attack by local terrorists armed with meat cleavers has left a U.K. soldier dead in the street in southeast London. The crazed killers shouted "Allahu Akbar" after completing their grisly crime and then demanded stunned passers-by take video.

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Dipshit TMZ Photographer Is Not Worthy Of JaVale McGee's Time

What kind of dweeb finds himself in the presence of one of the most entertaining and personable players in the NBA, and then proceeds to waste everyone's time by bombarding that player with a series of idiotic questions and riddles? The kind of dweeb who works for TMZ.

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Michael Crabtree Tore His Achilles, Could Miss The Season

Per USA Today's Mike Garafolo, 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree tore his Achilles during organized team activities yesterday. A source also told Garafolo that Crabtree will soon have surgery, and that the injury could be serious enough to keep Crabtree from playing this season.

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