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America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid

Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. And then he did:

Border Patrol Agent Caught Watching Porn at Work, Blames Internet Filter For Not Stopping Him

Working for the US Department of Homeland Security can be stressful. But no matter how difficult your job is, looking at porn is usually frowned upon during work hours. So when a US border patrol agent was recently busted for watching porn at work, he got into trouble. But he had an interesting defense. He said at…

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