Peanut Guy Is An Accurate, Concession-Throwing Machine

Look, being the Peanut Guy isn't that sweet of a gig. You're employed by Aramark, you're at a baseball game but don't get to watch any of it, you have to work like 10 straight nights on a home stand, you're always dropping your hard earned cash on lozenges for your sore throat, and you rarely get a chance to really… » 10/24/14 12:36am Today 12:36am

TV Anchor Warns New Yorkers To Not Eat Maybe Ebola-Infected Poop

Bad news, y'all: Ebola is in New York. You may think you're screwed. You may think this is the only logical conclusion to Obama's America. You may even be right. Luckily, NY1's Errol Louis knows how to fight this plague: If you're prone to putting random feces in your mouth, don't do that for a while. Wait for all of… » 10/23/14 11:30pm Yesterday 11:30pm

Notre Dame WR Takes Cute Selfie In Bed With Porn Star Lisa Ann

Here's a photo a tipster sent us of two people seemingly enjoying each other's company in bed together. One of them is Justin Brent, a freshman wide receiver for Notre Dame. The other is Lisa Ann, a decorated porn star most well-known for her role as Serra Paylin in Who's Nailin' Paylin? Last night they were spotted » 10/23/14 11:23pm Yesterday 11:23pm

Junior Hockey Coach Yells "Fuck You!" At Reporter After Big Loss

The Ontario Hockey League's Sudbury Wolves got blown out 7–2 by the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds Wednesday night, and afterwards tensions were running high. Wolves head coach Paul Fixter didn't appreciate a reporter raising his voice—after yelling "what's the question?!" at said reporter—and let him know about it. A… » 10/23/14 8:10pm Yesterday 8:10pm

Police: Broncos Safety Punched Cab Driver, Tried To Hide In Mulch

John Boyett, a former Colts safety who was arrested in Sept. 2013 while yelling, "You can't arrest me, I'm a Colts player," was arrested Wednesday in a Denver suburb after the Broncos practice squad player's outing at a bar ended with him allegedly trying to hide from police by covering himself in mulch. » 10/23/14 6:30pm Yesterday 6:30pm

Watch These Non-Ohioans Try To Eat Gross-Ass Cincinnati Chili

Here's twelve non-Ohioans (West-Coasters, specifically) trying to choke down some signature Ohio foods. There's a pretty broad selection of foods, here—Glier's goetta and so forth—but the centerpiece is the Skyline 3-way; they start eating it around 2:10 in the video. Spoiler alert: They think it's gross! » 10/23/14 5:54pm Yesterday 5:54pm

HS Football Team's Season Cancelled After Reports Of Waterboarding

The Central Bucks West High School football team in Doylestown, Penn., has had the last two games of its season cancelled after an internal investigation revealed that members of the team had engaged in "improper conduct." According to police, several of the football players participated in hazing rituals that… » 10/23/14 5:16pm Yesterday 5:16pm

Branden Oliver Is San Diego's New, Improved Darren Sproles

The Chargers looked stacked at running back before the season started. Ryan Mathews would lead, Danny Woodhead would find some carries and work as a frequent pass-catcher, and Donald Brown would do... something—So nice to have you, Donald! By Week 5, Mathews, Woodhead, and Brown were sidelined by injury. That's fine,… » 10/23/14 4:57pm Yesterday 4:57pm

This Ridiculous Érik Lamela Goal Will Make You Feel Things

OK. Forget the stakes for a second. Forget that these are two bored teams playing in a second-tier tournament. Forget that Érik Lamela has gone his whole career without developing anything resembling a right foot, and still probably makes more money in a week than you do in a year. Is this the sexiest Rabona goal… » 10/23/14 4:14pm Yesterday 4:14pm

The Hater’s Guide To Your Local Halloween Store

Every year, when October rolls around, some enterprising fellow in my area rents out an abandoned Dollar Tree and turns it into a pop-up Halloween Megastore, resplendent with costumes and decorations and fitting rooms that almost certainly now house the Ebola virus. Almost everything in these stores costs $30 or… » 10/23/14 3:04pm Yesterday 3:04pm

Kevin Kolb Is Still Messed Up From Concussions

Former NFL quarterback Kevin Kolb gives The MMQB an as-told-to today, and it's weird to think of him as a "former" anything already. But a series of concussions ended his career and righteously fucked with his body and his brain, and it sounds like a good thing he called it quits when he did. » 10/23/14 2:54pm Yesterday 2:54pm

The Best Rechargeable Batteries

Unsurprisingly, Eneloops dominated the best rechargeable battery voting, taking almost 80% of the vote as of this writing. The Eneloop line has an incredible reputation, and garnered huge numbers of positive anecdotes from our readers. In addition to the winning AAs, Eneloop offers AAAs, chargers, and C and D spacers. » 10/23/14 2:45pm Yesterday 2:45pm