California's Endless Drought Cruelly Menaces Innocent Sushi Prices

Well, you finally did it, humans. You finally fucked up the ecosystem enough to imperil something that matters. No, not the millions of innocent human beings whose access to potable water is threatened by what appears more and more to be the end of rain- and snowfall in California. No. The sushi, dammit. The price of… » 9/17/14 11:49am 14 minutes ago

NFL And NFLPA Agree To New PED Policy; Wes Welker And Others Reinstated

The NFL and the player's association have finally agreed on a new performance-enhancing drug testing policy. Under the new guidelines, HGH testing will be immediately implemented, and a few players who were suspended under the old policy will be free to rejoin their teams and play this Sunday. » 9/17/14 11:42am 21 minutes ago

Ray Rice Appeal Won't Be Heard By Roger Goodell

Late last night, the NFLPA officially filed a grievance on behalf of Ray Rice, appealing the indefinite suspension he received hours after tape of him punching out his fiancée was made public—and months after the NFL had decided a two-game suspension was appropriate. It sounds like that disciplinary dissonance is… » 9/17/14 11:03am Today 11:03am

No One In The NFL Can Do Anything Right

Adrian Peterson became toxic. Radisson and Catholic Charities jumped ship, he got dropped by sponsors Castrol and Mylan, got memory-holed by Wheaties, had his gear taken off the shelves at local Nike and Fan HQ stores, even got axed by the Special Olympics, to which he was appointed an "ambassador" just last week. The… » 9/17/14 9:24am Today 9:24am

Rejoice: Hallucinating, Cop-Punching Laxbro Lands New College Team

Last year, Charley Gargano had a bad trip. The former Marquette lacrosse player dropped acid, wandered around in his boxers and socks, and proceeded to punch a lady-cop in the face before being pepper-sprayed, arrested, and charged with a felony and assorted misdemeanors. » 9/17/14 9:12am Today 9:12am

Philly Hate Crime Suspects Tracked Down by Anonymous Twitter Hero

The suspects in a violent gang assault on two gay men in Philadelphia have apparently been located by an anonymous Twitter sleuth from Jersey. The victims, who haven't been publicly identified, were walking in Center City around 10:45 p.m. on September 11 when they came face-to-face with a large, clean-cut-looking… » 9/17/14 12:00am Today 12:00am

Why Do People Hit Their Kids?

There's an old episode of What's Happening!! where Roger fucks up, and his mom decides to beat his ass (this is actually the plot of every episode of What's Happening!!). So his mom asks Rerun for his belt, only Rerun is 300-plus pounds, so when he takes out his belt, it's like eight feet long. And Roger's mom… » 9/16/14 11:04am Yesterday 11:04am