What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

It is time for a Deadspin holiday tradition like no other: our annual trawl of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits to discover the strangest, unlikeliest, and most awkwardly shaped objects America inappropriately shoved into its various holes. God bless us, everyone. » 12/25/14 10:19am 30 minutes ago

75-Yard Miracle Play Ruined By Failed Two-Point Conversion

This is perhaps the greatest college football play any of us have ever seen, and it was all for naught as Central Michigan went for two, and a 36-point comeback, and failed. CMU was down 49-14 at one point, and this play left the final 49-48—again, because they went for the win and didn't get it. » 12/24/14 3:47pm Yesterday 3:47pm

Jason Whitlock Blows A Dog Whistle To America's Most Dangerous Racists

Jason Whitlock is many things, all of which have been commented on extensively on this site. But I'm not here to revisit old grievances. I don't even really have much of a grievance. I follow Whitlock on Twitter. He's entertaining, if not consistently insightful, and innocuous enough for the most part. I say "for the… » 12/24/14 2:20pm Yesterday 2:20pm

What We Know About The Confusing Saga Of Brennan Clay And "Spray Tan"

The love triangle—or possible misunderstanding—involving NFL free-agent running back Brennan Clay, his wife Gina D'Agostini, and Cowboys halfback DeMarco "Spray Tan" Murray has played out slowly since the end of November, offering enough twists and turns to confuse even those who know the involved parties personally.… » 12/24/14 12:35pm Yesterday 12:35pm

P.K. Subban Goes Undercover As Karl The Security Guard To Surprise Kids

Take five minutes to watch this video of a disguised P.K. Subban surprising some local kids with Habs gear, a day on the ice at the Canadiens' practice rink, and, eventually, himself. If you must, skip to 3:20 for the big reveal—and his refusal to go easy on the young skaters. » 12/24/14 12:03pm Yesterday 12:03pm

Grierson & Leitch's 2014 In Review: The Best Forgotten Performances

Yes, most people have already written their Top 10 movie lists for 2014. We're saving ours for the last week of the year, but while we wait for this full, rich, and weird movie year to end, we're going to start looking back at certain highlights. Today, it's our favorite forgotten performances. Tomorrow: the year's… » 12/24/14 11:44am Yesterday 11:44am

A Perfectly Festive Barrel-Aged Sour Ale

Christmas is a weird time for a boozer. I realize everyone's circumstances are different—profoundly different if you have kids of an age that requires them to be catered to in a Santa-type fashion—but even if you are religiously or culturally uninterested in the actual holiday, you probably have a day or two off work… » 12/24/14 10:21am Yesterday 10:21am

How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?

The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busquets? lol—this whole… » 12/24/14 9:16am Yesterday 9:16am

How the U.S. Military Turned Santa Claus Into a Cold War Icon

You've probably heard the story by now: On Christmas Eve 1955, a young boy in Colorado Springs dialed a Sears-sponsored hotline that let kids talk with Santa Claus. But instead of reaching Santa, he was connected to the red phone at CONAD, the military command center charged with patrolling the skies for any nuclear… » 12/24/14 9:15am Yesterday 9:15am

Get 20% Off BACtrack's Bluetooth Vio Breathalyzer (Deadspin Exclusive)

Breathalyzers... they're one of the few devices that's both lots of fun and totally practical. BACtrack makes some of the best. Now, Deadspin readers can get an exclusive discount on BACtrack's bluetooth enabled Vio (great for the holidays). Use the code "viospin" for an extra discount, taking the price down to $39.99. » 12/23/14 1:10pm Tuesday 1:10pm

Get 45% Off The 10ft Apple-Certified MFi Lightning Cable 

We've organized a special discount for Deadspin readers on this epic lightning cable. How can a lightning/usb cable be epic? When it's 10 feet long, that's how. Now, you can easily charge your iPhone from across the room. Deadspin readers can get one with free shipping for 45% off. » 12/22/14 1:39pm Monday 1:39pm