Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved

The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the Land, including the… » 7/24/14 2:55pm 14 minutes ago

The 10 Worst New Yorker #Longreads

The New Yorker, a magazine, has just opened its Internet "archives" (dating back to 2007) as a readers' jubilee in advance of its upcoming move to the world of paywalled journalism, three months hence. So much New Yorker to muck around in! So many words! So many stories! So many stories with so many words in them! » 7/24/14 2:50pm 19 minutes ago

BuzzFeed Editor Caught Lifting Text From Yahoo! Answers

Yahoo! Answers, one of the great artifacts of Internet history, is intently studied at viral news website BuzzFeed, where its trove of half-literate questions (and even less literate answers) has supplied material for at least fifty different posts and listicles. One BuzzFeed editor, however, has streamlined this… » 7/24/14 2:39pm 30 minutes ago

How To Get Paid To Drop Out Of Races: A Professional Pacer Tells All

David Rudisha covered two laps of Icahn Stadium under his own flowing power. And Mo Farah, he sliced through the eight laps of the indoor mile with his own knife-sharp legs. Galen Rupp crushed the 1500, Silas Kiplagat, Nick Willis, they all propelled themselves very quickly around an oval. But they all had help in the… » 7/24/14 1:19pm Today 1:19pm

Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town

Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are closed! What is a… » 7/24/14 12:55pm Today 12:55pm

Deals: Team-Branded Bluetooth Speaker, Home Theater Upgrades

This portable Bluetooth speaker ships with a free Skinit credit to decorate it with the your favorite team, school, painting, pattern, superhero, and more. Oh, and it has great reviews. [Acoustic Research Portable Bluetooth Speaker with One Skinit Credit, $37] » 7/24/14 12:46pm Today 12:46pm

Hockey Players Photobombed By The Queen Of England

Australian field hockey players Jayde Taylor and Brooke Peris are in Glasgow, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games, and earlier today posted a photo with an unexpected guest to Twitter. They knew what they were doing, thus making it not a true photobomb, but we'll allow it. Watch out, ladies! She's got morphine! » 7/24/14 12:32pm Today 12:32pm

Theo Epstein Wonders Why The Cardinals Are Getting Extra Draft Picks

Beginning in 2012, MLB's collective bargaining agreement created the Competitive Balance Lottery, meant to give the scrappy underdogs of baseball a hand up with an extra draft pick to help them turn their franchises' fortunes around. The lottery drawing was yesterday. The third pick belongs to the Cardinals, the… » 7/24/14 12:07pm Today 12:07pm

NFL Network On Ray Rice Suspension: "The Iron Fist Of The NFL"

Nearly every sane sports fan is offended by the leniency of Ray Rice's two-game NFL suspension for domestic abuse, but don't let anyone at NFL Network know that. They described the suspension today as "dealing with the iron fist of the NFL." » 7/24/14 11:10am Today 11:10am