Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Post Super Bowl Crime Blotter Surprisingly Tame

New Orleans mostly behaved itself Sunday evening. Just a stabbing, a sole incidence of celebratory gunfire into a crowd, and a single escaped prisoner that they didn't bother to track down until after the game. More »

Chris Hansen Goes For The Gold

A Polish newspaper mistakenly included among the Olympic mascots Pedobear, 4chan's lovable mascot for pedophilia. Well, some of those figure skaters are pretty young. [Telegraph]

Execution Day For Portsmouth?

In mere hours, Portsmouth FC will go before a London high court and plead for their continued existence. Wins and losses and even relegation don't seem so important anymore. More »

Stop The Presses: Detroit Preferable To Somewhere

Two Shock stars, fresh from signing contract extensions, have made it known they have no intention of joining the team in making the move to Tulsa. Apparently death was not an option. [AP]

Athlete Dong Is The New Celebrity Sex Tape

Before nude photos surfaced, only devoted NBA fans knew who George Hill was. But after — we all know his name. This can only be good for his career, and we will only see more athlete dong in the future. More »

Tecmo Recreates Super Bowl XLIV's Clinching Play

Operation Sports' Mr. NFL provides this recreation of the clinching play in Super Bowl XLIV - Tracy Porter's pick-six interception of Peyton Manning in the fourth quarter - complete with CBS commentary. [Kotaku]

Beer Is The Official Lifegiving Liquid Of Cleveland, And More Stories You Weren't Supposed To See

The Super Bowl is a black hole of news; anything non-football is quickly sucked in, never to escape into the public consciousness. Sometimes that's no accident. Here are three stories that were designed to fly under the radar. More »

I Was There: "... And This Couple Starts Having Sex In The Window Of The Bar"

The bon temps rouler-ed all weekend long in New Orleans, and Dean Franks was there in his bumblebee costume. We're told he's still drunk. Let's pick up his account midstream: More »

Your Blizzard-Proof Biggest Mailbag Ever

Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email me here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering the miso paste test, elevators, zombies, shoveling, and more. More »

Nightmares Never Sleep

The chilling new Air Jordan 2010 commercial shows what it's like to guard Dwayne Wade – a nightmare. But it doesn't stop there. An online Nightmare experience challenges you to master the skills that allow D-Wade to strike fear in opponents on courts everywhere.

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Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans? More »

And Brooklyn Decker's Breasts Shall Lead Us Towards Bikini-Clad Models [NSFW]

Hard as we might wish, Brooklyn Decker's carefully positioned arm will never shift to reveal what lies beneath. But at least it's guiding us towards the motherlode of bikini babe goodness. [Fleshbot] [NSFW]