After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants. (NSFW?)

Now who's to say that the eye-catching Northwest-pointing bulge in partner Marc Ballas' pants is actually an unwieldy erection or a funny camera angle that, you know, gives him the appearance of having an unwieldy erection. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Regardless of how short her shorts are (and his, for that matter) he is a professional dancer, who grinds against people for a living and is presumably skilled at maintaining flaccidity during routines. But he is wearing a headband. Maybe that did it.

Luckily for Johnson, her stalker, Robert O' Ryan, looks as if he'll be going to jail for a very long time. The same cannot be said about that thing poking out of Ballas' pants, which is still on the loose.

(Thanks to Rudy The Reader for the tip.)