I have a lot of questions with this one. Why is the Reds' presumptive closer 100 miles away from Cincinnati, in Grove City, Ohio, going north on the interstate (that is to say, away from Cincy) at 12:40 a.m. on an off-day? Where was he going at 93 mph? Is he defecting from Cincy?

And why was his license already suspended? He's been in the country for a little more than two years. Even awful suburban kids who text while running you over in the A&P parking lot keep their licenses valid longer than that.

[Dayton Daily News]