What to watch as you turn the tables on your would-be mugger by stabbing him to death like the badass you are ...

• College Basketball: Oklahoma vs. Texas (9 pm EST). Tonight, the parts of Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford will be played by AJ Abrams and Blake Griffin. [ESPN]

Uhhhh...jeez. That's about it for sports. Pop in a movie, make some amateur porn, buy Pants Party tickets, or something.