“Roy Jones Jr. will fight a fan in Phoenix!” the promo reel screamed, and that was just the main event to a bizarre card put on by URShow.tv last night in an online-only pay-per-view featuring MMA, pro wrestling, “grappling,” and boxing as called by an in-the-flesh Jim “J.R.” Ross.

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Surreal as the event looked on paper—J.R. deemed it “unconventional”—it proved more so in practice. Not only did a scheduled bout between ancient MMA pioneers Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn somehow devolve into one between notorious can Shannon Ritch (owner of a career 53-79-4 record) and a guy who hadn’t fought since 2007, but Ritch won, with the fight involving a wedgie. Former big-time MMA stars Chael Sonnen and Michael Bisping loosely jostled one another for 15 minutes. Riff Raff performed. Riff Raff got involved in a pro-wrestling match between 41-year-old Rey Mysterio, Jr. and 47-year-old Kurt Angle. Through it all, Ross seemed as confused as the few dozen spectators in attendance must have been—especially when an unannounced MMA undercard between two absolute nobodies appeared midway through the show. (Kudos to Kobe and “Tiny Shorts” for somehow earning their way to a PPV fight announced by J.R. and “Rampage” Jackson.)

All of this was just build-up, though, for the main event. As it turned out, the “fan” that took on the 47-year-old Jones was a mostly-amateur MMA fighter. (The Arizona State Boxing & MMA Commission, which somehow sanctioned everything else in this broadcast, balked at the “random fan” plan.) That 33-year-old Vyron Phillips lasted to the second round was a surprise, but that Jones brutally knocked him out wasn’t.

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How far into the fringe of legitimate combat sport was the URShow event? Sherdog.com, which tracks even the furthest-from-the-mainstream MMA bouts, doesn’t have the results in its database. The PPV mostly appears to have been promotion for URShow’s other programming, which includes a Jenn Sterger-hosted sports show, a personal finance program hosted by former NFL defensive back Phillip Buchanon, and a show where Gary Busey reads bedtime stories to children.