This will probably not come as a shock, but FIFA really, really cares about its brand. Sure, it's fine allying with slavers and shrugging at the deadly work conditions for "employees" in its host nations, and, when evidence of corruption in the World Cup bidding process is found, is more concerned with keeping the specifics out of the hands of the public rather than doing anything abuot it. But as a document leaked in the huge Sony hack shows, it does pay meticulous attention to where its precious logo appears in ads.

Sony, formerly one of FIFA's biggest sponsors, received a copy of the "2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Packaging Design Guidelines." Here's how the pamphlet describes its aims:

Objectives

Packaging displayed at stores is an important distinguishing element for product selection by customers. Indicating that Sony is an Official FIFA Partner on packaging and to link this to other advertising and promotional items strengthens product differentiation and can be a powerful way to appeal to consumers. These design guidelines were created for the effective use of the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil™ assets on product packaging.

Positioning of the Guidelines

These guidelines for the use and placement of the Official Emblem of the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil™ and product designations on product packaging are based on the 'Sony Group Brand Message make.believe Concept and Usage Guideline' and the FIFA Marks usage guidelines.

Without a translation, you can already sense that this is some prime Darren Rovell erotica, but what does it mean in human-speak? The guidelines lay out in excruciating detail how, where, in what colors, in what sizes, etc. FIFA's brand associates (in this case, Sony) are allowed to display the group's World Cup logo.

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It's not messing around. The emblem must be no smaller than 11mm, should be about 25 percent the size of Sony's own packaging logo, and is only allowed to go in a handful of places. The copyright and trademark symbols must be in specific proportions to the World Cup logo. If using the full color emblem, it must be behind either a black or white background, or else have its own white border that is at least 1/8th of the size of the logo itself.

In case any of that is too confusing, they provide some helpful examples of incorrect and correct logo construction:

Oh, also, make sure to describe the affiliations correctly; Sony has the "Official USB Memory of the 2014 FIFA World Cup™" or the "FIFA Official USB Memory," and not the "Official World Cup Memory Stick." Ah, and since FIFA Partner Hyundai has the rights to all car-related designations, Sony's in-car audio products can't be advertised with the word "car."

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Here's the full guidelines for you to read over, to laugh at, and to shed a tear for our brand-conscious modern world: