Deadspin: Albert Pujols

Albert Pujols's Wife Is "Mad At God," The Cubs Are Looking For A First Baseman, And More From The Hot Fucking Stove

Josh Brill — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:20:00 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!! More »

Why Albert Pujols Really Doesn't Care About The Money

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:00:03 EST

Infographics: we have them! Click to enlarge. Turns out that by moving to a state with one of the highest income tax rates in the nation, Albert Pujols has a legitimate claim to not worrying about the extra "$3 or $4 million a year" he's getting from the Angels. Meanwhile, the zero state income tax is the reason every athlete besides Dwight Howard wants to play in Florida. (And why the Heat's Big Three didn't really take much of a pay cut.) [Turbotax] More »

Here's The Newspaper Ad Albert Pujols Took Out To Thank St. Louis Fans

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 15:30:36 EST

It's become almost expected for itinerant athletes to go the newspaper ad route when leaving town, and at this point free agency might be the only thing keeping print media alive. Pujols took out a full-page ad on C10 of today's Post-Dispatch fondly reminiscing on his time in St. Louis, but the typical PR boilerplate rings a little hollow for some. Still, Pujols didn't have to do anything, and Cardinal fans have been remarkably realistic about this whole situation so far, so we don't expect St. Louis to burn to the ground. Yet. [Photo via the Post-Dispatch's Derrick Goold] More »

A Little Pujols Math To Infuriate Cardinals Fans

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 18:50:44 EST

In 2009, Albert Pujols said this: More »

Which Group Of St. Louis Residents Is Bidding Albert Pujols Good Riddance? Classical Music Fans

Timothy Burke — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:20:00 EST

Cardinals fans are reacting strongly to today's news of his departure for Anaheim, leading to surreal images like guards surrounding the statue of him outside his St. Louis restaurant. More »

Report: Albert Pujols To Sign With The Angels

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 10:10:04 EST

Tim Brown of Yahoo appears to have had it first, as you can see above, but Buster Olney's sources are telling him the same thing. Bob Nightengale of USA Today says it's for 10 years and $250 million. Somebody check on Leitch to make sure he's OK. [Yahoo] More »

Ken Rosenthal Throws Himself Against The Wall

Josh Brill — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:40:00 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day. Photo via @joecapMARLINS. This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!! More »

ShortCenter: Someone Will Pay Albert Pujols A Shitload Of Money, Buster Olney Reports From Sad Hotel Lobby

Matt Toder — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:16:21 EST

What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence. More »

Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo

Josh Brill — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:20:50 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!! More »

Checking In With Albert Pujols's Agent, Who Threatened To Sue Us Before He Knew What We Were Going To Write

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:10:59 EST

A week ago we published some not very nice things about superagent Dan Lozano, but not before we were threatened with a lawsuit. Hours before publishing, Lozano's attorney issued itemized denials of a handful of facts we included in our story—and denials of many more that we did not. More »

Fielder and Pujols Could Be Cubs, Jonathan Broxton Makes The Decision, And Other Hot Stove Developments

josh brill — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 18:20:00 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!! More »

Dan Lozano: Albert Pujols's Superagent, "King Of Sleaze Mountain"

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 18:45:00 EST

Somebody's out to get Dan Lozano. The agent for Albert Pujols, Lozano is pursuing what everyone expects to be the biggest contract in baseball, the financial and professional zenith of a career that's been two decades of success. When Lozano, 44, left the Beverly Hills Sports Council last year, he took with him his entire stable of players—including Pujols, Alex Rodriguez, Joey Votto, Michael Young, Brian Wilson, Carlos Beltran, and Jimmy Rollins. Show me an agent with that much pull, and I'll show you 50 others willing to smear him. But here's the thing about professional sports agents: You don't need anything but the truth to smear them. It's a fast-living, hard-partying world, where vice is a virtue, dirty money rules the day, and tactics are only underhanded if the other guy uses them first. More »

Justin Verlander Is MVP, Albert Pujols May Be Older Than We Think, And Other Hot Fucking Stove Developments

josh brill — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 17:55:00 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!! More »

Albert Pujols's Mystery Destination, Dale Sveum's New Gig, And Other Hot Fucking Stove Developments

josh brill — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:25:00 EST

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!! More »

Albert Pujols Spotted At The Airport In St. Louis. But Where Could He Be Going?

josh brill — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 18:40:00 EDT

Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!! More »

This Evening: Albert Pujols Dedicating A Statue Of Albert Pujols At Albert Pujols's Restaurant, Pujols 5 Westport Grill

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:30:00 EDT

Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 2, the day most of those "sexy" studies turned out to be frauds. Photo of Pujols dedicating Pujols statue via Big League Stew. H/T to Mike T, who also suggested the perfect headline. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

The Rangers Should Probably Stop Intentionally Walking Albert Pujols

Jack Dickey — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:15:00 EDT

The Texas Rangers have walked Albert Pujols five times in the first six games of this World Series—all intentionally. Many of these walks are bad ideas! (And not just for the spiritual reasons elucidated of late by Josh Levin and Rob Neyer, among others.) More »

David Freese Is Robert Horry

Lang Whitaker — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:50:10 EDT

The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical. More »

Spotted: Albert Pujols, Yesterday, At Best Buy, In A Sleeveless Shirt, Buying Captain America On DVD

Jack Dickey — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 13:30:25 EDT

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An esteemed sports author noted earlier this year that Albert Pujols wouldn't make a very interesting profile subject. Think again, kids! The Cards' first-baseman-cum-best-hitter-alive is a strange, adorable creature. More »

Albert Pujols Is Taking Hostages

Pete Beatty — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 14:25:38 EDT

Nyjer Morgan Is Trying His Damnedest To Engage Albert Pujols In A Middle School Fight

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:30:00 EDT

Just about a month ago, we heard from the local broadcast crews as they reacted to the last Brewers-Cardinals skirmish (they were predictably biased). Last night, the two teams clashed again, and loveable kite enthusiast Nyjer Morgan was—predictably—at the center of it all. More »

How The Brewers' And Cardinals' Broadcast Crews Reacted To The Ryan Braun Plunking Last Night

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 19:53:03 EDT

The Cardinals plunked the Brewers with a couple clauses of baseball's unwritten rules in an 8-7, extra-inning win last night. After Albert Pujols was hit in the hand by an errant Takashi Saito pitch in the top of the seventh, Cards pitcher Jason Motte twice threw at Ryan Braun, connecting on the second attempt with Braun's back. Predictably, the crews for Fox Sports Midwest (the Cards' broadcaster) and Fox Sports Wisconsin had rather different reactions to Motte's pitch. More »

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb

Brian Hickey — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 09:45:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night

Brian Hickey — Thu, 12 May 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81. More »

Albert Pujols Hugs Jim Hendry: A Photoplay In 10 Parts

Tommy Craggs — Wed, 11 May 2011 12:40:33 EDT

Free agent-to-be Albert Pujols and Cubs GM Jim Hendry hugged yesterday and chatted amiably behind a batting cage. This is now, officially, a Thing. How did it become a Thing? Let's watch: More »

It Took A Self-Proclaimed "Hockey Luvin Homo" To Make A Canucks-Kings Game Noteworthy

Brian Hickey — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 09:05:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 1, the day you are permitted to seek vengeance against anybody who you think has wronged you, with no legal ramifications whatsoever. More »

Welcome To Albertgeddon

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 10:15:00 EST

We're but minutes away from Albert Pujols's self-imposed deadline for signing a contract extension. This means that if the Cardinals don't come back with a whopper of a last-minute offer, it's all but inevitable that he'll sign with the Cubs in the offseason for eight years, $250 million, shatter his kneecap next May, and never be the same player again. No one wants this to happen. More »

Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring

Brian Hickey — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:00:00 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again. More »

St. Louis Wonders Whether Albert Pujols Is Worth 1.3 Million Common Folk

Brian Hickey — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 11:00:00 EST

Be Joe Buck's Sidekick At The Super Bowl

Brian Hickey — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 09:00:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.(PHOTO:) More »

So, What's Mrs. Tom Brady Doing With This Guy Who Isn't Mr. Tom Brady? (With Update!)

Brian Hickey — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 08:30:00 EDT

Tony La Russa Isn't Lying About Being Apolitical. That's The Problem.

Will Leitch — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 14:00:17 EDT

Tony La Russa and I have the same literary agent. This might tell you all you need to know about the state of literature, but nonetheless, it's true. When Are We Winning? was in galleys, my agent sent La Russa a copy. More »

La Russa, Pujols Will Apolitically Attend Glenn Beck's Totally Apolitical Rally

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 11:40:10 EDT

Can we all agree by now that the allegedly thoughtful Tony La Russa, who maybe you've heard is a lawyer and who walks the earth cogitating profoundly on such matters as lineup construction and puppies, is really just an all-around paste-eating dumbass? More »

When Even The Fetus Is Pro-Choice

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 09:15:00 EDT

This Kid Was Promptly Beaten Up By Players From Eight Different Countries

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:30:22 EDT

Japan Wins Eighth Consecutive World Cup Costume Contest

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 06:45:43 EDT

Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry

David Matthews — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:10:00 EDT

During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times] More »

Lucky Augusta Fans Get To Rub Tiger's Balls

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 08:45:51 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Stevie Franchise Attempts To Scratch His Frontal Lobe

A.J. Daulerio — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:20:49 EDT

This is just dag nasty. But at least the Orlando Magic guard has found an activity to keep him occupied while bench-riding. I love the reaction these guys had while watching the horrifying booger excavation take place. More »

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:30:00 EST