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The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilometers — even for those driving the team car, apparently. There are sweeping helicopter shots of the riders as they vibrate in circles along the Champs-Élysées cobblestone. The overall effect is as if a lot of freakishly skinny Spandex enthusiasts decided to throw themselves a parade. More »
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When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favorite Andy Schleck emerged from Stage 19 as the overall time leader. The only thing standing between Schleck and a cruise in yellow down the Champs-Élysées, Champagne flute in hand, was an individual time trial, a no-strategy, man-against-clock burner that happens to be the specialty of the one rider who could catch him. That would be Australian Cadel Evans, a two-time Tour runner-up, who'd clung like a barnacle near the top of the leaderboard. On the eve of the stage, Schleck remained optimistic: "The yellow jersey gives you wings and I hope that is the case tomorrow." Back in Australia, a country that has never produced a Tour de France champion, they cued up a midnight simulcast and started pounding Carltons. More »
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Until yesterday, the 2011 Tour de France had been a bit of a drowsy bore (even Lance Armstrong had admitted as much). Then came yesterday's 18th stage when, like a stag party on Day 3 of a Champagne bender, things lurched inexplicably alive. There was a punishing "stuff of legends" solo attack by gangly Luxembourger Andy Schleck, who may or may not talk to unicorns. There was the full-on disintegration of last year's winner, Alberto Contador. There was the tenacious ride by the uniformly discounted French underdog Tommy Voeckler. The hysteria over today's 19th stage was difficult to suppress: the final mountain stage, featuring the fabled 21 bends of the Alpe d'Huez — the 21 stairs to heaven, as they call it on TV. People in yellow bracelets were calling in late to work. More »
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The carnage at DeathFrance 3000 is not contained to the riders. Today a spectator dressed as a doctor and carrying a blood bag (A reference to his positive drug test at last year's Tour) joined others in running alongside Contador as he tried to make a last-ditch move on the last day in the Alps. Contador took a whack at the guy, and we can't really say we blame him. More »
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There are moments when commentary on even the most marginal events rises to such shrieking hyperbole that we're compelled to see what the fuss is all about. Today, Stage 18 of the Tour de France, was one of those days. Total. Freakout. Perhaps this is not unexpected from veteran Versus cycling announcer Phil Liggett, who gets fluttery when the lads start "dancing on the pedals" in any ol' race, but this was different. From the moment the heavily favored Andy Schleck began a 60-kilometer solo breakaway to finish first atop the fabled Galibier pass — the highest-altitude finish in Tour history — a protracted tantric orgasm shuddered through the cycling universe. Poor Liggett's going to need some Brandy and a Coumadin to settle down from what he called "one of the greatest rides in modern Tour times." But even the professionally nonplused gents on Eurosport (the Versus network's relatively ghetto competitor, but the most reliable free streaming option) were hollering that Stage 18 "will tell you everything you need to know about this sport." More »
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They finally figured it out - men cycling on an open road is boring. But add some obstacles: cars, bikes, barbed wire, random spectators, all out to stop the riders by any means necessary, and we've got ourselves a sport. A living video game. Here's why we've been loving the first week of DeathFrance 3000. More »
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The Tour De France winner's first positive test showed an almost minuscule level of a banned substance, far too small to have been doping. The results of a second test show exactly what he was up to. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Alberto Contador took the yellow jersey from Andy Schleck in today's Pyrenees stage. Noteworthy is the fact that Schleck is pissed that Contador — and the rest of the field — didn't stop and wait for him while he fixed his bike. More »
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Here's a shocker from the cycling world: Team Astana—which featured the first- and third-place finishers at the Tour de France—is now under a doping investigation! I'm starting to think cycling might have a problem with drugs. [AFP/AP] More »
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Tour de France winner Alberto Contador is celebrating his big victory by throwing "teammate" Lance Armstrong under the bus, instead of pushing him under an actual moving bus, which would have made the race infinitely more exciting. More »
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Alberto Contador has won his second Tour de France. Livestrong, Alberto! One person who's thrilled about this news? This precocious, Tour-loving five-year-old. [SI] More »
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Perhaps Lance Armstrong would secretly like his teammate Alberto Contador to be pinned down by this extremely zealous fan, so he can win an eighth race. More »
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Lance Armstrong moved to second place in the Tour de France this weekend, but fell almost two minutes behind his teammate, Alberto Contador. Oh, the indignity of the wingman, fighting for scraps as his "partner" reaps all the glory. More »
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Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP] More »
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Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely. More »
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