Thanks to Jake Peavy, we don't have to worry about this spring coming and going without anyone fulfilling one of baseball's greatest traditions: players hurting themselves in really stupid ways during spring training.
So what did Jake Peavy do to himself? Oh, nothing really, he just nearly cut his finger off with a fishing knife. From ESPN Boston:
"He's going to be 'no-throw' for three days and then initiate a throwing program off the mound," Farrell said. "It's his non-throwing hand, so he can keep his arm in shape, but he's a scratch for tomorrow.
"This was a freak one. And honestly, he avoided some serious injury with what took place. He cut himself with a fishing knife. He was at home when it took place, he was trying to cut through something and when it gave way, almost cut through his left index finger."
Consider the gauntlet thrown, other clumsy baseball players. You've got got a month to top Peavy, so get out there and bring some harm to yourself in the weirdest way possible.