I hope you haven't forgotten about former Redskins tight end Fred Davis's ongoing legal battle with alleged madam Makini Chaka. If you have, please take a moment to refresh your memory.
Today, Davis finally stood trial for allegedly assaulting Chaka with a juice pitcher in a DC night club. Unfortunately, both Davis and Chaka decided against representing themselves as they did during their preliminary hearing, but there was still plenty of silliness.
Stewart Prince, Davis's sometimes bodyguard and the one who originally accused Chaka of being a madam, was asked to testify by the prosecution, but things went downhill during cross examination. From the Washingtonian:
"Do we really want to go there?" Prince responded. "I can get proof."
He then testified that he had seen Chaka procure prostitutes for men "plenty of times."
When asked for specific clients, Prince clammed up. "I’m not name dropping in the courtroom."
The lawyers then had a long discussion at the judge’s bench, before taking a ten-minute recess to determine how to proceed with a witness who was refusing to answer questions under oath. The lawyers eventually decided to strike Prince’s entire testimony from the record.
From this point forward, I hope "I plead the fifth" is replaced with "I'm not name dropping in the courtroom."
Then came time for Davis to testify, at which point he continued to deny he threw a juice pitcher at Chaka despite being provided with video evidence proving otherwise:
"I didn’t throw the bottle—the bottle came out of my hand," he said at one point.
"I released it, I didn’t throw it."
"I didn’t throw it at her. Period."
I don't know, seems like pretty airtight testimony to me. With the day-long trial concluded, the judge must now decide what ruling to hand down. I kind of wish this trial could just go on forever, though.