We've been slogging through the Bitchy Bracket for two weeks now, and at last we've come to our Final Four of thin-skinned, defensive, repulsive fanboys. And what a Final Four it is! We've got a 1-seed, a 2-seed, a rampaging 4-seed peaking at the right time, and we have a Cinderella story in the 8th-seeded Red Sox fans, because of course Red Sox fans would be a scrappy underdog when they really aren't. ANOTHAH TRIUMPH OF SCRAPPITUDE FAHHHH THE FANS OF DEAD LEN BIAS NATION.
Anyway, here are your semifinal matchups:
Red Sox Fans (8) vs. Christian Conservatives (1)
Will your hatred of Boston sports override your possible distaste for half of America's population? I KINDA THINK IT WILL!
Anti-Vax Nuts (2) vs. Beliebers (4)
Before you automatically go reaching for that BELIEBERS button, please consider who you're keeping from the championship…
Autism WAY UP - I believe in vaccinations but not massive, all at once, shots. Too much for small child to handle. Govt. should stop NOW!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 27, 2014
Put some real thought into your vote, because these people don't put any thought into anything. Vote below. Polls close at noon on Monday.