We pride ourselves on vigilance to behind-the-plate fan frivolity, what with jackasses pantomiming blowjobs at Wrigley or dudes outfitting themselves in Marlins gear during non-Marlins postseason games. So when this fan at last night's Angels-Astros game kept standing up to show off his fake dong, we knew it was right up our alley.

The Deadspin staff, though, remains undecided as to the nature of this gentleman's dong. We're leaning toward cigar, though a bit of movement detected in the slow-mo suggests it might be a hot dog. What say you, readers? Both fake dongs belong in your mouth, but is this gentleman's pole one you'd smoke or one you'd swallow?

h/t to @laaabaseball