Screencap via

Brandon Laird is a 28-year-old infielder who scuffled his way to a .197 average in 53 games for three teams in three years of Major League ball. He’s currently plying his craft in Japan for the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters, who are now my favorite NPB team because that name rules (the nickname is, sadly, not a nod to the delicious bounty of sliced pig).

Advertisement

Anyway, Laird is a power hitter now, and he jerked a dong last night against the Orix Buffaloes

It’s not particularly apparent from the zooming around that the camera does, but Laird hit the Kirin Ichiban sign above the left field wall, which triggered a cool-as-hell promo. Per the Japan Times, Laird earned himself a year’s supply of beer as well as a cool $10,000. Because Laird is not you or me, and is in fact a professional athlete who needs to “stay in shape”, he doesn’t have that cool of plans for his newfound suds.

Laird said he’d put the money toward his new house in Arizona, but didn’t yet know what he’d do with the beer supply.

“Definitely not drink it,” he joked. “Maybe give some to the batting practice pitchers or whoever wants it.”

This is a much better promo than rebranding your beer as the very concept of freedom itself.