Deadspin: Buffalo Bills

Shawne Merriman Gave Away Super Bowl Tickets On Twitter, And Nobody Seemed To Care

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 19:50:00 EST

"However, according to the Twitter analytics tool Topsy, only five people even submitted videos to Merrman's Twitter handle. And one wasn't even clearly a Lights Out dance." [Daily Dot] More »

Some Guy Got A Giant Tattoo Of Stevie Johnson's Head On His Arm

Jack Dickey — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 17:25:00 EST

Johnson, the Bills wide receiver who was benched over the weekend, did this not so long ago. He still wound up with 1007 yards on the year. And now he tweeted a photo of the dude's tattoo. Everything about this is so dispiriting I don't know whom I should call classless. [@StevieJohnson13, via SportsGrid] More »

Drayton Florence Saved The Best For Last In Earning NFL Flop Of The Season Honors

Timothy Burke — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 08:30:00 EST

Bills cornerback Drayton Florence has made a career out of his tough-guy image (just ask Mark Sanchez) but the stunt he pulled Sunday against the New England Patriots puts him firmly in Italian soccer star territory. It was less a flop or dive and more of a hurl—a leaping, falling charade of nonsense worthy of being paired with one of the cuddliest twee tracks of the last decade. [CBS] More »

Buffalo Schoolteachers Charged With Humping In The Bathroom At This Weekend's Bills Game

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 13:45:31 EST

Making sex in the bathroom is never the brightest nor most hygienic idea, to say nothing of the typical stall conditions at an NFL stadium used by 70,000 people. That goes for fucking on the floor of the pristine new Cowboys Stadium, and it definitely goes for whatever two grade school teachers were caught doing in the can at the 38-year-old Ralph Wilson Stadium. More »

One Jet Thinks Stevie Johnson's "Airplane" TD Celebration Was A 9/11 Reference

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 10:25:00 EST

You thought Bob Costas was stupid? You clearly didn't know how stupid human beings could get when discussing end zone celebrations. That apotheosis belongs to Jets tackle Sione Pouha, who's convinced that Stevie Johnson was out to mock the death of thousands. More »

Stevie Johnson Beats Revis, Makes Touchdown Catch, Mocks Plax In TD Celebration

Timothy Burke — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:45:08 EST

Stevie Johnson, who one presumes has yet to forget being forsaken by God, trolled the Jets hard after getting clearance from Darrelle Revis to catch a touchdown pass from Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—first pantomiming a Plaxico Burress club self-shooting, then performing the airplane... that crashed. Buffalo & the Jets are tied 14-14 at the half. [CBS] More »

The Miami Dolphins Offense Drops 28 On The Bills In The First Half

Sean Newell — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 14:49:39 EST

This is not a season highlights package. This is a first-half-against-the-bills highlights package. This is noteworthy because the Dolphins have scored over 28 points only once this year. They put up 31 against the Kansas City Chiefs two weeks ago. It looks like that poor kid may have been wrong. More »

Buffalo's David Nelson Scores Touchdown, Gives Ball To Cowboys Cheerleader Girlfriend

Timothy Burke — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 14:13:28 EST

You might have read this week about Kelsi Reich, Cowboys cheerleader and longtime girlfriend of Bills receiver David Nelson. So of course when Nelson caught a touchdown pass in the first half of Buffalo's matchup with Dallas today, he sprinted to the other side of the field in order to give her the ball—something at which he hinted in interviews before the game. [Fox] More »

When Bills WR David Nelson Plays The Cowboys This Afternoon, His Cheerleader Girlfriend Will Be Torn

Sean Newell — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:00:00 EST

Kelsi Reich, pictured above, is a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. A pretty classic looking Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, for that matter. David Nelson is a wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills. You see where this is going. Our generation's Romeo and Juliet, no? More »

The Jets-Bills Game, In One Flinching Sanchez And One Steamrolled Bison

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 10:20:05 EST

Mark Sanchez is not a wide receiver. He is a quarterback, a celebrity, a franchise, a patron of the arts, a deviant, and a pitchman, but he's not a wide receiver. So when he lined up wide in the wildcat (and as for why the Jets were running the wildcat up 16 with three minutes left, your guess is as good as mine), Drayton Florence took the opportunity to put the fear of god in a man without blockers for once in his life. More »

At 2:16 This Afternoon, John Beck Got Sacked Again

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:05:00 EDT

That's when the NFL sent out their weekly stat corrections, upping the number of times the Bills brought down Beck to 10. Nick Barnett and Danny Batten share credit. More »

20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 13:00:00 EDT

Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspaper's demure asterisks and restored the naughty words): More »

Growing Up On NFL Violence In A Violent Neighborhood

Ta-Nehisi Coates — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 10:55:56 EDT

We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries. More »

Marvin Lewis Guarantees A Victory Over The Bills This Week, Because Why The Hell Not?

Jack Dickey — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 18:40:00 EDT

From the Bengals' head coach's press conference earlier today: More »

Did Buffalo Outsmart Bill Belichick?

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 17:22:25 EDT

The Bills Grabbed A Lot More Than A Victory Yesterday Against The Patriots

Dom Cosentino — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 10:10:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for Sept. 26, the day we heard Stephen King read a sequel to The Shining. H/T to Braden for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

That Astonishing Raiders-Bills Game Had Its Heidi Moment

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 11:40:59 EDT

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Raise your hand if you thought Oakland and Buffalo would put on the most entertaining game of the week, and then put your hand down, you liar. But parity, and unpredictability, and any given Sunday and all that, and there it was: a high-scoring, relatively clean thriller with two teams looking to stay undefeated. An unexpected bonus for football fans, it came down to the final seconds. Unfortunately for some, it came down to the final seconds. More »

Young Kansas City Fan Just Seems To Get What Coach Haley's All About

Brian Hickey — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 17:06:00 EDT

Buffalo Bills 41, Kansas City Chiefs 7. Bro. More »

Where Did Ryan Fitzpatrick Go To College, Again?

Jack Dickey — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 16:10:00 EDT

From Peter Richmond at Grantland: More »

Mike Vick Says Roger Goodell Didn't Make Him Go To Philly, But...

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 18:00:00 EDT

So Michael Vick tells Emeritus for GQ that nobody cares about dog-fighting except the media, that white people don't understand where he came from, and that the NFL encouraged him to go play for the Eagles when he pretty much preferred the Bengals or the Bills. Vick, as if on cue, has since clarified what he said to say he didn't exactly mean what he said: More »

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk

Brian Hickey — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 10:15:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Marv Levy Says His Novel About A Bunch Of Rigged Super Bowls Is Totally Fictional, OK?

Jack Dickey — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 19:30:00 EDT

Former Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy has written a forthcoming novel, presumably to ride the sinusoidal arc of American letters back upward. More »

The NFL Lockout's Almost Over, So Here's Stevie Johnson's Big Ass Birthday Cake

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 14:10:00 EDT

[via Flopping Out] More »

Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 17:10:59 EDT

Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse. More »

Madden Gets in Trouble for Outing a Team's New Uniform

Owen Good — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 20:30:00 EDT

EA Sports uploaded - then quickly yanked - a YouTube video teasing Madden NFL 12 Madden junkies love to pick these things apart for clues about this year's new features. In so doing, they also found the Buffalo Bills' new… [Kotaku] More »

HOLY SHIT BUFFALO BILLS VEAL CHOP

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 17:45:00 EDT

Kind of. [via] More »

Shawne Merriman Has Accurately Scouted The Bills

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 16:00:00 EST

Merriman, on a 4-12 Buffalo team: "They're probably 4 or 5 games away from being a 9-7 or a 10-6 team easily." [SRI] More »

Searching For...Peerless Price

A.J. Daulerio — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 12:30:00 EST

An attorney by the name of W. Anthony Collins has called on the I-Team to help locate the former Vols/Bills/Falcons/Seahawks/Cowboys wide receiver. He's vanished, you see. More »

Steve Johnson's Dropped Pass Has Caused Him To Seriously Rethink His Devotion To A Higher Power

A.J. Daulerio — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 23:10:00 EST

The usually sure-handed wide out comes to the realization that, no matter how hard he prays, there are powerful forces working against the Buffalo Bills. Nobody circles the wagons like Almighty God. [Twitter] More »

Vernon Davis And Aaron Maybin Enjoy Stripper-Laced Vacation

David Matthews — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:45:00 EDT

In the past, NFL players had the luxury of a slower news cycle and no threat of grainy cellphone pictures—Joe Namath and Dan Fouts could attend a key party in peace, damnit. Those days are long, long gone. More »

Bills Entice Potential Ticket Buyers With "Punt From Own End Zone" Shining Moment

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:30:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Marshawn Lynch Is All About The Jacksons

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 10:45:00 EST

We thought quiet little Buffalo would be good for the troubled Lynch. We thought wrong, as the RB couldn't avoid the criminal breeding grounds of the T.G.I. Friday's at the mall, where he's accused of stealing $20 from a woman. More »

Chin Blossoms: Buffalonians Begin The Cowher Chase In Earnest

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 13:20:09 EST

Raiders, Bengals and Bears fans have all purchased billboards calling for their teams to clean house in the front office. But those are angry, angry cities. The salt-of-the-earth folk in Upstate New York prefer more constructive advice on their roadsides. More »

Still Looking For Old Saint Dick

A.J. Daulerio — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:15:58 EST

It's never good to let a coach's unfortunate firing ruin a joyful time of the year — and a perfectly good Christmas card. Remember when Dick Jauron was tactfully "removed" from the Bills' team photo? The team made lemonade. More »

Looking For Dick

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:30:23 EST

This is what it means to be a Bills fan: You spend your December days hunched over a team photo like some Bletchley Park code cracker, looking for proof that your recently shitcanned coach has been photoshopped into oblivion. More »

Blame Canada, Says The Times

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 00:30:00 EST

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The strong Canadian dollar is buoying Canadian NHL teams at the expense of American ones, while the Bills' "home game" in Toronto is decimating Buffalo businesses. It's time we use rendition to get Chris Bosh. [NY Times / NY Times] More »

Who Had Dick Jauron In Their Pool?

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:15:11 EST

Now that guy got canned! The Bills owner said he fired his head coach today, because "nothing ever seemed to go right." That is very perceptive, Ralph. [Buffalo News] More »

Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 12:10:25 EST

Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them. More »

Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:30:00 EDT

A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border. More »

Leodis McKelvin Forgives Teens For Unauthorized Yard Work

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Bills kick returner Leodis McKelvin will not press charges against the two teenagers who defaced his lawn after his back-breaking fumble against the Patriots. He actually had the vandalism charges in hand, but then he dropped them. [ ESPN] More »