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"A Cuyahoga County sheriff's deputy was charged today with menacing and public indecency stemming from two summer incidents in the Cleveland Metroparks' Rocky River Reservation. Paul Lawrence, 32, is accused of masturbating in his car on June 12 and following two women on Aug. 29, a day he had called in sick." [Plain Dealer] More »
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This image is brought to you by tipster Kent D. Here's what he had to say about "Wolfie": More »
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Originally published May 25, 2006 More »
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Only in Cleveland would this heartbreaking video of notable Clevelanders sing-pleading for LeBron to stay surface the day after a devastating loss. We shamefully present this inadvertent elegy to BronBron. [Break] More »
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For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity. More »
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New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints. More »
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Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused. More »
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Former sprint champion Mark Walcott was cleared on Thursday of charges that he exposed himself five times at two old folks homes in Britain, but at what cost? During the trial it was revealed that Walcott was having affairs with two women at the same time, both of whom were hauled into court to provide him with alibis. Also entered into evidence is a late contender for Deadspin Quote of the Year. More »
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This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B was on backwards, did some investigating, and found out she was making the whole thing up as some kind of race-baiting swift boat attack. That, or she was just nuts. More »
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Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy their need for public groping. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5068566&view=rss&microfeed=true Anyone who just came across this site in the last two years might know about the genius that is Carl Monday. With our last week upon us, we felt it was the least we could do to reintroduce you all. More »
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You know, it's really annoying when athletes-masturbating-in-libraries stories break in the evening and we have to wait until morning to write about them. If we can't be your leader in library masturbation coverage, we're not sure what our point is. More »
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It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anything better to do. More »
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Guess who's back, folks ... GUESS WHO'S BACK?! More »
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When we stumbled across the infamous Carl Monday / Mike Cooper / library masturbation story more than a year ago, we were stunned when we learned that the Deadspin Hall of Famer had, in fact, won several Emmys. Could this be right? Was the library story just a rare misstep in a career of legitimate muckraking journalism? More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=273676&view=rss&microfeed=true Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder what that could have been? What psychologically tumultuous event from his distant memory served to push him toward investigative reporting in a trenchcoat? Hmmm. More »
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Technically speaking, our old pal Carl Monday is contractually obliged to stay off the air until October after switching stations in Cleveland. But there is corruption to be uncovered, and evildoers to be apprehended! And he's not about to let a silly non-compete clause stand in the way of finding the TRUTH! More »
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A few months ago, we told how our old friend Carl Monday was taking on a new gig with a new station. Well, he's fortifying for his investigations; he's hiring an assistant, and that assistant could be you. More »
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As we close the book on Super Bowl XLI and look forward to the future, we think it's important to remember where we came from, who shaped us and made us who we are today. We're talking of course about the great Carl Monday, who announced over the weekend that he's jumping ship and heading to a new Cleveland television station. But that's not all: He's earning a new lease on life, too, and he's gonna Change His Ways. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=233970&view=rss&microfeed=true And here we are, the matchup we are personally most curious about, the one featuring the infamous Carl Monday and good ole Barbaro, who would be a late charger if only his hoof would grow. We have been looking forward to this one since this got started. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=223562&view=rss&microfeed=true All right: Time for the next step in the Elite Eight. This thing is gonna fly by now, by the way; the final two Elite Eight matchups will be next week, and then it's Final Four time, and then, jeez, then this whole virtual construction is completed. To remind you, here's the bracket (Berman's got a considerable lead over Leinart, but there's still time to vote.) More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=220093&view=rss&microfeed=true We're off to the next first-round matchup, and this one seems likely to be more of a blowout than the potential upset brewing in the Roethlisberger-Mikulik matchup. (Polls are open, by the way, until all first round matchups are completed.) More »
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This is for all of you Halloween revelers who are planning on being clever tomorrow night and dress up like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. And you know who you are. We see you with the Paul Hogan hat and the toy sting ray and the too-tight khaki shorts, and we're begging you to stop. My God, many of you even have toy crocodiles. Ecch. Just don't do it. And not because it would be in poor taste, but because it's lame; everyone is going to have the same idea. From the Snopes.com message board: More »
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We don't want to make too big of a deal out of this; we are talking about a guy's family here. But it appears clear that that our favorite investigative reporter, who makes a side living busting repeated drunk drivers, should probably keep an eye closer to home. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=204836&view=rss&microfeed=true Well, here it is: Carl Monday being bum-rushed on "The Daily Show." The segment is as entertaining as we could have hoped — we love Jason Jones' Monday-esque intro — and, we hope, succeeds in finally crossing Carl over to an America that will never, ever be ready for him. More »
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You thought Carl Monday, being an Emmy winner after all, was as famous as he could possibly be. But you're wrong: He's about to go mainstream, baby. More »
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The past two weeks have been plenty good for Carl Monday. Not only was he a charter member of our own Hall of Fame, but he also won ... an Emmy! More »
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Presenting the final (for now) member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ... More »
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After witnessing, in slack-jawed awe, the truly beautiful thing that has been Deadspin Hall of Fame nomination post, we stand before you, at full attention, with the sharpest possible salute we can muster. That was so much fun to be a part of that the actual Hall of Fame almost seems redundant. More »
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Well, now that the Cleveland Plain-Dealer has weighed in on the No. 2 Deadspin ongoing gag, it's time to hop back to No. 1 again. More »
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So you know how yesterday was supposed to be Carl Monday Day for the Dunedin Blue Jays? Well, it turned out the game was postponed, but not because of the rain storms that hit the area. Nope, it's something much more ominous. More »
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So, hey, if you happen to be in the Dunedin, Fla. area tonight, it's the first of those big fun Dunedin Blue Jays promotions inspired by this here Web site. Tonight's festivities: Carl Monday Mustache Night. It's becoming increasingly easy to get in for a reduced $3 admission. More »
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Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London for the 2 p.m. tip-off. We'd just like to remind all prospective tossers, however, that this is not a free-for-all. There are rules, as listed on the official 2006 Masturbate-A-Thon site: More »
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What do you do when your real name is Mike Cooper — but you're not that Mike Cooper — and you've found your MySpace page inexplicably inundated over the last month or so? More »
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As you know, we're big fans of minor league baseball, particularly the odd promotions they put together from time-to-time. (We still think our favorite is the time a team gave away free vasectomies on Father's Day.) And a couple of weeks ago, we pointed you to the Dunedin Blue Jays' professional wrestling promotion. Well, now it appears the Blue Jays have decided to put together a promotion around something that's even less credible than professional wrestling: Blogs. Specifically, ours. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=189460&view=rss&microfeed=true We know, it's a week-and-a-half old now, but we never did get a hold of YouTube of the gripping finale of the Carl Monday-Mike Cooper saga, and it has been nagging us, since we this whole thing started from YouTube anyway. More »
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It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men and women — will compete in a series of self-love events to raise money for safe sex groups. We hear you snickering; but as Woody Allen once said on the subject, "Hey, I don't make fun of your hobbies." More »
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So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready. More »
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I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story. More »
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The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an orgasm? Of course, in most cash-for-sexual-transactions, you'd like the orgasm to be brought about by another person, but I suppose things don't always work out that way. More »
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