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This isn't just an advertisement for the most succulent amuse-bouche you've ever seen. It's also Chelsea being more self-aware than we though possible. More »
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Premier League champeens Chelsea have negotiated a £10,000 + add-ons deal to sign an 11-year-old striker from League Two club Northampton Town. More »
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On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating. More »
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It's a particularly sad day for Frankie Lamps, with news (in The Sun) that a great big pile of golden iPods emblazoned with his extravagant autograph have been "melted down" and replaced with a popular Japanese cartoon character, called Hello Kitty. More »
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Make no mistake about it, the next couple of months are going to become transfer bonkers. With that in mind, after the jump, you'll find some of the biggest stories of the summer. Potentially. More »
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 There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions. More »
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Well done to the 75 per cent of Spoiler readers who correctly fingered Chelsea as the eventual Premier League winners. More »
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Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls. More »
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Vanessa Perroncel didn't just have a fling with John Terry, new reports say. Try three other Chelsea teammates. I don't know if this makes Wayne Bridge feel better or worse. More »
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When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea. More »
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An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge. More »
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Chelsea had a bit of a rough go of it this year, especially after losing a heartbreaker to Barcelona in the Champions League, but their Italian-Brazilian midfielder Juliano Belletti can take solace in the fact that his sister has found comfort in the arms of Man U coxswain Cristiano Ronaldo. More »
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Barcelona pulled off a miraculously late rally to win their Champions League semi-final slugfest over Chelsea yesterday, but the defeated English are having some trouble coping. At least no one has hung themselves! Yet. More »
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Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »
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Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. More »
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