Deadspin: Chicago Blackhawks

The Best Part Of Sam Gagner's Eight-Point Night: Being Awarded All Three Stars

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:00:06 EST

Sam Gagner gave Edmonton something it hasn't seen since the days of Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey, and something nobody's done in 23 years. Despite a scoreless first period for the Oilers, Gagner scored four goals against the Blackhawks, assisted on four more, and clocked in just the 16th eight-point game in NHL history. More »

Let's All Get Wasted At Patrick Kane's Coming-Out Party

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:20:00 EST

Sidney Crosby suffered a neck injury, we were told. It was supposedly separate from his concussion issues, and announced by someone with the ominous title of neurological spine specialist, but we were reassured that it was fully healed. Nothing about that terse Penguins release was reassuring. Crosby has been more or less concussed for 13 months, and it's okay to start fearing the worst. This would be Crosby's seventh NHL season, which was right about when Eric Lindros approached the cliff. More »

Patrick Kane Proves That Superman Truly Is From Chicago

Sean Newell — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 09:58:48 EST

Your morning roundup for Jan. 29, the day we got a little bit extra out of the ATM. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. Image via. More »

This One's For Anyone Who's Ever Wanted To Tell A Sideline Reporter "I Love You, You're So Pretty And Beautiful"

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:45:00 EST

Greg from Lemont, Sarah Kustok from CSN, you two are just about the cutest couple and this isn't creepy at all. Make it happen. [CSN Chicago] More »

Please Kaner, Don't Hurt 'Em

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 12:10:59 EST

When we received a reminder from the NHL about last night's NHL 36, a docu-reality show featuring Patrick Kane, the nice PR person predicted that we would make fun of him. (I can't imagine why!) Before we had a chance, Kane scored a shootout clincher that makes us want to take back every joke we've ever made, and replace it with a headline reading "Patrick Kane sought for rape of Niklas Backstrom." More »

Patrick Kane Pulled Off A Perfect Spin-O-Rama Assist Last Night

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:20:00 EDT

The Hawks beat the Ducks 3-2 in a shutout in Chicago last night, and Patrick Kane, our favorite Buffalo boozehound, provided the prettiest play of the game. This assist to Marian Hossa tied it up in the second period. Kane later told reporters that he'd discussed the move with Hawks great Denis Savard (who had perfected and was known for "The Savardian Spin-O-Rama") many times before and gotten his advice on when to use it. More »

Maybe Justin Bieber Isn't The Most Loyal Maple Leafs Fan After All

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 18:30:00 EDT

Yesterday Bieber went on the radio and gushed about his Leafs fandom, being from Ontario and all. No bandwagoner he. Today he's rocking the Blackhawks cap. More »

Jonathan Toews Went To A Hockey Camp And Checked A Child To The Ice (Video)

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 11:00:00 EDT

What happens here is clearly an accidental collision involving Jonathan Toews, the Chicago Blackhawks' captain. But it's hard to tell what's worse: The faint, cringe-inducing wail of the child Toews inadvertently knocks over, or the complete indifference to the youngster shown by Lance Brown of CTV News Toronto. Brown offers nothing about the child (we're left to assume he's OK) except to say he got a lesson in "learning to keep his head up at all times" before then informing us of this: "Despite this big hit, Toews should be OK to attend camp that begins in 10 days." You're a dick, Lance Brown. More »

On Patrick Kane's Injury

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:25:26 EDT

The Blackhawks announced that Kane will undergo surgery to repair a fractured wrist. We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts. More »

Watch A Hockey Referee Materialize Out Of Thin Air

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 13:10:28 EDT

This is from the 2009 Western Conference finals, and we have no idea why it just showed up on YouTube yesterday. But watch at the 0:07 mark, when linesman Brad Lazarowich enters the picture, seemingly out of nowhere. We've watched this about a billion times, and we think we've figured it out: it's magic. More »

Patrick Kane Does Something Really Nice

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 13:35:00 EDT

PK showed up at a 10-year-old fan's floor hockey birthday, because he's an all-around decent guy. See Patrick? We love you! Please come back to us, Patrick. [Chicago Tribune] More »

Patrick Kane's Offseason Begins With A Black Eye, Taking A Girl Home From A Club

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 11 May 2011 12:20:31 EDT

Oh Kaner. We take a lot of shit for giving you shit, but you keep giving us shit to give you shit for. More »

"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver

Sam Eifling — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 17:15:21 EDT

VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks had the best record in the NHL this year, and their fans still are in that whipped-dog category. More »

Patrick Kane Needs A Drink

Tommy Craggs — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 10:30:08 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 27, the day we let the idiots drive the national agenda. More »

Star Of Fred Claus Points And Laughs At Four-Time NHL All-Star

Jack Dickey — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

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Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist. More »

Dueling Mullets Welcome You To Day One Of The NHL Playoffs

Jack Dickey — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 13, the day Justin Bieber reminded us that the Middle East is still fucked up. More »

NHL Playoff Blood Flows Red On The Regular-Season Rink

Brian Hickey — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 15:15:00 EDT

Thanks to tipster Noah D. for sending in this shot of Johan Franzen of the Detroit Red Wings after he'd been face-cut by Blackhawk Duncan Keith's stick in today's regular-season finale. More »

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:15:00 EDT

Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new sources of entertainment from the sideline, and on Tuesday night at the Bell Centre in Montreal, he actually accepted a casual bet from a Canadiens fan. How nice and totally benign! Until, of course, the NHL inevitably rains on this perfectly harmless parade. More »

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder

Jack Dickey — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV. More »

VCU Has Now Forced Its Unbearable Victory Song Upon Us

Jack Dickey — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for March 30, the day Peter Venkman signed on to play FDR. More »

Child Blackhawk Reporter Has The World By Its Balls

Luke O'Brien — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 12:15:47 EST

Hiring cute children as on-air talent is no longer a meme. It's an affliction. The innocently invasive questions. The gnat-like attention spans. We should be sick of it. But, hell, this little feller the Chicago Blackhawks have working the locker room is still fairly adorable as he talks to players about girls and interrogates forward Patrick Sharp about being "beautiful" enough to appear on the cover of Chicago magazine. Awwww. It's Joey the Junior Reporter...complete with Facebook page and, we can only imagine, lurking talent agent. More »

Did Patrick Kane Have A Two-Day Hangover? (UPDATE)

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:55:00 EST

Patrick Kane missed Blackhawks practice Monday and Tuesday with "flulike symptoms." The team wouldn't elaborate, but flulike symptoms might consist of nausea, vomiting, chills, aches, weakness, diarrhea. What else could cause those? Maybe, just maybe, throwing down at a Chicago bar on Sunday. More »

Who Is Pink Blackberry Cover Girl?

Brian Hickey — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 17:00:00 EST

Upon seeing the photo from this morning's Wake Up Deadspin post about Chicago Blackhawk John Scott beating Kings enforcer Kevin Westgarth into bloody submission, astute reader Anarchy Salad posed a very interesting scenario. More »

Chicago Reporter Fired, Possibly For Dating A Player

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 13:45:00 EDT

Jen Patterson was let go by Comcast SportsNet Chicago, a week after her relationship with Blackhawk Nick Boynton became public. That's a quick fall for one of CSN's "rising stars." More »

Rays Fans Just Blue Themselves

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 09:45:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Kris "Vertseeg" Gets His Stanley Cup Due

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 12:35:00 EDT

Happens every year. They misspell someone's name on the Stanley Cup, and because of the sacredness of the Cup, he's forced to legally change his name. Sucks, Versteeg. [Sun-Times] More »

Blackhawks Fans Swing Dancing To That One Annoying Song, Because Why Not

David Matthews — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:15:00 EDT

A bunch of Blackhawks fans finally decided to combine their team's insufferable goal-scored anthem with the Lindy Hop because when anyone thinks "middling Scottish rock song," they think "dance celebrating Charles Linbergh." [Puck Daddy] More »

Patrick Kane Loves Him Some Twilight

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 10:35:08 EDT

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Seen on MySpace: Stanley Cup Winner. Likes: Team Edward. Dislikes: When my mom comes in my room without knocking first. More »

Jonathan Toews To Be NHL 2011 Cover Boy?

David Matthews — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 12:30:52 EDT

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According to this picture, Blackhawks captain Jonathan Toews will be the cover athlete for EA's NHL 2011, a year after his linemate, social drinker Patrick Kane, adorned the cover. [Operation Sports, via Puck Daddy] More »

Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade

David Matthews — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 18:50:08 EDT

Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump. More »

Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation

David Matthews — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 16:00:50 EDT

Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside. More »

Blackhawks Dealt With Pronger About As Maturely As Chicago Paper

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 11:00:00 EDT

The Tribune may have insinuated it, when they poorly photoshopped Chris Pronger's torso onto a skirt. But someone in the Blackhawks locker room went whole hog, writing "Pronger Is Gay" on their whiteboard. More »

Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:30:06 EDT

Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk. More »

Dear Roenick: It's OK, Let It Out

David Matthews — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:00:03 EDT

Jeremy Roenick is a 40-year-old man. He was one of the NHL's best players during one of the NHL's least enjoyable periods. Last night, he cried on national TV. It's really fine that he did. More »

Blackhawks Celebrate Cup Win With 8AM Trip To Chicago Bar (MORE UPDATES)

David Matthews — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:30:00 EDT

The Hawks arrived back in Chicago today and, like all good hockey heroes, took the Cup to northside bar The Pony Inn around the time you were leaving for work. More »

Last Night's Winner: The Team That Won The Stanley Cup, Duh

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:30:00 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks and Rocky Wirtz, who needed just three years to undo what Dollar Bill Wirtz spent 40 years screwing up. More »

Chicago Blackhawks Win The Stanley Cup

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 23:02:01 EDT

It's over. Patrick Kane wins it for the Blackhawks with a "secret" goal in OT. Good for him. (Update: Now with bonus video of Jeremy Roenick's tears.) [NHL.com] More »

Last Call For Hockey? (a.k.a., The Cup Is In The Building)

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:00:46 EDT

Wait, a second....sports on NBC....on a school night? My stars! Let's hope it's not the last time. Unless you're a Blackhawks fans, in which, I don't care for your kind. (Why do I say things like?! So rude.) More »

Now The Stanley Cup Finals Is For Serious

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 07:45:16 EDT

Oh, Good. Philadelphia Is Back

Dashiell Bennett — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 09:45:41 EDT

Vice-President Joe Biden takes in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, along with a plastic mold of what appears to be his own head, as Philadelphia claws its way back to a 2-2 series tie. Never surrender. More »