Deadspin: Chicago White Sox

Chicago Man Breaks Into Kenny Williams' Home, Defrosts Lobster, Drinks Beer, Leaves With WS Ring

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 13:10:00 EST

A Chicago man was charged Monday with breaking into White Sox manager Kenny Williams' home and "taking several articles of clothing, a set of keys and jewelry," including a World Series ring. He also reportedly "drank his beer, ate frozen pizza, surfed the internet," and "defrosted a lobster." This man was not in a rush. [NBC Chicago, H/T Last Angry Fan] More »

Tony La Russa Appeared On A Game Show Roughly 30 Years Ago, And Nobody Knew Who He Was

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 10:10:00 EDT

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On Baseball Tonight Throughout The World Series

Jack Dickey — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 13:05:00 EDT

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It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen? (Guillen.) Got slapped by a Cubs catcher? (Pierzynski.) Kicked a Cubs catcher's mask while complaining? (Guillen.) More »

Not To Be Outdone, A.J. Pierzynski Would Like You To Know That The White Sox Occasionally Drink "Rally Beer" During Games

Jack Dickey — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:00:00 EDT

White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, everyone's favorite bleached-blond gnat (and World Series broadcaster), apparently wanted to stick up for the Red Sox players, bullied by the owners and the Boston Globe. So he went on The Dan Patrick Show and told everyone the White Sox occasionally drink in the clubhouse. Rally beer, you see. More »

The White Sox Could Have Had A Player-Manager. Damn, So Close.

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:30:00 EDT

Robin Ventura was formally introduced as the new White Sox manager today, a move that few people saw coming. But in a move that even fewer people saw not-coming, which they shouldn't have because it didn't happen, the ChiSox braintrust "considered" naming Paul Konerko a player-manager, the first in baseball in 26 years. More »

A.J. Pierzynski Will Be Irritating You On World Series Broadcasts This Year

Jack Dickey — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 19:45:00 EDT

Fox Sports announced today, per USA Today, that once-blond nuisance (and current White Sox starting catcher) AJ Pierzynski would join Eric Karros' pompadour and the formerly frosted, still gelled tips of Chris Rose on Fox's World Series pregame and postgame coverage. Yuck. (We presume Jeanne Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy are in a storage unit somewhere.) More »

Terry Francona Out As Manager Of Red Sox, Who Promised "No Scapegoats," To Be Replaced By (INSERT HIGH-PROFILE MANAGER HERE)

Jack Dickey — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 12:25:00 EDT

You already know the story of the Red Sox's epic collapse—an eight-and-a-half-game wild card lead, blown to bits, that 99.6 percent chance of making the playoffs, turned to zero. Now, according to pretty much every national baseball writer (Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal had it first last night), the Red Sox are going to axe poor, lovable Tito Francona for his role in the whole thing, even though they said no one blamed him. Francona had a two-year contract option, and the Sox won't pick it up. More »

An MLB Umpire Forgot The Count Last Night And Held The Game Up By Making A Phone Call (Video)

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 12:50:00 EDT

Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"

Jack Dickey — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 19:45:00 EDT

This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad." More »

The Chicago Baseball Experience: Come For The Losing, Stay For The Unsanitary Food

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:10:00 EDT

"Health inspectors who visited U.S. Cellular Field and Wrigley Field during the baseball season found dozens of violations at concessions, including food being kept at the wrong temperature and poor hygienic practices by some servers." [Chicago Tribune] More »

The 2011 MLB Rookie Hazing Costume Collection

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:15:00 EDT

Forcing rookies to dress in costume is an MLB tradition that's as childish as it is time-honored. A gloriously dumb reminder that most baseball players are manchildren, forever stuck in high school. We are too; it's a major reason baseball players are perhaps easier to connect with than athletes in any other sport. More »

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 10:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back

Jack Dickey — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 18:25:00 EDT

CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa. More »

Losing To Bruce Bleeping Chen Makes Ozzie Guillen Curse Like A Sailor

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 15:20:40 EDT

This is actually a very reasonable response to getting four hits in eight innings against Chen. [CBS Chicago] More »

Watch Man U's Gary Neville Throw A Truly Terrible First Pitch At A White Sox Game

Jack Dickey — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 12:30:00 EDT

Gary Neville, who played right back for England and Manchester United for perhaps forever, before retiring this year, was in Chicago on Thursday night to throw out the first pitch before the White Sox-A's game. Man U and the Chicago Fire will be playing a friendly shortly. He and his 400 caps are there to sell the damn thing. This was wretched. More »

Please Take Ozzie Guillen's Belt And Razor Away From Him

Jack Dickey — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:35:50 EDT

You might as well take his BlackBerry too. Because the White Sox's eccentric manager is having some kind of existential meltdown today and figured he should share. More »

Ozzie Guillen Just Might Have Lost It

Jack Dickey — Mon, 30 May 2011 11:45:00 EDT

Because when you're waxing lyrical about desecrated statutes of a team that started not only A.J. Pierzynski but Scott Podsednik and Carl Everett, you might just be off your rocker. More »

Being Captain Of The Saint John Sea Dogs Does Not Entitle You To Spit In Memorial Cup, But Watch This Guy Do It Anyway (UPDATE: ?)

Mon, 30 May 2011 10:00:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for May 30, Memorial Day, the day we learned the Groupon Voice. Video via tipster Brent, who writes (with a French BlackBerry signature appended!), "Watch beardo spit into the Memorial Cup. His teammates will be drinking out of it. Fucking gross." More »

MLB Actually Has A Rule About Using Twitter After Being Ejected

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 18:25:00 EDT

Ozzie Guillen was fined and suspended two games for a sort-of-off-the-field incident Wednesday. Soon after being ejected arguing balls and strikes in the first inning, Guillen fired off two Tweets: "This one is going to cost me a lot of money this is patetic." and: "Today a tough guy show up at yankee stadium." More »

Oney Guillen Apologizes, But Not Really

Sports Radio Interviews — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 15:10:04 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Oney stands behind his Bobby Jenks offensive. More »

Last Night's Winner: Ozzie Guillen's Son Puts Bobby Jenks On Blast

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 11:35:00 EST

After Jenks criticized Guillen's handling of his bullpen, Oney Guillen gave a measured response: accusing Jenks of alcoholism, marital problems and punching a clubhouse attendant. More »

Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:15:00 EST

What could be better than the quirky White Sox manager under your tree Christmas morning? This foulmouthed outtake reel, wherein Ozzie tries to sell you his nipples, or something. More »

Adam Dunn Is Probably Going To End Up Strangling Ozzie Guillen

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 16:55:13 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Adam Dunn on his new city and his new coach. More »

Before The Storm, After The Sunshine Band: The Prelude To Disco Demolition Night

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 13:30:18 EST

Our attention was brought to this collection of 35 rare photos taken prior to a Tigers/White Sox game on July 12, 1979. Not hours later, Comiskey Park would play host to the figurative end of the 70s, and the closest thing to a riot at an American sporting event since. More »

Russian Lady Hockey Fans Encouraged To Enter "Swimsuit Contest"

Brian Hickey — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 09:00:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Today In Ill-Conceived, Ill-Executed Tattoos

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 14:50:00 EDT

A Chicago woman was shocked to learn she had received a backwards White Sox logo tattoo on her thigh. Which is only marginally worse than having a regular White Sox logo tattoo on your thigh. [Sun-Times] More »

Last Night's Winner: Manny Ramirez And His Unnecessary Translator

David Matthews — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:55:00 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Manny Ramirez, who in his first presser with the White Sox pretended not to speak English and required the translation services of third base coach Joey Cora. More »

White Sox Beat Writer Goes Nuts On Minnesota

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:20:00 EDT

Sun-Times reporter Joe Cowley is a homer in a city of media homers. But his Twitterrhea explosion last night against the Twins and their fans was something else. Stereotypes about being ugly? Calling players jag-offs? Mocking the dead? Check, check and double-check. More »

Deadpin I-Team Assemble For The Case Of The Goat-Masked White Sox Fan

Deadspin I-Team — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 15:40:00 EDT

It's time for the I-Team to gather once more and discover the identity of a Chicago baseball fan. This time: a South Sider. Though no M&M's-Jacket-Guy, it is a guy wearing a sleeveless shirtsey while wearing a horrific goat mask. More »

Ozzie Guillen, GM, "Almost Come To Blows"

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 13:40:37 EDT

The White Sox front office has been upgraded to DEFCON 2, after Guillen and Ken Williams nearly threw down during the MLB draft. The catalyst? The Sox waiting until the 22nd round to take Guillen's son. More »

Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing

David Matthews — Sat, 22 May 2010 13:45:00 EDT

Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid More »

Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree

Dashiell Bennett — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 16:45:54 EDT

The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic] More »

Chicago White Sox: Non-Performance Is No Indicator Of Future Results

Will Leitch — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:45:00 EDT

Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago White Sox. More »

No Early Termination For Ozzie, Reinsdorf

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:30:00 EST

Happy 74th birthday, Jerry Reinsdorf! What do you have to say to him, Ozzie? "As soon as he dies, I'll get the fuck out." And he didn't even need Twitter to say it! [Sun-Times] More »

Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:30:00 EST

Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous. More »

The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing

kentremendous — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:00:30 EDT

One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit. More »

White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:15:00 EDT

The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season. More »

Crappy White Sox Tickets No One Wanted Are Now Expensive Keepsakes

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:15:28 EDT

Maybe you didn't see Mark Buehrle twirl a perfect game live, but now, thanks to the glories of American commerce and the indifference of Sox fans, you can buy an unsold ticket from that day and pretend you did. [Ticketmaster] More »

Kenny Williams' No Good, Very Bad Day

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:30:58 EDT

First, the White Sox GM finds a moldering, $60 million fourth outfielder on waivers. Then he gets popped in Seattle for jaywalking. Only one of these things is criminally stupid. More »

Why Your Stadium Sucks: U.S. Cellular Field

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:30:10 EDT

This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Chicago White Sox's U.S. Cellular Field. More »