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Kris Medlen (the puffy-cheeked one with the bent brim) is the only one who gives it any effort, and he's followed by Chipper Jones's smug sunburnt visage. Ugh. Merry Christmas. More »
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Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make. More »
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Our friends at Talking Chop spotted something strange during the Brewers-Braves broadcast Thursday afternoon. More »
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The first weekend of baseball season wouldn't be complete without an "Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph" available to the highest bidder. As of 11 a.m., there were zero takers on the starting bid of $1. Fine, it's not authenticated, but this is still shocking when you consider that there's a "Chipper Jones Hand Signed Autographed Atlanta Braves Mini Batting Helmet" listed for $69.96 on Amazon. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Chipper Jones's season (career?) is over after an MRI revealed a torn ACL. And with that, the last Larry standing in the majors is Dewayne Wise. [AJC] More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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The Atlanta Braves third baseman is an avid hunter and since his home rests on a tract of land near the Mexican border, he often encounters many of brave illegal immigrants stealthily en route to a better way of life. More »
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A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution] More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5342587&view=rss&microfeed=true Forgive my Judaism, but I've never been known to partake in the sport of trophy hunting, especially when the trophy is so deliciously nonkosher. However after seeing this video of Chipper Jones I have to say it looks like a good ole' time. What's not to like about a sport that combines the fun of hiding quietly and playing dress-up with the occasional testosterone-fueled giggle fit? I say nothing. More »
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And I mean everything. Don't believe me? let's go through the ways. He's hitting for power, hitting for average, hitting lefties, hitting righties, hitting to all fields, hitting fastballs, hitting breaking balls, hitting sideways and slantways and longways and backways and frontways and squareways and any other ways you can think of, including hitting Pat Benatar with his best shot. He's doing it all. But can he hit his own eyesocket on a batting practice foul tip that ricochets off the tippy-top of the batting cage? More »
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The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night after the Braves beat the Brewers 8-1. Larry Wayne Jones Jr. was 2-for-4 with two walks, and following the game talked about being a shoo-in to make the NL All-Star roster for the first time since 2001. You'd think that would put him in a good mood, but no. More »
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One of our favorite early-season baseball rituals is the old "on-pace-for" game. Unfortunately, it's slim pickings this year; no one's hitting a ton of homers, and there aren't many individuals completely tearing up the league. (It's almost as if they're missing some sort of value-added supplements they've had in the past. Theoretically.) The best we can probably do is hope someone's gonna hit .400. More »
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Chipper Jones has been know for his entire baseball career as a purveyor of wisdom, a rare voice of reason in a world of insanity. Dare we call him professorial? We do; we do dare. More »
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OK, so maybe the Atlanta Braves career home run leaders list isn't the most imposing statistical group in baseball (Ryan Klesko is in the top 10). But Chipper Jones is No. 1, and you can't take that away from him ... at least until Jeff Francoeur passes him in 2012. Jones hit homers from both sides of the plate on Thursday — Nos. 371 and 372 — to pass Dale Murphy on the Atlanta leader list and help the Braves beat the Dodgers 8-6. Yes, Eddie Mathews and Hank Aaron both played in Atlanta, but the franchise has only been in that city since 1966 (Aaron hit fewer than half of his franchise-record 755 homers there). So the city's official home run leader is a guy named Chipper and there's not a damned thing you can do about it. Look, at least it's not Pokey or Boof. More »
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Continuing with the Atlanta-Braves-With-Anger-Issues theme, Chipper Jones and John Smoltz appear to be having a little bit of a tiff. Smoltz thinks Jones is milking an injury, and Jones thinks Smoltz is a big meaniehead, and neither one of them will speak directly to the other. More »
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We're half an hour away from USA baseball's second game in the World Baseball Classic, facing Jason Bay and some other Canadians. (We're really enjoying the Cuba-Panama game that's on right, now, by the way.) We're fully aware that seeing Alex Rodriguez in a United States uniform makes most of you consider rooting for Canada, by the way; sorry about that. More »
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