If you’re former second baseman Chuck Knoblauch and you want to engage in some weird Twitter beef, live your life, man. But if you’re former second baseman Chuck Knoblauch, and people are sick of your nonsense after you stopped being able to throw to first base and have had multiple domestic violence incidents since retiring, then we feel obligated to shit all over your lame-ass Twitter comebacks.

Knoblauch started getting some heat Saturday night when he went all retired ballplayer on Tom Verducci, tweeting, “What is Verducci talking about? Has he ever been between the white lines in a big league game? Um. NO. SHUT UP,” which can really only be read in the cadence of a spoiled teenager. That spurred some of Knoblauch’s followers to remind him of his issues toward the end of (and since) his playing days, and Knoblauch, perhaps weary from a day of celebrating America’s independence, mustered up some of the weakest, most childish Twitter comebacks we’ve ever seen. Such burns include:

Wait. Let’s stop here. Are you old enough to pee? ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH TO PEE? If so, I guess we can continue.

Chuck Knoblauch sorely needed to take a goddamn nap and pipe down. The July 4th holiday is not about Twitter beefs, it’s about celebrating our freedom to engage in such shenanigans. I just hope Knoblauch remembers that, SMH.

Photo via Associated Press