Deadspin: Cleveland Cavaliers

Dear Abby: Cleveland Sports Have Created An 8-Year-Old Psychopath

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:45:01 EDT

Yesterday's "Dear Abby" column featured "Good dad in Cleveland," who's seeking advice on what to do with his eight-year-old son, understandably driven to animal abuse by the frustrations of being a Cleveland sports fan. Little Junior loves sports, you see, but "he has trouble accepting a loss. He'll take out his disappointment by beating the dog." More »

Let's Watch David West Send The Cavs' Mascot To The Hospital By Punching The Shit Out Of Him

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 16:40:00 EDT

We told you yesterday morning about what happened to poor Moondog, the Cleveland Cavaliers' mascot who had to go the hospital the night before after being punched in the eye by the Pacers' David West. A different video, shot from a distance, has been making its way around the Internet since then, though because the camera was so far away it's tough to make out exactly what happened. More »

The Cavaliers' Mascot Had To Go To The Hospital Because David West Punched Him In The Eye

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:25:00 EDT

It's all fun and games until an NBA player lands a punch that sends a man in a giant dog costume to the hospital. This was the scene before last night's Pacers-Cavs game at Quicken Loans Arena, according Tom Reed of the Plain Dealer, who reported the story with the all the seriousness it deserved: More »

Tristan Thompson Wanted No Part Of Being On Deron Williams's Poster

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 11:00:20 EDT

Is there anything Deron Williams can't do? (Other than promise with a straight face that he'll be with the Nets next year. Or beat the Cavs last night.) More »

The Cleveland Cavaliers Really, Really Do Not Want To Be Associated With Rush Limbaugh Anymore

Timothy Burke — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:03:53 EST

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Sponsors have been fleeing Rush Limbaugh's radio program after last week's incident in which he called a birth control advocate a "slut" and a "prostitute." More »

Antawn Jamison Likes Playing With Kyrie Irving "Even Though He's A Dukie"

Sports Radio Interviews — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 17:00:00 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tobacco Road on the Cuyahoga. More »

Not One, But Two Cleveland Outlets Speak To Former Steakhouse Waitress Who Allegedly Served LeBron

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:35:00 EST

Writers for Cleveland Frowns and Cleveland Scene got together at a bar for some super-secret Cleveland business, and met a waitress who says she used to serve LeBron James at the XO steakhouse. I think she might be the primary source for most of Woj's scoops, too. [Cleveland Frowns, Cleveland Scene] More »

LeBron James Says He's Open To Playing Again In Cleveland, Maybe

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:15:00 EST

I admit it: I was skeptical when sources passed along something like this a couple of weeks back to a reporter from Cleveland. It all seemed so ridiculous, considering there are still two years remaining on LeBron's contract with the Heat. So much can happen between now and then. Besides, does anyone not named Chris Broussard really want to spend the next two years dwelling endlessly on the psychodrama of whether or not LeBron will return to his roots? More »

Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:45:00 EST

Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach: More »

Least Essential NBA Player Misses Least Essential NBA Game Because He Lost His Passport

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 16:20:39 EST

Samardo Samuels didn't travel with the Cavs to Toronto yesterday because he misplaced his passport and couldn't get a new one in time. We're told they played the game anyway, but couldn't find any proof. More »

LeBron James Wouldn't Let Walter Iooss Jr., Who Was Photographing Him For Nike, Speak Directly To Him

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:50:00 EST

If you get a chance to pick up last week's Sports Illustrated issue without gagging at the cover, it's worth flipping through to Walter Iooss Jr.'s career retrospective. The photographer has been shooting athletes and swimsuit models for SI for 50 years, and it turns out that he's got as many wonderful anecdotes about famous athletes as he does iconic images of them. More »

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 13:02:21 EDT

"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register] More »

Anyone Want A Life-Size Wall Decal Of Dan Gilbert's Bowtied Son?

Jack Dickey — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 15:35:00 EDT

Nick Gilbert, the breathing, five-foot talisman that charmed Cleveland to Kyrie Iring in May, wowed us with his snazzy enthusiasm at the lottery. More »

Hard-Hitting Dan Patrick Asks Kyrie Irving Where He's Going, About A Million Times

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 15:30:09 EDT

Former Cavalier/Wizard Larry Hughes May Have Pumped Your Gas Yesterday

Jack Dickey — Mon, 30 May 2011 14:00:00 EDT

And no, it's not because he shot .355 from the field in the '09-'10 season, during which he was dumped by the Knicks, Kings, and Bobcats. He made $84 million in his career, silly! More »

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday

Brian Hickey — Sun, 29 May 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs. More »

Revisiting The Great LeBron James Cocksucker Debate

Wed, 25 May 2011 16:10:49 EDT

here's a decent chance that at some point in the past 24 hours — perhaps when he did a little shimmy on the floor after drawing a late offensive foul, or when he began yapping demonstratively at the Less Than Zero extras in the stands, or when he passive-aggressively referred to Derrick Rose as "MVP," or when it emerged that he is pals with Drake — some of the old, cold feeling came rushing back. You remembered just what it was you hated about LeBron James. Now, with LeBron on the cusp of the NBA finals, let's revisit his summer of reckoning and the debate that raged through these pages: Is LeBron a cocksucker or not? More »

Today, Consider Bankrupting Dan Gilbert For A Good Cause

Jack Dickey — Fri, 20 May 2011 11:35:00 EDT

Nick Gilbert, bespoke son of Comic Sans-loving Cavaliers owner Dan, became your new favorite meme for about six hours Tuesday night when he presided over Cleveland's unlikely NBA draft lottery win. (And he too cued something in between dickishness and awkward humor from Timberwolves GM David Kahn.) More »

John Wall Also Knew The Cavs Were Going To Win The Lottery. HMM.

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 19 May 2011 18:10:00 EDT

TrueHoop's Henry Abbott asks that we take a second look at this throwaway line from Harvey Araton's piece on Kyrie Irving in the New York Times today: "Tuesday night, John Wall — last year's first pick by Washington — whispered 'Cleveland' in [Irving's] ear before the cameras turned on." Hmm. HMM. [TrueHoop, New York Times, Image via.] More »

Dan Gilbert Also Knew The Cavs Were Going To Win The Lottery. Hmm.

Wed, 18 May 2011 16:30:10 EDT

Dan Gilbert Has The Strangest Entourage In The NBA

Jack Dickey — Tue, 17 May 2011 23:55:00 EDT

Yes, perhaps you're already aware of young Nick Gilbert, the fellow in the front holding the jersey, who's blown up the web this evening. His father's Cavs won the draft lottery on low odds, and young Nick brought them luck. More »

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Make Osama Bin Laden's Death About LeBron James

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 02 May 2011 15:15:11 EDT

And it wasn't Scott Raab (yet). More »

If You Think LeBron James Quit On The Cavs In Last Year's Playoffs, LeBron James Thinks You're "Corny"

Brian Hickey — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 19:00:00 EDT

LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers faced the Boston Celtics in the second round of last year's NBA playoffs. LeBron James and the Miami Heat will face the Boston Celtics in the second round of this year's NBA playoffs, too! More »

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 10:40:00 EDT

The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Charlie Villanueva and Cleveland's Ryan Hollins were craving a more exciting exit. Perhaps that's why Villanueva went absolutely apeshit after swinging his fist into Hollins while setting a screen for teammate Greg Monroe, and then took off down the visitors' tunnel to intimidate the taunting Hollins. Who knows. Villanueva called it a "heat-of-the-moment thing." We'll call it a you're-going-to-lose-a-lot-of-money-for-no-reason thing. More »

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan

Brian Hickey — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 09:30:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make. More »

Scott Raab Shaved "QUITNESS" Into His Head For LeBron's Return

Jack Dickey — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 13:15:00 EDT

Esquire's Scott Raab, whose LeBron Watch here chronicled Cleveland's inevitable doom last summer, still is not quite cool with LeBron James, the Whore of Akron. More »

The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:05:00 EDT

The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another slight embarrassment in a season that has had a handful of slight embarrassments. They'll move on. But for the Cavs, who we must acknowledge have had a pretty terrible and demoralizing year, this rather meaningless game was otherwise a reason to hear their arena erupt — as they did on this incredible Baron Davis alley-oop to Alonzo Gee — and a reason for the fans to boo and a reason for everyone to give a shit again. At least for a night. More »

Floyd Mayweather Bet $50k On The Cavaliers Tonight

Jack Dickey — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 00:00:00 EDT

Miami was in Cleveland tonight, taking on the Cavaliers, Zydrunas Ilgauskas' former team. More »

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night

Brian Hickey — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 09:00:00 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow. More »

Baron Davis Traded To Cleveland, Some 2,300 Miles Away From Donald Sterling's Taunts

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 12:35:00 EST

Clippers guard Baron Davis, who has averaged 12.8 points and 7 assists this season — with some credit due to Blake Griffin's ability to finish close to the basket — is headed to Cleveland, along with a first-round draft pick. The Cavs are sending Mo Williams and Jamario Moon. Davis, who is nursing a swollen left knee, didn't play against the Hornets last night, and the LA Times reports that he looked "visibly downcast" after the game. Things are looking up, Baron: you no longer have to deal with Donald Sterling's bullshit. More »

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players

Brian Hickey — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 09:15:00 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work. More »

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak

Brian Hickey — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 09:15:00 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony. More »

Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue

Brian Hickey — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 09:00:00 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents. More »

Yes, The Cavaliers Are Favored To Win Tonight

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 18:45:00 EST

Lost in all the foofaraw over the Cavs' 25-game losing streak is the fact that, hey, there are some other terrible teams in the NBA. Like the Pistons! With a 6-21 road record, and probably without the services of Rip Hamilton, they're actually the underdogs going into tonight's game at the Q. For drama's sake, we're rooting for Detroit. We must preserve Sunday's game against the Wizards, who haven't won a road game yet this season.

The Cavaliers Make Baby Jesus Cry

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 10:30:59 EST

So it's come to this. Twenty-five straight games, without even once stumbling into a higher score than their opponent's. That's statistically improbable, even with a depth chart like this. More »

Human Knees Do Not Bend That Way

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 09:55:28 EST

Your morning roundup for Feb. 8, the day we were shanked to death by our own cock. More »

This Is What Happens When You Get Caught Stealing Someone's Shovel During A Blizzard (Video)

Brian Hickey — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 09:15:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken

Jack Dickey — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 14:40:00 EST

Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers! More »

Mascot Fighting Fan Is Fake, Still Funny

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 12:20:00 EST

The Utah Jazz's bear mascot, creatively named "Bear," recently got into it with a visiting Cavaliers "fan." Yeah, it's staged, but we totally believe that Cleveland fans would lose a fight with a furry. More »

Is It Time To Admit LeBron Was Right To Get Out Of Cleveland?

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:20:00 EST

Since November 29th, the Heat are 21-1, while the Cavaliers have gone 1-21. This was the team we expected him to stick around and fruitlessly try to win with? More »