![Dispatch: "I Jacked It On Camera For Money"](http://cache-08.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/126x100_will_masturbating_01.jpg "Dispatch: "I Jacked It On Camera For Money"")
Enter your username and password.
Small disagreement on #10. Have a joint account to pay for the household expenses. Have separate accounts for some of your own personal items so no one feels like they have to explain the $20 for a manicure or in my husband's case, the random money spent on what I think is unneeded hair product. (Seriously, the man has a fucking problem with his curly hair.) Update each other weekly on the balances in the separate accounts so no one is surprised when it comes to budgeting and bill paying. But having everything 100% joined always leads to, "Why the did you spend $3 at 7-11? YOU DON'T NEED SLURPEES."
Both men and women should ALWAYS ask the following: How much are you going to help with housework? Will you do the dishes? What about the bathroom? Are you grossed out by cleaning the toilet? Will you be grossed out when you see me put on the gloves and clean your shit and my period blood off of the toilet seat? If yes, do you make enough to pay for a maid? How often do you believe in cleaning? Daily? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Most people have different definitions of clean. Reply
Both men and women should ALWAYS ask the following: How much are you going to help with housework? Will you do the dishes? What about the bathroom? Are you grossed out by cleaning the toilet? Will you be grossed out when you see me put on the gloves and clean your shit and my period blood off of the toilet seat? If yes, do you make enough to pay for a maid? How often do you believe in cleaning? Daily? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Most people have different definitions of clean. Reply
@TheStarterWife: You still maintain separate accounts outside of the joint account? You're not married, you're pre-divorced.
Reply
@tekamul: You have to have some money to call your own. Everyone works too fucking hard soul sucking jobs to not have a little money to call entirely their own. I've been in relationships where we handled money 100% jointly and. It. Just. Didn't. Work. #fksfridays
Reply
@tekamul: I disagree. My wife and I don't have a joint account at all. I pay all the bills, and she gives me money toward those "common" expenses. As long as I'm not late with the bills, she doesn't care if I blew $40 on eBay buying a Jan. 1930 edition of the Official Guide to the Railways. Conversely, as long as she makes her contribution on time, if she wants to hit up Amazon and buy the complete collection of V and Friday the 13th on DVD, she's free to knock herself out.
We don't hide our account info from each other. Either one of us can quickly look at the other's account if either one of wishes.
Really, it all depends upon the couple. If each are responsible with money and trust each other completely (this cannot be stressed enough), then there's nothing wrong with separate accounts. Reply
We don't hide our account info from each other. Either one of us can quickly look at the other's account if either one of wishes.
Really, it all depends upon the couple. If each are responsible with money and trust each other completely (this cannot be stressed enough), then there's nothing wrong with separate accounts. Reply
@tekamul: See we never created a real joint account. We just split the bills fairly and pay them. Its worked for us... #fksfridays
Reply
@TheStarterWife: I agree with you on the separate bank accounts question. When I was married I used my own account to pay for things for me, like a new computer. I saved the money, I got to buy myself a new toy. When my ex-wife and I split up, we each had our own bank accounts to fall back on. You have to be a little transparent about it so your spouse knows you're not hiding a fortune, but if you can't be honest with them about your finances maybe you shouldn't be married.
The cleaning issue is huge. I always thought I was messy, but my ex-wife turned out to be the messy one. We'd go months without cleaning the bathroom or the kitchen. Now my apartment isn't spotless but it's a lot less of a disaster than my ex-wife's. I don't know how she can live with all that clutter. #fksfridays Reply
The cleaning issue is huge. I always thought I was messy, but my ex-wife turned out to be the messy one. We'd go months without cleaning the bathroom or the kitchen. Now my apartment isn't spotless but it's a lot less of a disaster than my ex-wife's. I don't know how she can live with all that clutter. #fksfridays Reply
@Hustler of Culture: I'm with you on this. We have a joint savings account, but separate checking. My wife (who is in college) pays her own car payment, and the lawn treatment, and I pay the rest.
This idea that you have to combine checking accounts seems kind of silly.
on the plus side, I've been married six years and, with no kids and no dog, I've cleaned off close to half this list. #fksfridays Reply
This idea that you have to combine checking accounts seems kind of silly.
on the plus side, I've been married six years and, with no kids and no dog, I've cleaned off close to half this list. #fksfridays Reply
@TheStarterWife: Not to make gross generalizations, I mean NOBODY does that here, but out of my estimated 10 girl friends (like the no making out-type) I know of one with a resemblance of a "savings" of any kind. I feel like my generation of "women" are looking for a goddamn marriage bailout. It is sick.
/Almost 25
//Not excited for my first bloody coup of a divorce. #fksfridays Reply
/Almost 25
//Not excited for my first bloody coup of a divorce. #fksfridays Reply
@When_you_get_the_money_you_get...: Don't get discouraged. It may seem that way, but that's not the case. I'm sure there are plenty of women looking for a bailout, but not all of them. Evaluate yourself: What is it that attracts you to a woman? Maybe your shortchanging yourself by focusing on too small a demographic of the female population.
Or, maybe you just try dating dudes. Can Choire help this guy out? #fksfridays Reply
Or, maybe you just try dating dudes. Can Choire help this guy out? #fksfridays Reply
@I Like Cheap Beer: I wish. That would make life so much easier. I just can't scratch this straight thing. #fksfridays
Reply
@TheStarterWife: I definitely go with you on this, my parents have been married going on 34 years and they have 2 separate and 1 joint checking. It's also a really good idea to wait a time period (that you both agree on) before combining credit cards or savings accounts. It's like sharing a bed with someone, you have to feel it out first.
Everyone needs to have their own cash. If you can't trust your mate with that, you can't trust them with anything, and you shouldn't be married.
My mom handles just about all the bills in my parents' relationship, while my girlfriend's dad handles all theirs. Do you guys like the one person bill authority, or split it up? #fksfridays Reply
Everyone needs to have their own cash. If you can't trust your mate with that, you can't trust them with anything, and you shouldn't be married.
My mom handles just about all the bills in my parents' relationship, while my girlfriend's dad handles all theirs. Do you guys like the one person bill authority, or split it up? #fksfridays Reply
@Juancho: I'd agree. Wife and I have a joint account for mortgage, etc., where we each put half our monthly income. The rest goes toward personal bills (me) or fun stuff (spoiled rich girl who paid cash for college).
Not that I'm bitter. #fksfridays Reply
Not that I'm bitter. #fksfridays Reply
@Juancho: We do it together, so no one is surprised how much the gas bill is, groceries, etc. @When_you_get_the_money_you_get...: I think there are both men and women looking for "bailouts" and the trick is to avoid them, because really? They're still kids and not ready for life. (I once had a boyfriend who ran to his parents every time he couldn't make his ends meet because he blew his cash on stupid shit. If he couldn't plan for himself there was no way he could plan for a family, so I dumped his needy ass.) #fksfridays
Reply
@TheStarterWife: Completely agree. You don't even need joint accounts in my opinion. You just need to set the percentages on bills, groceries, and childcare. #fksfridays
Reply
@TheStarterWife: I look at it this way- What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours. This includes large property, personal debts, etc. Now, when you get married, you can ease into stuff and help each other out (that's where love comes in), especially after you start buying stuff together. But you take care of your own. It's just personal responsibility. #fksfridays
Reply
@Juancho: I look at it this way- What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours
You should probably avoid community property states, then. #fksfridays Reply
You should probably avoid community property states, then. #fksfridays Reply
@TheStarterWife: This is the best advice. 100% joined just doesn't work. I will never do it again. It took me a long time to not have to hear about the $15 I spent on a freaking business lunch.
Alternatively, it also made it super difficult to genuinely surprise my (ex-)wife with a gift; I'd have to buy something the same day, hope it didn't post to the account, and hope that she wasn't checking the accounts that day... #fksfridays Reply
Alternatively, it also made it super difficult to genuinely surprise my (ex-)wife with a gift; I'd have to buy something the same day, hope it didn't post to the account, and hope that she wasn't checking the accounts that day... #fksfridays Reply
@TheStarterWife: I second the bank account structure. Everyone needs a little space to call their own, fiscally. I do NOT want to see the $70/month bill for a gym membership that involves a yoga lesson and two rides on the treadmill a week on any bank account of mine- that is overpaying for shit that won't even keep you fit, and that drives me nuts. I'm sure she feels the same about my 20-year tawny port habit... We get our paychecks and any major other checks (tax refunds, insurance reimbusements) dumped into the joint account and write out allowance checks to the each of us every month. The joint account has no debit card and no internets access. Keeps the bullshit to a minimum.
Also disagree on the kid thing... My wife and I are having a kid now-- after living together for 8 years before marriage and two years of marriage. I'm stoked, she's stoked, and yeah, Young Titus will be a lot of work, but WTF... Ambivalence paid off over and over in road trips that didn't suck while we were still young enough to fuck in public. #fksfridays Reply
Also disagree on the kid thing... My wife and I are having a kid now-- after living together for 8 years before marriage and two years of marriage. I'm stoked, she's stoked, and yeah, Young Titus will be a lot of work, but WTF... Ambivalence paid off over and over in road trips that didn't suck while we were still young enough to fuck in public. #fksfridays Reply
@TheStarterWife: I'm a banker, I deal with the finance. Not that she isn't welcome to look at whatever she wants, but one person writing the checks means less time spent thinking about money, which buys things that make us happy, but not time... I'm sure that one day I will get sick and tired of it, and she'll take over. But, that's a ways off. I haven't balanced the check book in 6 years (we started this pre-marriage) and have NEVER bounced a check. She balances her checkbook monthly and still winds up OD about once every 18 months... Sometimes it's just better this way. She's really good at cleaning toilets, and let her do that job (kidding! just kidding!) #fksfridays
Reply
@TheStarterWife: Your only choices are: Daily, Weekly & Bi-weekly.... which begs the question, If I say I only do it once a year (Spring cleaning), does that mean you wont marry me ? #fksfridays
Reply