Christmas Ape commented on Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch

"Hines Field That numbell one best missperring evel!"

Christmas Ape commented on Run For Your Life At The Baltimore Marathon!

"I think the only way they could have avoided this was to have the racers run 500 laps around the aquarium."

Christmas Ape commented on This Is The Headline That Haunts Matt Holliday's Dreams

"The Creigh Deeds campaign has been tough on us all, Matt, but don't take it so personally."

Christmas Ape commented on G-20 Demonstrators Will Bring Down The Global Capitalist Hegemony With Sports-Themed Protest

"They can't all have Sepulveda's number!"

Christmas Ape commented on Men With Telestrators Can't Stop Drawing Dongs

"Quite the needledick"

Christmas Ape commented on Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers

"THIS MEANS YOU, APE! Yes, I conveniently ignored the two Super Bowls the Redskins won when I was a kid in Maryland because I knew the Steelers would win two in my 20s. /burns Drew's collection of salmon shirts"

Christmas Ape commented on Why Your Team Sucks: Baltimore Ravens

"You forgot that Ray-Ray campaigned for the Jets or the Cowboys to sign him to big money in the offseason, then crawled back to Baltimore with his tail between his legs when no one wanted a fat old linebacker."

Christmas Ape commented on This Week in Love

"The first ever wedding registry at the Sun-Maid raisin factory?"

Christmas Ape commented on Blazer Girl In The Land Of The Plastic Coyote

"Her brown plastic hunting dogs For her fake Bristol rubber plant In the fake plastic earth. That she bought from a Norby man In a town full of bike racks To get rid of itself. It wears her out, it wears her out It wears her out, it wears her out."

Christmas Ape commented on Why Your Team Sucks: Denver Broncos

"Any team that gets Shannon Sharpe a Super Bowl and the right to brag about it for years to his 37 bastard kids is a team I want no part of."