<![CDATA[Comments from Phony Gwynn]]> <![CDATA[Comments from Phony Gwynn]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Some Sweet, Sweet Charlie Weis Love, And Other Unconventional Sports Crushes]]> Why do I keep hearing the 'Lowered Expectations' jingle?

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Is This The Most Suggestive Sports Headline Ever Written?]]> What if said ruler was tattooed on his inner thigh? Would that help?

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Morning Blogdome: I Don't Believe What I Just Saw!]]> Those sure are some golden Nuggets.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Bookie Mom's Big Day And Other Fallout From The Steelers-Chargers Debacle]]> MILTPATTPW (Married Invalid Looking To Push Attention Toward Terrible, Pock-Marked Wrinkles)

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Brace Yourselves ... There's Another Baby Mangino ...]]> Massive amounts of electrical tape? Check.

Vaguely Hitler-esque mustache that needs to be redrawn constantly, because the child is either wiping it away or snotting all over it? Check.

Aforementioned drool? Check.

Shit-eating grin and vacant stare that can gaze into my soul? No.

The original, and still champion.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on 0-16 Is Upon Us. Jamboroo, Week 11, Featuring King Diamond, Poop, And Mongolian Wok]]> I would gut my boss with a spork if Stacey Dash would look at me for 10 seconds with those eyes while orgasming. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if I was the one who made her climax.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on 0-16 Is Upon Us. Jamboroo, Week 11, Featuring King Diamond, Poop, And Mongolian Wok]]> Not only do are they missing talent.

Jesus, they're so bad they even affect grammar.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Courtney Bryan was cut by]]> Not one Simpsons' "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's!" joke? For shame.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Youky Lands A Hot One, But There's A Hitch]]> "We surveyed 100 people. Give me one word to describe Kevin Youkilis' batting stance."

[BUZZZZZZZZZZ]

"Gay!"

"Survey says ... Gay!"

[first box flips over, revealing 'Gay: 87']

"Nicely done! Do you want to play?"

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Colorado State's new interim]]> We've been screwed for while.

/hits Philly blunt, drinks Goldschlager, wistfully remembers mid-to-late-90s

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Morning Blogdome: Tim Tebow Is A Humble Man]]> Is that Tim Robbins on TV?

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on If They've Named It 'The Cage Of Death,' You Know It's Safe]]> That's not a cage - that's a cage.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Buck Burnette Just Can't Stop Apologizing for Absent-Minded Facebook Racism]]> What a waste of a wonderful porn name.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Well, They're Back To Square One With The Old Folks Home Flasher Case]]> "Mr. De Niro, please, put the robe on and step away from the cheeseburger."

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Quinn's Debut Inspires A Nation, Browns Lose As Usual]]> But then teammates reminded him that it might draw a penalty, which could lose them the game.

And, since that teammate was white, it was widely regarded as a "smart" move. What a country!

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Thursday Night Preview: Maryland at Virginia Tech and #12 TCU at #8 Utah]]> Utah is 9-0 but still has games left against San Diego State and Utah.

See, we told you we'd fuck you somehow. Unless you're a penis with arms, you can't beat yourself.

-BCS

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Stat Nerd Better At Predicting Elections Than Predicting The NL East]]> (He also called 49 of the 50 stats correctly.)

True, but he called VORP "vurp" which, as we all know, is a half-vomit, half-burp hybrid that makes your breath smell like ass and rotten cabbage. So, he's not perfect.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Morning Blogdome: Joey Porter Is Not Helping]]> As a Bronco fan and CSU alumnus, that picture just reminds me of yet another horrible, sad weekend in my football-rooting life.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Seven-Year-Old Football Fan Meets Erin Andrews, Inspires A Nation (With Video)]]> I'll be more impressed if EA's snatch is covered in black and red paint.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Media Approval Ratings: Jeanne Zelasko]]> That picture makes her look like an alien on Futurama.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8]]> But if you know anything about men, it's that we are in constant need of new and usual things to get turned on about.

Oh, you're reading "People" again? SEXY!

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on I haven't seen Basketbawful's]]> at the open of the 2009-2009 NBA season

Wait, Weekly World News doesn't have fact-checkers? THE HUMANITY!

or

Fuck his basketball skills, dude can travel through time.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Erin Andrews Fears Birds, Loves Mitch Albom, Ands Wants Dudes to Stop Ogling Her While She Sleeps on a Plane]]> Who would've thought that such provocative, interesting, unique questions would come from a publication called "Sports Business Daily"?

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Afternoon Blogdome: Excessive Force]]> That's a Wildcat formation I don't want to deal with.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Septuagenarian Shooting Guard Suits Up For College Hoops Team]]> That picture is freaking fantastic.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Exhibits Excellence In TV Journalism]]> Glandorf the White, indeed.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on The $400,000 New York Jets Tickets]]> For that kind of money, I want a thorough explanation of how Coles's mom came up with "Laveraneus."

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Wherein Your New Associate Editor Gets Misty-Eyed About The Hoosier Dome]]> And more hardcore porn.

Somebody buy him a beer.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on It ... Is ... ALIVE]]> The pitching around Bay to get to Drew is fine. Lefty with a nasty hook against a lefty. It's leaving Grant Balfour and Dan Wheeler in too long to get anally raped that had me scratching my head.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on Scoop Jackson's Column Continues to Offend; Jason Whitlock Demands Swift Editorial Execution]]> What's whiter than Puca Shells?

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on The Greg Oden Picture Guy Strikes Again]]> SportsWaldo's beard looks like ass.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on The Magic Hour returns...kind]]> Thank God. Now TNT can go back to being the true best studio show it was whenever he wasn't on set.

]]> <![CDATA[Phony Gwynn commented on The Magic Of Prom Night, And Of Being 1-0 In The NLCS]]> Jim Eisenreich thinks that dress is FUCKING just beautiful.

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