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For one day only, it's the return of the Daily Closer! More »
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As Tuco said when he got the drop on Clint Eastwood in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, "There are two kinds of spurs, my friend. Those that come in by the door [crosses himself], and those that come in by the window." The Rockies came in the latter way, beating the Diamondbacks 4-3 on Sunday to force the unlikliest of one-game playoff showdowns for the final spot in the NL postseason field. And so it shall come to pass, Padres vs. Rockies at the Coors Field Thunderdome, today, 7:35 p.m. ET The Padres have their Patron Saint, Jake Peavy, on the mound; praise be to his 10-1 record over his past 11 starts. But the Rockies — winners of 13 of their past 14 to earn a ticket to this dance — have their own guardian angel. He's blond, bespectacled, has a high-pitched voice and is on excellent terms with the Almighty; at least if one can believe the movie Oh, God, anyway. More »
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Whenever I see a baseball fight late in the season, I picture Colin Mochrie in front of a green screen trying to figure out what's going on, saying "Well, it all started over a bowl of soup! And now ... look at it!" More »
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What happens when Lou Piniella has nothing else to yell about? Does he grumble that the champagne isn't Korbel? If it is Korbel, does he kvetch that it's not another brand name bubbly? Does he still find some way to throw his hat and choke a child? We may never know the answer, because we're too lazy to ask anyone. And at this hour, it would be rude to ask the Cubs anything, other than what they want for breakfast, because they're all tuckered out from winning the NL Central last night. More »
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The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card race, with their final series beginning today against Arizona at Coors Field. So a theme song is imperative, and they are asking you for help. Their fans have been absolutely no freakin' help so far (The Bee Gees? John Denver?), so come, on, pitch in! The Rockies thank you. (No Survivor please). More »
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OK, who looked more lifelike: Castro in his latest speech; bin Laden in his last taped address; or George Steinbrenner during Wednesday's Yankees game? They dusted off the long-dead owner, propped him up in a luxury box and had him "watch" New York clinch a playoff berth on Wednesday, the Yankees beating Tampa Bay 12-4 to complete the AL playoff field. New York will either enter as the wild card, or, in a long shot, as the AL East champs. The Yankees are three games behind Boston with four games left. Detroit, you're out. More »
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If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tuesday, propelling Milwaukee past St. Louis, 9-1, pulling the Brewers within two games of first-place Chicago. Fielder became the youngest player ever to hit 50 in a season, and afterwards had a few choice phrases for his dad, Cecil. More »
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This photo is from Sunday, but it tells you all you need to know about the Padres right now. Milton Bradley being helped off the field, his season ended due to injury after a run-in with an umpire. San Diego had already lost center fielder Mike Cameron to an injury, meaning that two-thirds of their starting outfield is now kaput. And worse, the Padres lost to the Giants on Monday, 9-4, meaning that Philadelphia has now pulled even with them in the NL wild-card chase. Man. In the words of the immortal Daffy Duck: "I demand that you shoot me!" More »
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Has a major league player ever before been injured after he was ejected from a game? Come on Elias Sports Bureau, make yourselves useful for once! Milton Bradley may be headed to the DL because of an umpire, he says. It was manager Bud Black who grabbed Bradley and spun him to the ground, preventing him from going after umpire Mike Winters after Winters had ejected him. Bradley sustained a knee injury due to the takedown. It all stemmed from Winters claiming that Bradley had thrown a bat at him after he had struck out. Hilarity, and then ejection, ensued. The whole thing is, as they say, a big bowl of wrong. More »
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Oh, look, we've got our first team out on the dance floor. Quick, someone tell the DJ to keep that 'Kool & The Gang' coming! More »
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If Barry Bonds wants to play another season, it won't be in a San Francisco Giants uniform. Giants owner Peter Magowan handed Bonds the proverbial pink-slip during a 90-minute meeting Thursday night. The Giants informed the press at a news conference last night. (Unfortunately, sans Bonds ... and Jake Byrd.) More »
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We think we've found the problem, Mets' fans. The reason for your team's sudden collapse is not Willie Randolph's mismanagement of the bullpen, not a stretch of 10 errors in two games, not poor clutch hitting. It all comes down to your very own Steve Bartman. Yes, it's Matt Murphy's fault. More »
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Everything is coming up pinstripes lately, and Boston fans are none too happy, of course. Andy Pettitte earned his 200th win and Mariano Rivera escaped a bases-loaded jam in the ninth as the Yankees beat Orioles 2-1 Wednesday, New York pulling to within 1½ games of first-place Boston. Do I need to mention at this point that the Red Sox lost to the Blue Jays, 6-1? I thought not. More »
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Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance with 11 games left. Boston lost to the Blue Jays, 4-3 on Tuesday, while New York was beating Baltimore, 12-0. ... Anybody want a peanut? More »
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The 1962 New York Mets lost 120 games and finished 60 1/2 games out of first, a result which could not have been worse if Lucy Van Pelt had played in their outfield. But the current Mets have accomplished something that their '62 brothers never did: They have made 10 errors in their past two games. Combined with spotty hitting, a schizophrenic bullpen and a resurgent Phillies' squad breathing down their necks, Mets' fans are beside themselves. We can only imagine what Tanner Boyle would say. More »
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If you ask me, Jim Thome is exactly the kind of guy to whom Willy Wonka would have left his chocolate factory. (I also sometimes imagine Bob Costas as an Oompa Loompa). Think of baseball with no cattle steroids or corked bats or "You dead, dawg," or Human Growth Hormone or Jose Canseco book signings. Just guys like Thome rounding the bases, fist extended, while back at the paper Max Mercy is on the horn making inquiries about his background. Five hundred home runs; that's quite an accomplishment, kid. And on the day they distributed your bobblehead doll, no less. Roy Hobbs never had a bobblehead night. More »
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If only he had hit a 'Glam Slam' ... Prince Fielder's NL-leading and franchise record 46th homerun gave the Brewers an edge as Milwaukee beat Cincinnati, 5-3, to gain some ground in NL Central race. Milwaukee sits a game behind the Cubs, who split two against the Cardinals. More »
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Here we go again ... The Yankees honey mustered six runs in the eighth, immediately erasing a five-run deficit, en route to an 8-7 victory over the Sox at Fenway. Jason Giambi and Robinson Cano started the comeback with home runs off Hideki Okajima. Derek Jeter followed with an RBI single against Jonathan Papelbon, Bobby Abreu tied it with a two-run double, and A-Rod cherried it with a tiebreaking single. Rick Moranis was also involved. The win brings New York within 4 1/2 games of the AL East lead. More »
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Alternate headline: Everybody Hurts (Sometime). If there's such a thing as momentum in sports — as if games are a rolling wheel of cheese and players are stumbling down a grassy English hill — then the Yankees just lost it on the eve of their most important series of the season. A.J. Burnett pitched eight strong innings and Frank Thomas singled home the winning run in the ninth as Toronto beat New York 2-1, ending the Yankees' seven-game winning streak. More »
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Lee to Theriot to Dempster is the new Tinkers to Evers to Chance? With a runner on third and nursing a one-run lead, reliever Ryan Dempster induced a bad-hop grounder to first baseman Derek Lee, who converted it into a game-ending double play. Cubs 3, Astros 2, and coupled with Milwaukee's 7-4 loss to the Pirates, Chicago is back in a first-place tie with the Brewers in the Whack-A-Mole game that is the NL Central. But in a stunning and unprecedented move, I'm going to go ahead and call this one for Chicago, mostly because of manager Lou Piniella's new, Zen-like approach to it all. More »
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We interrupt our ongoing coverage of HGH, cattle steroids, Bud Selig's befuddled countenance, the gyroball, Barry Bonds' expanding head, Roger Clemens' expanding waistline, Craig Biggio's farewell tour, Joba Chamberlain's welcome tour, Boof Bonser, Rally Squirrel, The Big Tilde, Stubby Clapp, Curt Schilling's blog, Alyssa Milano, Carlos Zambrano, Francisco Liriano, Sixto Lezcano, every player who has touched 'em all, Lasorda's sex swing, A-Rod and Derek's forbidden man-love, The Green Monster, the Gashouse Gorillas, Stupid Angelos, El Guapo, Coolerpants, and Rangers 30, Orioles 3, to bring you this special moment: Orlando Hernandez and his Mets' teammates at Shea Stadium wore FDNY hats as they played the Braves on Tuesday. The Blue Jays also observed the anniversary as they played host to the Yankees, a tribute to heroes on 9/11/07, who ran into burning buildings on 9/11/01 and never came out. More »
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Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't that be loverly? It's like the 49ers and Cardinals last night, where you ask yourself, um, who wants this? It's addition by attrition. Well, while you guys are working this out, I'll just go get a sandwich. More »
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Who was out at Shea yesterday for the big Pedro Lovefest '07? Faith and Fear in Flushing, for one, which is so giddy over their hero's return that they are declaring September the Mets' Second Spring. Pedro Martinez turned in his second strong outing following his return from the DL, lifting the Mets to a 4-1 win over the Astros on Sunday. More »
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After 100 years of futility, there was really no reason for the folks in the Wrigley bleachers to celebrate early. That's just inviting disaster, isn't it? Cubs fans have only themselves to blame for this one. Oh, and Ryan Dempster too, we suppose. Chicago, leading by a game in the NL Central and feeling pretty good about a 4-3 lead over the Dodgers heading into the ninth, watched its world crumble on Thursday after Andre Ethier's three-run, pinch-homer gave the Dodgers a 7-4 win. More »
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The two-home-runs-in-one-inning phenomenon, usually found only in Little League and the softball game at your company picnic, appeared at Yankee Sradium on Wednesday in the form of a limping, self-satisfied Alex Rodriguez. The two clouts in an eight-run seventh led New York over Seattle 10-2, effectively sounding the death knell for the Mariners' playoff chances. It was their 11th loss in 12 games (slide whistle sound effect here), dropping them three back of the Yankees in the wild card race. More »
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You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring if everyone discovers his secret identity. Prince Fielder wielding The Bat (And Stomach) Of Destiny. Aside from the Padres and Diamondbacks waltzing in the NL West, the Central is the only place to be right now. Plus, remember this guy? It's a nonstop party! More »
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And so we witness the brave veneer begin to crack in the Windy City. The Cubs are still in first in the NL Central — shouldn't that be cause for unbridled joy? — but you'd never know it. Carlos Zambrano had a stinky outing on Monday and was treated to a chorus of boos by the Wrigley unfaithful. Zambrano lost his fifth straight start, 11-3, to the Dodgers. And for Cubs fans, he had a cryptic message. More »
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Yeah, the Royals are pretty fucking terrible, but try to not let that diminish your appreciation of Scott Baker's masterful performance. A leadoff walk in the ninth inning spoiled the perfect game before a one-out single to pinch-hitter Mike Sweeney (but I thought Jesus loved no-hitters! Now I don't know what to believe...). Baker finished off Kansas City and picked up the one-hit shutout in a 5-0 Twins victory. On an unrelated note, Francisco Liriano's arm fell off. More »
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Sentence from the AP story on Philadelphia's 11-10 win over the Mets on Thursday: Fans chanted "Sweep! Sweep! Sweep!'' as they left the ballpark. One man held a broom he sneaked in. What kind of a world is it where a Philadelphia sports fan has to sneak a broom into Citizen's Bank? After winning four straight over the Mets to climb right back into the NL East race, the Phillies should be handing out #### brooms to the first 20,000 adult fans who enter the stadium, with miniature brooms for the kids and a wacky broom mascot entertaining the fans betwen innings with his charming broom-like antics. More »
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Roger Clemens — you may remember him — is back in the news, having been arrested in a Minnesota restroom for soliciting sex from an undercover ... whoa, sorry. Let's back up. I've made a painful error; let's start over. Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) threw six innings of two-hit ball against the Red Sox on Wednesday, the Yankees prevailing 4-3 in a win important to their playoff chances. More »
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In a world where the Milwaukee Brewers spent 125 days in first place, there was danger in the air for every Cubs fan. But a new wind was about to blow ... . Jacque Jones was once the object of ridicule and scorn at Wrigley Field; Cubs fans going from actively booing him to simply sitting on their hands whenever he appeared. Children would not meet his gaze; even dogs gave him a wide berth. But a new day has dawned, nonbeleivers. If you doubted him, you don't know Jacques. More »
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Well lookee here, the Padres have decided to make this interesting after all. Geoff Blum's two-run homer in the seventh and Jake Peavy's 11-strikeouts led San Diego to a 3-1 win over Arizona, cutting the Diamondbacks' lead in the West to two games. And since the teams play each other six more times within the next nine days, yeah, I'd say things are far from settled. More »
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We have just learned what David Wells had been doing between the time the Padres cut him on Augus 6 and he was signed by the Dodgers last week. He was surfing, according to him. Mitch Yost-like, no doubt, shooting the curl at Imperial Beach like a sleek seal. Come on Wells, you never once left The Beachcomber, did you? More »
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It doesn't appear that Dave Concepcion will make the Hall of Fame. Since his name appeared on the ballot in 1994, his support has ballooned from 6.8% to 13.6%. And he only has a couple of years left. When one looks at his numbers, they don't exactly resemble a Hall of Famer: career .267 batting average, nine-time All-Star, five Gold Gloves ... yeah, that's not a Hall of Famer. But that doesn't diminish his status in Cincinnati Reds history. On the 1976 championship team, Concepcion batted 8th (another case against the Hall). People who bat 8th, and play well, are lovable players. And that's why Cincinnati retired his No. 13 jersey last night before the Reds-Marlins game, which Cincinnati won 11-7. So don't take it personally, Reds fans. Concepcion isn't a Hall of Famer, but he was one hell of a shortstop, probably the best from the '70s. And he's yours. All yours. More »
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If you haven't yet noticed something different this weekend — that CFL mention should have tipped you off — it's that I'm bringing you Deadspin this weekend from the glorious city of St. John's, Newfoundland. This wouldn't be possible if the exchange rate on Deadspin posts wasn't so tempting. But in the past week I've been taking in sports coverage via TSN, which is Canada's take on ESPN, and gotten to know anchor Jennifer Hedger quite well. Predictably, they often lead off SportsCentre with the Toronto Blue Jays. (It's so cute, they think they're still in a Wild Card race). Their hopes to stay within reasonable distance of the wild card clubhouse leaders, the Mariners, took a setback as the LA Angels shut them out, 3-0. They're now 10 games out of a playoff spot. But they still believe! More »
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Yes, David Wells is now a Dodger. For in-depth analysis of this move, we of course go to Touch 'Em All, Alyssa Milano's comprehensive Dodgers blog. Hmm, nothing. Well, I should have guessed. (Those headbands do look nice, though). More »
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Little did you know that when you watched Maracaibo, Venezuela beat the Netherlands, 21-2 in the Little League World Series on Tuesday, that it wouldn't be the most embarrassing wipeout of week. Meet your 2007 Baltimore Orioles, who lost 30-3 to the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. For Texas, it was the first time in modern baseball history that a team has scored 30 runs; a total not achieved in the majors since 1897, when the Chicago Colts pounded the Louisville Colonels 36-7. More »
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So, you had tickets to the Angels game on Tuesday, but decided instead to go see Daddy Day Care. You foolish, foolish man.* You missed The Garret Anderson Carnival of the Unexplained, as our hero had 10 RBI ... yeah, 10 ... before 44,264 highly-caffeinated Angelistas, as the Angels blasted the Yankees 19-8. More »
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Going to Anaheim? Head over to the Angels game; it's a better bet than any of the Disneyland rides. Los Angeles / Anaheim / California is 41-17 at home, the best record in the majors, plus no annoying Alyssa Milano to complain about the starting lineup. Then there's rookie Ryan Budde, whose double in the 10th brought home the winning run in the Angels' 7-6 win over the Yankees. Rally Monkey approves. More »
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This will be your one and only Bert Blyleven update for this season, so pay attention. Blyleven, to my knowledge the only Minnesota Twins starting pitcher to have been born in Zeist, Netherlands, struck out 15 Oakland Athletics on Aug. 1, 1986; a Twins record. Or it was, until Johan Santana struck out 17 over eight innings in a 1-0 win over the Rangers on Sunday. More »
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