Dan Snyder hesitates at the top of the arc. "Ahhhhhh," he hisses, simulating the crowd noise of thousands of fans, all here to see Dan the Man land another rim-rattling slam. He fakes left, and drives to his right. A spin move in the paint! Then up, up goes Snyder, dunking the ball with authority on the seven-foot rim. "I'll never change my game," whispers Snider as he hangs from the hoop. "NEVER. You can use caps."
"Very good, sir," says Tony Wyllie, watching from the grass as Snyder takes the ball back up the completely empty court.
Via D.C. Sports Bog, the satellite photo on Google Maps shows a burgandy-and-gold court on Snyder's Potomac, Md., property. Interestingly, the Bing Maps bird's-eye view (presumably from older aerial imagery, since there are still trees along the river) shows a jungle gym on the site. Why does Dan Snyder hate children?