I’m just going to list some things the Knicks are doing.

  • The Knicks wanted to sign LaMarcus Aldridge.
  • But LaMarcus made them wait until last to meet with him.

  • They will see him tomorrow, maybe.
  • The Knicks think they can sign Greg Monroe, and met with him last night.
  • Monroe is a fine offensive player but will have to play alongside a 19-year-old who is very thin—and also Carmelo Anthony—and he is one of the worst defensive big men in the league.
  • The Knicks like his butt.
  • The Knicks would like to get Wes Matthews to play in the triangle, and presumably defend the perimeter. Wes Matthews is thinking it over while he recovers from a torn Achilles tendon, a bad injury for a guard.
  • The Knicks are meeting with Arron Afflalo tomorrow. Afflalo was a Portland Trail Blazer last year. He shot well from three and on spot-ups in general, but was well below average at every other facet of the game, per Synergy Sports.
  • The Knicks are expected to offer Afflalo “in the neighborhood of three years, $36 million-$38 million.”
  • The Knicks wanted to sign Danny Green, but they forgot to call him:

Sounds like Danny Green is hoping to meet with the Knicks soon as well, but may not be back from Brazil yet. The Knicks weren’t one of the teams to call him early on. I suspect Green is waiting for the Spurs to figure their other shit out before he has serious discussions with other teams, so said other teams may be waiting as well.

  • Danny signed with the Spurs this morning, for less than Thad Young makes now.
  • The Knicks did remember to call Patrick Beverley, who is bad.
  • They also called Corey Brewer, who is a 3-and-D guy who shot 26 percent from three last season, and currently is a backup plan for the Sacramento Kings.
  • They called Willie Green twice this morning before Danny Green signed with the Spurs.
  • The Knicks have reached out to Jeremy Lin, whom the Kings are also interested in signing.
  • The Kings, you will remember, were one of the teams jostling to draft Frank Kaminsky. They have been battling with the Knicks this whole offseason to get players who are in some demand. This is like when teams know that the Spurs or Rockets are interested in a player, and then try to get the same player because they know he will be good, except for a few minor differences.
  • The Knicks have reached out to Kendrick Perkins, who is a mop languishing in a bucket of dirty, fetid water.
  • The Knicks have reached out to Landry Fields, who is spending this offseason learning to shoot with his left hand.
  • (Landry Fields, who already shot like his parents made him do math problems in his head before he was allowed to release the shoot button, is learning to shoot with his non-dominant hand, because he forgot how to shoot and play in general.)
  • The Knicks are very interested in DeAndre Jordan, and their plan to sign him is to promise to make him the second option on offense, behind Carmelo Anthony.
  • DeAndre Jordan, you will remember, cannot shoot or pass or dribble, which are things that you do on offense.
  • DeAndre Jordan had a four-and-a-half-hour meeting with the Mavericks today, and has been out to dinner with Chandler Parsons for five nights in a row. (Five date rule, I guess.) Anyway, DeAndre’s meeting with the Knicks has not happened yet.
  • The Knicks thought they might sign DeMarre Carroll. They used to have another player named the Junkyard Dog.
  • The current JYD signed with the Raptors.
  • Phil Jackson thought that he might be able to sign Paul Millsap, because he is good at defense, rebounding, and passing, which are things the Knicks need.
  • Paul Millsap re-signed with the Hawks.
  • The Knicks are showing late interest in Derrick Williams, who is a poor shooter who also cannot rebound or pass.
  • The Knicks were interested in David West, who will be 35 when the season starts. Word was they wanted to sign him to a three-year contract. They were “very likely” to sign him just a few days ago.
  • David West said he doesn’t want to play for the Knicks, because they are bad and he is old, which honestly sounds like a good reason the Knicks should also consider.
  • The Knicks want to sign Robin Lopez too, and are planning on meeting with him.
  • Robin Lopez has reportedly met with the Bucks.*
  • Last season, Knicks traded Tyson Chandler away, in part because Phil Jackson was not sure he was a good fit for the triangle offense, and in part to dump Raymond Felton’s contract. He took back Samuel Dalembert, whom the Knicks waived for saying true things, and Jose Calderon.
  • Raymond Felton makes $4.5 million this season, the last year of his deal.
  • Jose Calderon makes $7.4 million this season, and $7.7 million next season.
  • Tyson Chandler signed with the Suns for four years and $52 million, because he is good.
  • The Knicks are interested in K.J. McDaniels, who could not hack it as a Philadelphia 76er.
  • Wayne Ellington and Caron Butler, too.
  • The Knicks are a team that does not have a draft pick next year, and are building around a 31-year-old with knee issues. They are on the clock, yet drafted a young stretch big—the riskiest phenotype in NBA prospects—and now need to plug a 90-pound 7-footer into an NBA defense that features Melo and probably Monroe, and has not ruled out bringing back Jason Smith and mother fucking Bargs.
  • The Knicks are just ignoring reality and the rules of the physical universe around them.
  • The Knicks are bullshit.

Photo via AP