Deadspin: Detroit Lions

Here's CNN Meteorologist Alexandra Steele's Forecast For Today's Chargers-Lions Playoff Game At Ford Field

Timothy Burke — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 19:23:15 EST

Consider how many people are involved in the production of a simple weather forecast on CNN. You have the meteorologist, for sure, but you also have the producer who loads the "wx" into the script/rundown, and the graphics techs who run the system that creates what you see on your screen. More »

NFL Wildcard Weekend Open Thread: Detroit Lions At New Orleans Saints

Sean Newell — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 20:00:00 EST

The fun continues with the rare prime time Saturday game. Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth shepherd us through another evening of football and hopefully will let us know what the penalty is for a sleeper hold. Five yards and loss of down? 10 yards and repeat of the down? Please, feel free to share the answer down below. More »

Lions Center On Packers Fans Who Might Moon Him: "They’re Not In Real Good Shape Up There"

Jack Dickey — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:40:01 EST

Says Dominic Raiola, after being asked about Packers fans who moon visiting teams' buses, "I get to the stadium too early. I don't see that. But that'd be pretty awesome to see. I don't know if I want to see any of those people naked. They're not in real good shape up there." More »

Most Of ESPN SportsNation Thinks NFC QB Matthew Stafford Is The AFC's Biggest Pro Bowl Snub (UPDATED)

Brian Hickey — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 22:15:00 EST

For more information, the ESPN SportsNation poll results are available via this link until someone — anyone — in Bristol, Conn. realizes that the Detroit Lions are, in fact, an NFC team. More »

Lions Fan Celebrating Team's Playoff-Clinching Victory Run Over By Bus

Timothy Burke — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 19:00:00 EST

A 21-year-old Detroit Lions fan is dead after running into open traffic and being struck by a city bus outside Ford Field. Here's the full report from Fox-2 Detroit; be sure to focus on how many times they use the phrase "by a bus." More »

Recalling The Time Bennie Blades Pulled A Bazooka Out Of His Car Trunk To Settle A Fight

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:55:00 EST

Here's a nice, terrifying memory from Lomas Brown—the former NFL player who now says things on ESPN for money—regarding his former Detroit teammate Bennie Blades. Brown told Dan Le Batard and Le Batard's father today that Blades was the "craziest teammate" he ever had, and then shared this special anecdote: More »

Ndamukong Suh Decides Image Isn't Tarnished Enough, Walks Out On Weekly Radio Interview

Timothy Burke — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 15:40:00 EST

Ndamukong Suh is returning from the suspension he earned with a Thanksgiving Day stomp, but he wasn't willing to talk about the aftermath (or his car accident) to Mike Valenti and Terry Foster during his weekly interview on 97.1 The Ticket, the Lions' flagship station in Detroit. More »

Thom Brennaman And Brian Billick Find Megatron's Possible Concussion Hilarious

Timothy Burke — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 14:41:07 EST

Lions WR Calvin Johnson was clearly shaken up after this reverse play in the first half of Detroit's matchup with Minnesota today, but not enough to avoid getting giggles from FOX's Thom Brennaman and Brian Billick, for whom possible concussions are the height of comedy. More »

Ndamukong Suh Crashes Car, Introduces America To Quipster Cop

Sean Newell — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 13:39:43 EST

Early Saturday morning in Portland, Ndamukong Suh lost control of his car (pictured), hitting a tree, a lightpole and a water fountain. Suh was presumably spending his two week Goodell-imposed vacation at home with his family. Or cruising around Portland's "night club district" in his muscle car at 1:15 a.m. As any sports fan over the age of 60 can tell you, nothing good happens that late at night. Well you, my friends, have not met Sgt. Peter Simpson of the Portland Police Bureau. More »

Every Football Player Is A Dirty Football Player

Drew Magary — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:20:00 EST

Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More »

Tony Scheffler Scored A Touchdown, Staged His Own Flash Mob

Dylan Murphy — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 10:05:19 EST

Your morning roundup for Nov. 21, the day we learned texting about having a quickie with Jesus Christ is illegal in Pakistan. Video courtesy Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

The Lions Had An Awful Lot Of Excuses About The Wind Yesterday

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:15:00 EST

You could chalk the Lions' embarrassing loss to Chicago up to many things. Turnovers, an inability to get the run game going, Matthew Stafford...but no matter how many things don't go your way, it remains all-but-impossible for an NFL team to win when the wind itself is a Bears fan. Here, some selected postgame quotes from both coach and QB. More »

A Brawl Broke Out In Chicago

Timothy Burke — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:30:28 EST

If you were watching the game, you saw this coming somewhere around the end of the first quarter, but the bitterness between the Bears and Lions finally came to a boil when a frustrated Matthew Stafford threw Bears defensive back D.J. Moore to the ground after tossing yet another interception, then faced Moore's retaliation—which Moore foolishly delivered right in front of the Lions' bench. [Fox] More »

Teams Should Probably Stop Punting To Devin Hester

Conor Hastings — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 17:57:38 EST

The Detroit Lions brought in a new punter this week and apparently no one gave him the memo that Devin Hester is really good at returning punts. Robert Malone made the mistake of kicking it in Hester's vicinity and, well, you can see what happens from there. More »

Nickelback Somehow Victorious In Nickelback v. The People Of Detroit

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:45:50 EST

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More than 50,000 people signed a Change.org petition to keep Nickelback from performing at the Lions' Thanksgiving Day game, and somehow, Nickelback still won. This absolutely has everything to do with 11/11/11. [CBS Detroit] More »

Detroit Lions Fans Are Next To Spearhead An Anti-Nickelback Campaign

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 12:40:00 EDT

It is nearly a proven fact by now that sports fans do not appreciate Nickelback disgracing their teams' venues with their loud, raspy wailing. The NHL made the mistake of announcing that the group would headline the Winnipeg Jets' home opener back in September, but organizers scrapped the plan—possibly thanks, at least in part, to the local campaign against the choice. More »

Watch Tim Tebow Get Tebowed By The Man Who Sacked Him

Timothy Burke — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 16:53:00 EDT

Here's Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch taking Tebowing meta, striking the pose over Tim Tebow's prone body after sacking the Broncos quarterback in the first quarter of their matchup in Denver. It's like he raised an already-tired meme from the dead. More »

Tim Tebow's Next Miracle? Giving Matthew Stafford A Neck

Sean Newell — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:00:00 EDT

From tipsters Gordon and Katrina, comes this snapshot of the Lions quarterback sans a few vertebrae. Stafford is gearing up for his showdown with the Broncos, but he may want to consider making a pre-game visit to the Chosen One. I'm pretty sure he knows a guy who's got a few spare parts he could use. More »

Men Whose Job It Is To Hurt Quarterbacks Chided For Being Happy When Quarterback Is Hurt

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:05:58 EDT

I get that Lions-Falcons was the closest thing to a matchup of two winning teams yesterday, and that both are likely to be vying for the same limited wild card slots, so we should have expected a competitive game, bordering on the chippy. But what we got—Matt Ryan getting his ankle rolled up, and two Lions linesman called out for gleefully bathing in a fountain of his blood—is really stretching the definition of "controversy." More »

That Jerome Harrison-Ronnie Brown Trade Was Voided Because Harrison Has A Brain Tumor

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:35:00 EDT

Awful news on why the trade-deadline deal between the Lions and Eagles could not be consummated yesterday. If there's a bright side, as Adam Schefter pointed out, Harrison's tumor might not have been found had the trade not been attempted. [PFT, via @AdamSchefter] More »

The Dumbest Thing About the NFL's Dumb Handshake Controversy

Josh Levin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 13:35:34 EDT

We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries. More »

Jim Harbaugh Was Still Fired Up After His Skirmish With Jim Schwartz Yesterday

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 15:10:00 EDT

Yesterday, 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh untucked his shirt, chest-bumped a lineman, and then shook hands with losing coach Jim Schwartz. Then he (allegedly) yelled "Fuck you!" or "Fuck yeah!" at Schwartz as he ran away and towards the tunnel, which is (allegedly) what set off the Lions coach and led to this awkward face-off between the two teams. More »

So, Yeah, The Big Lions Fan Put A Gun To His Head After Today's Loss

Brian Hickey — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 17:45:00 EDT

"Grab a gun. C'mon, let's get this over with," said that ~~weird~~ Big Lions Fan who had the whole Creedence thing going on during his post-game wrapup. He was kidding, and urged fellow Lions fans not to jump, while still brandishing his piece. Which was very nice of him. More »

Watch Jim Harbaugh And Jim Schwartz Almost Fight

Sean Newell — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:58:00 EDT

This pretty much speaks for itself. Harbaugh pulled the ol' Lift Up My Shirt In Exultant Victory And Exuberantly Slap Five With My Opponent. Schwartz wasn't feeling it. More »

Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game

Nate Jackson — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 16:35:54 EDT

DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the few who are, several of them are playing in this game—Tony and Jay Cutler, among them, the latter having been turned into the national punching bag by a lot of people who should know better. More »

Thanks For The Memories, Booty Lounge: We Bid Farewell To Detroit's Mobile Strip Club

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 18:31:33 EDT

The Booty Lounge, Detroit's mobile strip club that found its most loyal audience in the Lions' tailgating community, was booted from the premises near Ford Field during yesterday's festivities. More »

Lions And Zebras And Bears—Oh Crap

Tom Scocca — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:15:10 EDT

The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute

Conor Hastings — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 15:07:23 EDT

This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here. More »

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your Monday Night Football Open Thread

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 20:30:00 EDT

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Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water. More »

Big Lions Fan: Today's Victory Over The "Pathetic, Subpar" Cowboys Wasn't An Upset

Brian Hickey — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:30:00 EDT

From the looks of things, this fella here is so confident in his Detroit Lions's championship destiny that he's worked up a "Lions To The Super Bowl" report video intro heavy on Creedence. More »

Watch Calvin Johnson Make An Incredible Catch During The Lions Comeback Win Over Dallas

Conor Hastings — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 16:45:00 EDT

Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford didn't have any open receivers. That doesn't matter when you can throw an alley-oop in triple-covered Calvin Johnson's direction. More »

"We Were Packed In Like Sardines": Two Former Customers Review Detroit's Booty Bus

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:30:00 EDT

Soon after we learned about the Booty Lounge, the mobile strip club that's been idling near Detroit's Ford Field during every Lions tailgate for the past decade or so, we heard from a few former patrons. And after finding the priceless Yelp review from a former scorned freelancer for the club that you'll see below, we thought it would be wise to gather some more honest appraisals of the place—especially since its future is now in peril. More »

Detroit Police Will Investigate The Ford Field "Booty Bus" That Its Officers Have Informally Investigated For A Year

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 17:50:00 EDT

Detroit police are attending and also investigating the Booty Lounge, a mobile strip club that occupies a spot in a parking lot near Ford Field during Lions home games. The venue is a school bus that has been painted over in black and red paint, with the words "BOOTY LOUNGE" in silver letters on its side. Finally, right? A space for women at NFL games! More »

The One Where We're Offered A Tape Of Two NFL Players Humping A Teenage Puerto Rican Prostitute (AUDIO VERSION)

A.J. Daulerio — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 17:20:09 EDT

Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. More »

Feed Me To The Detroit Lions!

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 18:12:10 EDT

I Hope Andy Dalton's Head Was Worth $20K To Ndamukong Suh

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:20:25 EDT

Ndamukong Suh burst into the NFL by trying to wrench Jake Delhomme's skull from his torso, perhaps to keep on his mantel. Suh seems to be making a habit of thinning the mediocre QB herd in preseason, with this weekend's takedown of Cincinnati's Andy Dalton. More »

Some Rockets Are Just More Impressive Than Others

Dom Cosentino — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:27:43 EDT

Your morning roundup for Aug. 9, the day we decided not to bid on the Marilyn Monroe sex tape. H/T to Gordon for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Video Game Addict Quinn Pitcock Attempts Another NFL Comeback

Luke O'Brien — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 17:50:50 EDT

In 2007, the Indianapolis Colts drafted All-American defensive tackle Quinn Pitcock in the third round. But Pitcock retired after just one season in the NFL. His early exit had nothing to do with injury or drugs or guns. Well, actually it did have to do with guns. Pitcock, you see, was addicted to video games, and his poison of choice was the first-person shooter Call of Duty, which he played online with hordes of other gamers. More »

Joey Harrington Hit While On A Bicycle In Portland

Jack Dickey — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 14:10:59 EDT

Former Lions and Dolphins quarterback Joey Harrington has now reached the nadir of his Portland days. He was hit from behind while biking. More »

Nobody Wants To Be The Next Rex Ryan

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 19 May 2011 13:45:43 EDT

HBO's trying to pick a team to follow for this year's edition of "Hard Knocks," but between the uncertainty of the lockout and the sometimes unwanted publicity generated by recent shows, they can't find their franchise. The Broncos have made clear that they're not interested, and last week the Buccaneers turned the network down when approached. There's been interest around the country for the Lions to be featured, but they've already shot that down. More »