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I recently wrote a novel called "The Postmortal" in which a scientist discovers a way to stop the human body from aging. You can still die after taking this cure. You can get shot or get AIDS or whatever. But your age stays the same. In the book, people freeze their age at various points. Old people still around when the cure is invented freeze their age and become the perma-elderly. Sex workers take it or are forced to take it at a relatively young age to appeal to clientele. But many people are allowed to freeze their age at any point they see fit (the main character does so at 29). Which got me wondering: What would be the BEST age for you to freeze yourself? More »
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I went to a wedding this weekend and saw at least three bros (BRAH!) get iced. This retarded game needs to stop immediately. Right fucking now. More »
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I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying. More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5555684&view=rss&microfeed=true This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why. More »
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A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine. More »
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This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday. More »
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Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc. More »
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Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer. More »
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I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered. More »
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You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS! More »
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I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO! More »
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Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!! More »
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I hate buying gifts. I hate shopping for them, even online, which requires only that I click a mouse a few times, maybe fill out your address. NO TIME FOR THAT SHIT. More »
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Announcements have been unkind to you lately. They're either telling you someone has died, or that you're gonna get banned from commenting. Well here's an announcement I hope you find a bit more welcome. More »
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Your Deadcast guest this week is Hall of Famer Jim Brown (listen here). And holy shit, is that man intimidating. Except when talking about rollerskating around Venice Beach. More »
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Your Deadcast guest this week is Pulitzer Prize winner, author, and noted horsefucker Buzz Bissinger, and he's still got some f-bombs in his pocket. He was Artie Lange before Artie Lange was Artie Lange, you know. More »
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This week's Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard, who brings news that Bill Simmons will be making his guest host debut on "Pardon The Interruption" sometime this summer. Get that Larry Bird head-on-a-stick ready. More »
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You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will. More »
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Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend. More »
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This week's Deadcast guest is Selena Roberts, the author of A-Rod and columnist for SI. Did you know Selena is the daughter of hoboes? It's true! More »
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This is Balls Deep with Drew Magary. Read him at KSK. Buy his book. Follow him at Twitter. NSFW Inga after the jump. More »
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The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy. More »
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It's Week 4 of the Deadcast, and we continue our extremely slow progress into something barely resembling a polished, professional broadcast. Helping the cause this week is our guest. More »
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It's Week 2 of our little podcasting venture, and we have a GUEST! A real, actual person who agreed to talk with us! Stunning. More »
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There are two kind of podcasts out there. There's the Ricky Gervais podcast. Then there are the podcasts that are NOT the Ricky Gervais podcast. This will be one such podcast. More »
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Just a couple days after the Twitter police silenced the "Rick Rielly" we'd all come to know and love, the real Rick Reilly writes a column that's absurdly Rielly-esque. More »
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Drew Magary's column in Penthouse Magazine makes its online debut today here. The site's SFW. However, your work may or may not look kindly upon the Penthouse URL. DARE YOU TEMPT FATE, BRAVE SPINNER? More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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One of my favorite parts of any playoff season is when the mayors of the opposing cities playing make silly food-related bets on the game's outcome. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK. More »
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Drew's Jamboroo runs every Thursday afternoon. Buy his book here. Email Drew here. Read him at KSK here. More »
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Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. More »
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Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Ocho: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. This is a very special day for everyone in the Ocho Cinco household. And, as I do every year, I would like to take a moment to tell you the story of the very first Thanksgiving. Now, we all know that Thanksgiving is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday… More »
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Last year, we ran a Thanksgiving edition of the NFL Jamboroo the day before Thanksgiving. But we're gonna forgo that this year and run the Jamboroo early tomorrow morning. Why? Well, for one thing, there isn't fucking jack SHIT to do on Thanksgiving morning. You watch the parade for two minutes, you offer to help your mom cook even though you don't actually want to help, you set your fantasy lineup, you masturbate after sleeping in, then lay in bed for another fifteen minutes so you can masturbate a second time. It's a real black hole in an otherwise awesome day. More »
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Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available right now in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. No time for tiddlywinks, people. We've got leather bikinis and other shit to discuss. Let's dive right in to this week's slate of matchups. More »
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