Deadspin: Florida Marlins

Hanley Ramirez Loves Shopping For A Good Bargain

Jack Dickey — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:40:00 EDT

Reader Adam sent us this photo of him and Hanley Ramirez. They met at a Filene's Basement in Washington, D.C. last year. This is, of course, a perk of being in this line of work. You get to see photos people took with athletes they bumped into at discount department stores a year ago. Awesome. More »

Ozzie Guillen Will Appear On Baseball Tonight Throughout The World Series

Jack Dickey — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 13:05:00 EDT

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It dawns on me that we could play a game with two tentpoles of recent Chicago White Sox squads. We'll call the game "Guillen OR Pierzynski." Said the White Sox drink rally beer during games to get themselves going? (Pierzynski.) Went on a profane tirade after the White Sox lost to Bruce fucking Chen? (Guillen.) Got slapped by a Cubs catcher? (Pierzynski.) Kicked a Cubs catcher's mask while complaining? (Guillen.) More »

When Jack McKeon Managed Beer-And-Chicken-Lovin' Josh Beckett In Florida, He Locked The Clubhouse During Games

Jack Dickey — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 20:15:00 EDT

The Boston Globe story on the Red Sox's September collapse included a lot of semidamning revelations, among them that starters John Lackey, Josh Beckett, and Jon Lester ate fried chicken and drank beer while playing video games in the clubhouse during Sox games. Quelle dommage! Apparently Terry Francona lost control of the team because he was taking pain medication and fretting about his marriage. More »

The Marlins' New Ballpark Will Have A Light-Up Neon Home Run Structure That Will Blow Your Mind

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 15:30:00 EDT

The prevailing memory I have of the first major league baseball game I ever went to—a Sox game at Fenway in '94 or '95—is that our seats, which were not good seats at all, were in front of Boston's self-proclaimed "ex-wives club." This was exactly what it sounds like: a group of women who had formerly been married to Red Sox players, and were now divorced from Red Sox players, sat together and got drunk at spring Red Sox games. More »

Old Man Jack McKeon Will Retire After Wednesday's Game

Jack Dickey — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 16:40:00 EDT

Well, this half-season at the helm of the moribund Marlins was not what I had in mind when I was told about an all-expenses-paid vacation in South Florida, the 80-year-old manager thought to himself, shortly before notifying the Marlins brass of his resignation via telegraph. [Twitter] More »

Yes, The Marlins Let "Leo Nunez" Play For Several Months Even Though They Knew He Forged His Identity

Jack Dickey — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 17:50:00 EDT

"A person familiar with Nunez's immigration status told The Associated Press on Thursday that his real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, and he's 29, a year older than listed in the team media guide. The person also said the Marlins have been aware of the issue for several months." [AP, via ESPN] More »

Logan Morrison Would Like To Borrow Your Black Flag T-Shirt

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:15:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned live trees make great ancient bridges. Photo via @Jimmy Traina. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

The Marlins Went Ahead And Misspelled Logan Morrison's Name On The Jumbotron Tonight

Brian Hickey — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:05:00 EDT

The Florida Marlins claimed a paid attendance of 21,733 for tonight's 4-0 loss to the Atlanta Braves. They also spelled left fielder Logan Morrison's last name as "Morrsion" on the big board at the stadium. More »

Mike Stanton Hit The Ball About 900 Feet Last Night

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 10:30:00 EDT

The Marlins don't do distance estimates, so we'll never know precisely how dead Stanton killed the ball. But rest assured, he killed it very dead. More »

Meet The Miami Marlins (New Look! Same Slightly-Below-.500 Taste!)

Jack Dickey — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:40:00 EDT

Next year, the Florida Marlins will become the Miami Marlins. So, I guess, another hollywood as hell team to hate, then? More »

Some Phillies Fans Went To Miami And Interfered With The Marlins Right Fielder

Brian Hickey — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 16:45:00 EDT

This whole thing happened in the sixth inning of today's Phillies/Marlins game. Hunter Pence of the Phillies hit one to the right-field wall. It may or may not have hit that yellow stripe. We'll never know. More »

Watch As Clay Hensley Takes Out His Frustration On A Water Bucket

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 13:15:00 EDT

This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 09:40:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

With Zero Redeeming News Value, Here Are Some Glamour Shots Of Logan Morrison (And Ladyfriend)

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:55:00 EDT

There is a lesson in here somewhere, if you look hard enough. More »

There Were 347 Fans At That First Reds-Marlins Game Yesterday

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 09:30:00 EDT

"After the second game of the double-dip, the official attendance number was 22,505, but don't try convincing one of the few actually at the game in person." Like the guy who actually counted them all by hand. [@790Justin, via NYDN] More »

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory

Jack Dickey — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 16:30:32 EDT

Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast. More »

Cubs And Marlins Do Their Best To Out-Lowlight One Another

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 11:25:30 EDT

The Cubs blew a 3 2-0 lead against the Marlins last night in a ninth inning that saw Chicago closer Carlos Marmol booed off the mound by the friendly hometown crowd. The hurt started with this Greg Dobbs hit to right field, which — despite Dewayne Wise's unprovoked face-plant as he headed toward home — brought in three Marlins runners thanks to a Chicago error. For the first time in Houston this season, Brad Mills has reason for a smug smile. More »

The Marlins Give Up

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 11:15:11 EDT

Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium? More »

Jack McKeon Thinks He Can Silence Logan "Twitter" Morrison; So Far, He Has Not

Jack Dickey — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 15:40:00 EDT

On Saturday, Trader Jack benched Twitter-happy outfielder Logan Morrison, who's hit .189 in June. McKeon said he would try "something different. Give 'Twitter' a rest." McKeon once thought "Twitter" was Morrison's dog. Now it's just a chiding nickname. More »

This Is How You Lose A Game On An Intentional Walk

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 10:40:00 EDT

This is also how you raise your 80-year-old manager's already-high blood pressure. Steve Cishek's wild pitch in the tenth inning last night sent home the winning run, and was so far off target that we can only chalk it up to ghosts. More »

The Most Haunted Hotel In Baseball Claims Another Team

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 11:50:00 EDT

On a road trip to play the Rays, a pair of Marlins got spooked at a creaky old St. Pete hotel. One reliever heard noises and crapped himself; another refused to even step foot on the premises. More »

Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 12:35:07 EDT

And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess. More »

Old Man Jack McKeon Pulls Reliever In The Middle Of An At-Bat

Jack Dickey — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 22:12:20 EDT

Randy Choate started the eighth for Florida tonight: He walked Bobby Abreu on six pitches, then went to 2-1 on Alberto Callaspo. That's it, new 80-year-old sheriff in town Jack McKeon decided, and he pulled Choate for Burke Badenhop. More »

Old Man McKeon Has Already Benched Hanley Ramirez For Showing Up Late

Jack Dickey — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:30:00 EDT

Because the specials at the Bob Evans in Hialeah end at 4:30, and, well, you know. [Palm Beach Post] More »

Every Manager Whose Career Began After And Ended Before Jack McKeon's

David Roher — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:30:20 EDT

Jack McKeon will likely be named interim manager of the Marlins, making him the oldest skipper in baseball by 14 years. McKeon broke into pro baseball in 1949, the same year as Mickey Mantle, and debuted as a major league manager in 1973, as did Whitey Herzog. Of the 671 managers in major league history, 157 of them had careers that started after and ended before McKeon's (provided he gets the job). Via Baseball-Reference, here are those managers, along with the number of games they managed. More »

Marlins President Talks About His Penis Pump, Porn, Being Careful About What You Say On Twitter

David Roher — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 12:00:00 EDT

Logan Morrison is one of baseball's most prolific tweeters, and some of his vaguely salacious tweets have landed him in vaguely hot water with management. David Samson, Marlins President, had this to say: More »

Buster Posey's Foot Bent The Wrong Way After A Home Plate Collision Last Night

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 26 May 2011 11:15:00 EDT

Scott Cousins sealed a Marlins win in the 12th inning last night, by way of a full-force collision with Giants catcher Buster Posey at home plate. The tackle left Posey with a serious leg injury (in the last second-to-last angle here, especially, you can see his right ankle bend in such a way that it looks like he's attempting to stand on his toes, only his body is horizontal), and he'll have MRI results on Thursday. More »

You Can Usually Spot The Season Ticket Holders

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 10 May 2011 11:05:21 EDT

[via StripClubWithStanton, h/t Smoot] More »

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Charlie Sheen Infiltrated The Florida Marlins

Brian Hickey — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 16:00:00 EDT

Someday, athletes are going to stop posing with Charlie Sheen, or at least stop hash-tagging their Sheen shots with references to #tigerblood. Today is not that day. So, thanks for that Logan Morrison. More »

The Florida Marlins Will Try To Take Soldiers' Minds Off All Those Bullets Flying At Them

Brian Hickey — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 14:15:00 EST

[Ed note: Yeah, that pic might could actually be Val Kilmer, but I'm of the mind that Wes Helms and Kilmer share the same soul after looking at it for a good long while.] More »

Oh, Fuck Off, Logan Morrison (Update)

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 15:10:36 EDT

We generally like the Marlins outfielder. His Twitter account is refreshingly honest, and he's great at interacting with fans. But his misguided attempt to play the "I'm just an average joe" card failed, hard. More »

Double Buckner: What Does It Mean?

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 14:50:00 EDT

Here's Gaby Sanchez, and then Dan Uggla exposing their five-holes on the same play. "Good times out there tonight," Uggla joked. Maybe baseball doesn't belong in Florida. More »

Florida Marlins Rookie Hazing Takes Uncomfortable, Fake Pube-y Turn

David Matthews — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 13:15:00 EDT

The Marlins took part in baseball's long-held tradition of dressing rookies as women recently, and no one was more up to the task than Logan Morrison who dressed as Angie Everhart—who research shows was never on Baywatch. What an idiot. [Last Angry Fan] More »

Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:45:56 EDT

A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com] More »

Everyone Still Really Pissed At The Marlins

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:45:15 EDT

The outrage over the Marlins and all that money they pretended not to be making continues unabated. Meanwhile, it has occurred to Dan Le Batard that a businessman might be both good at his job and an unscrupulous shit. More »

Miami Mayor Joins The Marlins Pile-On

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:26:50 EDT

Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado, citing those Marlins' financial statements that show what the city probably should've known already, now would prefer not to spend $100 million of the public's money on a boondoggly parking garage for the team's boondoggly new stadium. More »

Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:10:02 EDT

By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy. More »

MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 10:00:13 EDT

We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era. More »

Last Night's Winner: The Case For Robot Umpires

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 09:30:00 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fallibility of man, or at least of third base umpire Bob Davidson, whose blown call cost the Marlins the game. More »