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Imagine if the events surrounding 1988 Jamaican bobsled team that inspired the film Cool Runnings happened today, in the age of the internet and 24-hour sports coverage. Now imagine one of those athletes, by pure chance, had been named Calvin Klein. And after his emergence on the international scene, he became a spokesman for the manufacturer—the perfect convergence of media hype and corporate synergy. More »
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Fans of the German indoor soccer team St. Pauli—perhaps after imbibing too many of a beverage hawked by local Fräuleins—brawled with spectators and Hamburg police, bringing a premature end to the Schweinske Cup tournament. More »
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For a German TV show, the two hosts planned to strap on their homemade armor and face the wrath of a full-ice body check at intermission of a Eisbären Berlin game. After seeing what happened to the first test subject, the second host decided that one was enough. More »
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Scoreless soccer games can be terribly boring. Like any long car ride, though, there are distractions for the monotony: songs, chants, popcorn, beer, "the wave"—and also, sex in public. More »
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This may or may not be a good thing for women's sports: More »
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We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original. More »
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Two hundred women applied but just 25 made the first cut. From there, the Hamburg Chamber of Trade will whittle down the list to determine who has what it takes to represent not only a nation, but a way of life, in the 2012 German Farm Girls Calendar. More »
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A German (of course) AIDS awareness organization has released COCK OUT, in which players slip on a motion-sensing digital condom and use their thrusts to pummel a virtual HIV. More »
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Best we can tell, this is from the third level of the German pro basketball system, and that's University of Dayton grad Marcus Johnson going all Tom Chambers on some poor schmo. All 35 fans were thrilled. More »
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Any story that describes its protagonist and/or antagonist as a "52-year-old who sports an Adolf Hitler-style moustache and a mullet" and "master chimney sweep," but isn't about pre-haircut Bill Cowher, is worthy of closer inspection. More »
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As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey. More »
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The battle for bronze is here. Can Uruguay salvage a modicum of dignity for South America—and alternately taunt Brazil and Argentina—or will Ze Germans prove too, too hot to handle? Stay in the know and comment along. More »
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Many are calling this "the real championship game" or something along those lines. I don't know though. Germany's been dominant (save that troublesome loss to Serbia) while Spain has looked ... lucky? Competent? Which side wins out? Comment as you watch, please. More »
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Paul the octopus is 5-0 in picking winners in Germany's matches, and the world has been waiting for his semifinal selection. Unfortunately, there's tomfoolery afoot. More »
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This one could be a classic. The Germans have exploded for four goals twice already, and Argentina might be the most talented squad around. Talk about it. More »
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Paul, the Berlin octopus has correctly predicted every German match so far, and he's picking them over Argentina. Sayco, the Argentine dolphin, thinks otherwise. Gentlemen, choose your slimy undersea prognosticators. More »
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First a man pummels a police officer with a vuvuzela. Then a US Army employee stationed in Germany threatens to kill his neighbors with an ax if they don't stop blowing those damn horns. Something's got to give. More »
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I'm sure you've seen it by now: a purported screenshot from "Nigeria and Germany's World Cup game" that, thanks to some poorly placed country abbreviations, spells out a pretty vile epithet. It's so, so fake, for so many obvious reasons. More »
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Ghana needs a draw the guarantee advancing. Ironically, the safest bet for Germany is to play for a win and let the rest sort itself out. Follow along and say your favorite thing about both country in the comments. More »
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No team looked better in its first game than Germany. The Serbians, on the other hand, did not impress and will be all but eliminated if they lose today. Comment and make World War I jokes below. More »
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The Ballack-less Mannschaft take on the adorably named Socceroos. Precision and efficiency or laid-back and hilarious accents, take your pick. More »
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Bochum football club was relegated from the Bundesliga this weekend, so their fans responded in the only sensible way—storming the pitch and attacking players and managers with stones, cans and seats. Now that's a fan appreciation day. [TheLocal.de] More »
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Boxing's inconsistent drug policies have thus far deprived us of the fight everyone wants. But a German TV station has taken the initiative and mandated that all of its fights will use the strictest testing standards. Could this work here? More »
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Germany has finally recognized the national high jump record that was taken away from Margaret Bergmann Lambert in 1936 because she was Jewish. Oh, and sorry about the whole "trying to wipe out your entire race" thing, too. [NYPost] More »
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A German footballer gets in trouble for turning his goal celebration into an advertisement for Red Bull. Because advertising should only be done on jerseys, shoes, balls, fields, seats, every available blank space... [The Spoiler] More »
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Getting things shaved into the side or back of your head has become popular again. 1985 rules! First black basketball players brought it back and now it's crossed over to white basketball players. Albeit German ones. Nowitzki's new 'do is appropriate considering he'll be the flag-bearer for Germany at the opening game ceremonies. More »
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Fernando Torres is owning shit so far and Spain could be running away with this thing if Torres' first big opportunity didn't go off the goalpost. Jens Lehmann looks overmatched, which is a shocker, and right now Germany's best chances are coming on ticky tack free kicks. More »
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It looks like German captain Michael Ballack is going to be playing after all, thought most of the pundits have him pegged at about 75 percent at best. David Villa remains out for Spain, which means Cesc Fabregas will probably have to come up big like he did against Russia for the Spaniards to capture their first Euro title in 44 years. More »
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Last year, MJD told you about the special World Cup vibrators named after German "stars" Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn, which promised to make women feel "'like you've won the world cup of sex," which hopefully doesn't involve a head butt. More »
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If you're a cop, there probably aren't many things that could happen to you that would be less terrifying than 800 German soccer fans uniting to attack you. That's what a few cops experienced yesterday after a match between Erzgebirge Aue II and Lokomotive Leipzig. More »
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David Hirshey is writing regularly throughout the World Cup. More »
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Forget the match-fixing scandal and apparent suicide attempt of former beloved defender Gianluca Pessotto that were going to be such huge distractions that Italy would retreat into its mournful defensive shell and not come out until they had to board the plane to go home. As anyone who has glimpsed those glossy Chippendales-esque ads of Zambrutta, Gattusso and company surely attest, the Azzuri haven't been this oiled up and ready to party since '82, when they de-pantsed the Germans in the final in Madrid. Did I mention I was there, sitting with my Dad in the mean heart of the Deutschland end, waving an Italian flag, shouting Forza Italia, and hoping the Germans had a sense of humor? More »
]]> http://deadspin.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=184967&view=rss&microfeed=true First, we formally say goodbye to our British brethen with this video. It makes me kind of miss them already, and I wasn't even rooting for them. More »
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Hey, many many thanks to all those who sent in their thoughts on the World Cup semifinals, to which Spain is not invited. Here are some of the finer selections. More »
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And, at last, after a whole two days without soccer, the quarterfinals have begun, in what we think is probably the best quarterfinal matchup of all. The Argentinians have often looked like the best team here, but the Germans, you know, they're hosting, and they've looked doggone good themselves. Doggone good. You see. More »
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David Hirshey is writing throughout the World Cup. More »
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Today begins the World Cup knockout round, where a ton of different clichés apply: Do or die, there's no tomorrow, win or go home, don't take any wooden nickels, etc. Only sixteen of the world's teams are privileged enough to be here. More »
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Ecuador has been one of the more pleasant stories of the tournament, upsetting Poland and cruising past Costa Rica in their first two games. This is, obviously, the real test, with the Ecuadorians facing host Germany. The winner takes the top seed out of Group A, and if there's a draw, it's good news for Ecuador, which has the 5-0 goal differential advantage going in. More »
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David Hirshey will write regularly during the World Cup. More »
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This is a key second game for each of these teams, with Germany needing a win to nail down a Round of 16 appearance and Poland needing a win (or at least a draw) just to have a chance. It's a good thing, too, because there's no obvious historic link between the two countries that would otherwise add to the intrigue. More »
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