Cheap Fireworks, Ranked

When I was growing up, my friend Tony and I used to sneak around his neighborhood at night, light entire packs of Black Cats, stuff them into mailboxes, and then run away. It was AWESOME. One time, someone shined a flashlight on us and I believed with all of my heart that it was a SWAT team coming to shoot us down. When we managed to get away, I felt like I had just robbed a bank. When I get really old, I'm gonna get shitfaced and commit more acts of random, horrible vandalism. I don't think I've ever been more excited in my life, not even when touching a boob.

So, with that in mind, here are the greatest cheap fireworks to set off for your Fourth of July shindig...

1. M80/Cherry Bomb (both now banned)
2. Bottle Rocket
3. Black Cat (entire pack lit at once)
4. Spinner
5. Roman Candle
6. Fountain
7. Snake
8. Whippersnapper

[...]

4,798. Sparkler