Dead Letters: "If I Was Your Boss I'd Fire Your Sorry Ass"SWelcome back to Dead Letters, the feature in which we reprint our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Deadspin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.

Subject: Jordan Baker

From: Michael Gumbs
To: Jack Dickey

Jack Dickey,

Listen clearly-you're a piece of shit and your story on the umpire Jordan Baker was trash. If I was your boss I'd fire your sorry ass. Jordan Baker will be in the big's for years to come and you will probably not even be a writer in a few years...you'll be reduced to a shitty blog, sitting in your moms basement digging up trash. You dont even know anything about him yet you call him a wierdo and say that he cant make calls...do you watch baseball everyday? I know you dont you scumbag!

I wish you nothing but the very worst from here on out. You arent a journalist...youre just a fucking waste of life.

Michael

Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

Subject: fuck you Belichick

From: bostonbadass
To: Drew Magary

you really are a DICK HEAD.

money says he probly never makes the team.

Another patriot HATER LOOSER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Subject: Editor

From: Colin Gilbert
To: Tommy Craggs

I'm curious if you are interested in a postion in janitorial services. Clearly, you are used to handling shit all day long. Editor. Ha. That is a hilarious title. I imagine its more like "Day Care Supervisor" for the knuckleheads around you who probably consider themsevles writers.

"Hey, Boss. I have a youbtube clip of some poor people fighting and a nine word write up. Can you edit this for me?"

Idiot Blogger - "Hey craggs, did you edit Drew's new non-zombie book?"
Craggs - "No, I haven't even read it.
Idiot Blogger - "Me neither."

Get a life.

Regards,
Zorro

Subject: Hey

From: Matt Seelinger
To: The Staff

You guys suck!

Matthew J. Seelinger

Subject: Re: Write us!

From: hg fdf
To: The Staff

Put the lotion in the basket.

Subject: tip

From: Steve Sasssmith
To: The Staff

here's a tip: stop asking people to do your work for you.

i suspect you're splashing that everyday because the tips have begun to dry up. ya'll are lazy as fuck at your easy ass job, and goodwill, my dear friends, surely has its limits

[Ed. note: We love reader mail. It powers features like this one! We post those blips with some regularity because the redesign makes it much harder for readers to find our email addresses or the tips line. Speaking of the redesign ...]

Subject: Your site stinks

From: Gabe Maciolek
To: The Staff, Gabe's friends

I used to log onto your site a dozen times a day. Now with the new format, that was cut in half. Now that I discovered barstool, I log on maybe once a day. Way to go morons. Way to ruin a great thing. Discuss.

Sent from my iPhone

[Ed. note: You may remember our correspondent from such emails as "Deadspin blows."]

Subject: Thank you

From: Gabe Maciolek
To: The Staff

....For letting me log onto barstool. Blows your newly formatted website out of the water. Discuss...

Sent from my iPhone

From: Tommy Craggs
To: Gabe Maciolek, The Staff

=(

From: Gabe Maciolek
To: Tommy Craggs, The Staff

Seriously though, all these soccer updates??? The articles that you keep at the top of the page for days that nobody cares about??? Be honest, you know you're getting more complaints now then ever, right? Your new format really sucks. And please, the simple picture with the discuss option, how many people actually discuss that? Or even click the topic???

Sent from my iPhone

Subject: Order

From: David Holder
To: The Staff

To whom it may concern ,

My name is Mr David Holder and i am in contact with you regarding ( Horse Chain ) , can you kindly get back to me with some types you have and the price for each . Do you accept credit card as a form of payment .

Waiting for your prompt reply .

Mr David Holder

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