Deadspin: Houston Astros

ESPN Combines Pirates And Astros Into Something "Other" That Might As Well Give Up

Dom Cosentino — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:15:01 EST

It's one thing to have no chance. Quite another to not even have the chance to show the world you have no chance. ESPN has since made a correction, but they probably had it right the first time. [HardballTalk] More »

ESPN's Keith Law Interviewed For A Job In The Astros' Front Office

Jack Dickey — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 13:05:20 EST

According to the estimable Ken Rosenthal, Keith Law of ESPN—last seen around these parts ragging on Moneyball—interviewed with the Houston Astros for a position (Rosenthal mentions scouting director) in their front office. Law just tweeted, "My day just got a lot more interesting." More »

"The Eighth Wonder Of The World Essentially Crumbling Before Our Eyes": What Happens When Teams Leave Their Stadiums

Jack Dickey — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 16:00:00 EST

Ryan Holeywell at Governing.com decided to check in on Houston's Astrodome, which has become a blighted mess: More »

For The 2013 Season, The Astros Will Go To The AL West And Basically Everyone Will Go To The Playoffs

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:05:00 EST

MLB's owners unanimously approved the sale of the Houston Astros from Drayton McLane to Jim Crane today, and included a $65 million price cut in the deal. The Astros will leave the NL Central and join the AL West for the 2013 season, and, to the relief of symmetricists everywhere, each league will have 15 teams. More »

Waitress Says Minor Leaguer Groped Her, Actually Said "Do You Know Who I Am? I Play For The ValleyCats"

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 13:00:59 EDT

Right, maybe we have glorified athletes too much in this country when a Short-Season A ballplayer feels empowered enough to pull the old "Do you know who am?" That's what one member of the Tri-City ValleyCats (a Houston Astros affiliate) allegedly told a waitress after grabbing her chest and behind at an Albany bar, before getting into a fight with a bouncer. More »

Astros Outfielder Arrested For Allegedly Smoking Weed In Front Of A Cop

Brian Hickey — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 23:00:00 EDT

In 30 games as the Houston Astros centerfielder this season, Jordan Schafer hit .245 with one home run and six RBI. In one night as the driver of a 2008 Land Rover in Tampa yesterday, Schafer hit one joint and kept additional marijuana "in a plastic container and in three peanut butter cups." More »

PNC Park's Acoustics Are So Good That You Can Hear A Home Run Hit The Empty Bleachers

Brian Hickey — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:30:00 EDT

In tonight's epic showdown between the Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates, Carlos Lee hit a two-run dinger in the top of the first. What tipster Trey A. pointed out was that "I've never heard a HR hit the outfield bleachers before. But yet again, I've never watched a Pirates game." More »

Astros Announcer Pauses, Reflects, Remains Completely Baffled By The Foreign Concept Of Reggaeton

Jack Dickey — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 00:38:00 EDT

We will admit that we didn't really expect the broadcasters of the NL Central's most insipid ballclub to be familiar with the collected works of reggaeton superstars Don Omar or Daddy Yankee. (Though, come to think of it, "Dame Mas Gasolina" describes Octavio Dotel's career well.) More »

This Young Astros Fan Was Not Bashful About Flipping The Reds Off Last Night

Brian Hickey — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 22:00:00 EDT

The Houston Astros averted their 75th loss of the season last night in no small part because of some leftfielder named J.D. Martinez's two-RBI double to left in the seventh. This was an overwhelmingly awesome moment for one excitable boy fan who flipped a double bird. More »

The First Rounder Who'd Rather Play For The Long Island Ducks Than Sign With The Astros

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:05:53 EDT

The Astros are high on UConn outfielder George Springer, who they took last month with the 11th overall pick. How high? He's got some wondering if Hunter Pence isn't now expendable. But the deadline to agree to terms is August 15th, and Springer spent his weekend on Long Island, meeting with the GM of the independent league Ducks. More »

Hockey Player Misses Five Minutes Of Game Time With Broken Face, Returns In Time For Season-Losing Goal

Brian Hickey — Sat, 28 May 2011 09:45:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for May 29, the day after death told the world that the puffy-faced Grandma Bandit was actually a man. More »

George H.W. Bush Quiets Any Excitement Anyone Was Able To Muster For MLB All-Star Game

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 18 May 2011 11:05:00 EDT

This may also mark the first time in H.W.'s 86 years on earth that he has uttered the phrase "dot-com." Go, Astros. More »

Here's Video Of A Field-Hopping Fan Eluding Astros Security

Brian Hickey — Sat, 14 May 2011 13:45:00 EDT

What's being dubbed "The Great Fan Escape" went down in the bottom of the ninth inning as Houston Astro Carlos Lee was trying to tie the game against the Mets. Both Lee and on-field security charged with keeping the Minute Maid Park field invader-free failed to do so. More »

NYDN: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."

Jack Dickey — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 12:10:00 EDT

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New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck. More »

The Good, The Bad, And The Doughnuts

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 12:00:00 EDT

Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts. More »

Soccer Mistress Is Not Gonna Be Ignored

Brian Hickey — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 09:00:00 EST

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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Chivalry Is Dead: Man Ducks Foul Ball Before It Hits Girlfriend

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 10:30:00 EDT

You've got three options when confronted with a liner: catch it, protect your seatmates, or dive for cover as it ricochets off the woman you love. Astros fan Bo chose that last one. More »

Houston Astros: The Charming Incompetence Of Ed Wade

Will Leitch — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:20:15 EST

Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Houston Astros. More »

Shawn Chacon Even Worse At Gambling Than He Was At Pitching

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:45:00 EDT

Las Vegas authorities have issued an arrest warrant for former Astro Shawn Chacon, after he allegedly passed $150,000 worth of bad checks at Caesar's Palace. Even worse, he always tries to split face cards. [Las Vegas Sun] More »

Houston Astros Fire Their "Manager"

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:00:19 EDT

With 13 games to go in their dismal season, the Astros—an alleged "base ball" team from Houston—have fired manager Cecil Cooper. In other news, Cecil Cooper was apparently managing the Astros this season! [Houston Chronicle] More »

Aaron Boone Plays Baseball, Heart Doesn't Explode

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:15:07 EDT

The guy had open heart surgery in March, but was in the lineup for the Astros yesterday. Oh-for-3, but he did make a nifty play in the field. And his aorta is still intact, so that's a plus. [MLB.com] More »

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:54:35 EDT

Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News] More »

Nationals And Pirates Combine To Make Pretty Decent Baseball Team

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:18 EDT

Houston and Washington had some unfinished business yesterday, wrapping up a suspended game that took two months, two cities and three teams to complete. And the winning pitcher got the decision while taking a nap in Philadelphia. More »

Gentle, Velvety Hammer Of Justice Falls In Miguel Tejada Steroids Case

Rick Chandler — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:20:55 EDT

Astros star gets one year's probation, $5,000 fine for "misleading congress." Wait a minute; don't they do that to each other every minute they're in session? [San Francisco Chronicle] More »

The Houston Astros Politely Reject Bud Selig's Apology

Marcel Mutoni — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:30:00 EDT

When Hurricane Ike rained on the party inside Minute Maid Park in Houston last weekend, Bud Selig infamously made the Astros play two games at a "neutral site", Milwaukee's Miller Park. As you can imagine, this was not well received in the Astros' clubhouse. More »

Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling

Enrico Campitelli Jr. — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 10:30:38 EDT

The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three weeks but this turn of events may finally cool them off. Not only does Houston have to deal with a major catastrophe but to pile it on a bit more they have to play as the “home” team less than a 90 minute drive from Chicago. More »

No Way Will The Cubs Blow It This Time ... Uh Oh

Rick Chandler — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:15:58 EDT

Time to worry: When your team has lost four straight at home during the stretch run of the division race. Time to really worry: When your manager says "If he can pitch, he'll pitch. If he can't, we'll put Sean Marshall in the rotation." Those words of wisdom were spoken by Lou Piniella, after Carlos Zambrano bailed after five innings due to arm problems in Chicago's 9-7 loss to the Astros in 11 innings. Piniella's words join "I dare anyone to cross this mighty Maginot line" and "I see no way that blimp travel fails to catch on" as inspirational benchmarks. More »

Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work

Rick Chandler — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:30:52 EDT

Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfortunate incident in which he accidentally choked general manager Ed Wade and threw him to the ground in front of dozens of witnesses. Allegedly. Yankees? Your move. More »

Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face

Will Leitch — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 10:40:49 EDT

You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that. More »

Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids

Leitch — Mon, 05 May 2008 15:00:32 EDT

We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy. More »

ESPN Plays "To Catch A Predator"

Leitch — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:40:30 EDT

How you react to E:60's "Gotcha!" report on Miguel Tejada's age, we've found, depends a lot on whether or not you're a journalist. More »

It Is Not Wise To Anger Albert Pujols

rickchand — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 10:40:13 EDT

Now this is what you like to see. Albert Pujols, immersed in controversy, steaming mad and clouting homers. The Cardinals ripping up the NL Central despite preseason predictions of Epic Fail. Tony La Russa, legally sober according to state law. On Wednesday, Pujols — perhaps angered by this post — exited his slump by blasting two homers as the Cardinals beat Houston 6-4 to win their third straight series. He's The Big Poo! More »

Your NL Central "Preview"

Leitch — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:01:20 EDT

OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site. More »

Baseball Season Preview: Houston Astros

Leitch — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:35:23 EST

For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all. More »

The Other Shoe Drops In Clemens Case

rickchand — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:29:46 EST

I guess the lesson is that you don't come into Henry Waxman's house talking smack. Just hours after Congress recommended that Roger Clemens' testimony be examined by the Justice Department, the FBI announced that it has begun investigating whether the pitcher lied to Congress when he denied taking steroids. More »

Congress Decides That It's Time ... For The Comfy Chair!

rickchand — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:05:18 EST

I know that this isn't the favorite part of your day, but it must be done: Here's your Roger Clemens update. Noting direct contradictions in testimony given by Clemens to a congressional committee in a private hearing on Feb. 5 and at a public hearing on Feb. 13 regarding steroids, congressional leaders have asked the Justice Department to consider a possible perjury investigation. Henry Waxman (tenting fingers): "Release the hounds!" More »

Miguel Tejada was traded to the ... Astros?...

Leitch — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:00:33 EST

Miguel Tejada was traded to the ... Astros? We wouldn't have expected that. [Baltimore Sun] More »

Please Keep Roger Clemens At The Forefront Of Your Brain

Leitch — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 17:05:46 EST

One would have thought, after that "ow, my hamstring, I have to LEAVE!" display by Roger Clemens in the ALDS last month, the "Rocket," as they call him, would finally realize it's better to leave well enough alone. But no: Even though he's happy to take that "services contract" from the Astros — one they surely regret already, by the way — his agent is still flogging the idea that he'll play again. More »

Our own Whitney Pastorek wrote a great piece...

Leitch — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:19:52 EDT

Our own Whitney Pastorek wrote a great piece about Craig Biggio's last weekend as an Astro. [SI.com] More »