So the Super™ Bowl® is here, and that means some sucker—maybe even you!—will be hosting a Super™ Bowl® party which they will feel weirdly obligated to refer to as a "Big Game" party, because the NFL likes to sue people for liking it. You will have to bring something to this shindig—especially if you are hosting it!—as that is the agreed-upon social cost of the privilege of watching 63 hours of overproduced commercials, lipsynched Katy Perry performances, and football players standing around, interspersed with maybe four or five minutes of actual sports action, in the company of your friends and loved ones.
What will you bring to this thing? Your winning smile and bare-minimum fulfillment of standard personal hygiene practices will not cut it. Nor will a two-liter bottle of grape soda. No! You must produce greasy, meaty food. Below you'll find links to instructions for preparing some of the kinds of greasy, meaty food people like to eat at their Super™ Bowl® parties. Pick one, cook it, and bring it, and people will be glad you're there.