Here's A Guy With Two Fully Functional Penises (NSFW)

2014 is one damn day old, and Reddit might have the scoop of the year. A redditor going by DoubleDickDude went ahead and answered a question every man has pondered: What if you had two dicks? Apparently, it's pretty great. (Yes, there is a photo.)

Since it's why you're here, here's the link to the photo. NSFW, obviously. In the AMA, the guy says that they are more symmetrical than they appear in the photo. Even if they weren't, holy shit, everyone, everyone must go into this thinking that one's going to be a tiny baby phallus off to the side. But, nope, he apparently has a condition known as diphallia, or duplication of the penis.

According to a 2006 newspaper report, since scrubbed from Reuters, there have been about 100 cases of this worldwide, with an occurrence of about 1 in 5.5 million American men. The redditor in question claims that he ejaculates and urinates out of both simultaneously, and we can't find any literature to prove otherwise. We don't know if this is a hoax, but frankly, that photo is rather compelling, as are the others in the original thread that started this and the one of him mostly erect (again, extremely NSFW, obviously), and the DoubleDickDude has been forthright throughout, though some of his sexual exploits strain credulity. Still, we'll update you if anything turns up.

As of this post, the AMA has been up for five hours and has a shade over 8300 responses. So it's become a bit unwieldy to navigate. Here is a selection of some of the best questions and answers, though if you have the time, you'd really be well served to go through it yourself.

On first impressions:

beedee4: How do women react when they find out?

DoubleDickDude: varies from girl to girl. Some have been like WOW. some have been like THATS FAKE! some have freaked out like, called me names. Most are pretty curious, but i dont have casual sex anymore, i stopped a few years back. Didnt like the empty feeling inside after a 1 night stand. did a lot of those in my late teens. A LOT of them. but for the most part, girls were nervous and some changed their mind at the last minute. dudes NEVER change their mind, they always want it even if they're freaked out a little. lol

On comfort:

FlipWhispers: I honestly expected to see one teensy extra wiener when I clicked on the link yesterday but was surprised to see they were similar in size. Are you happy they are that way or would a lil one have been easier to deal with?

DoubleDickDude: I like them the way they are. They're more proportionate to each other than they look in photos. im limited to holding the camera myself. If one had been smaller, it'd be more difficult to deal with. So yeah I like that they're the way they are.

On sartorial concerns:

thiney49: Do they both hang to one side of your pants, or do they split the seam?

DDD: when i go commando, which is almost always except in winter, they take their own sides. the seam can be a pain sometimes because the skin between them is a little delicate and sensitive.

On multitasking:

32BitWhore: Have you ever been given a double fisted reach around?

Sorry for the vulgarity, but the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the pictures the other day was "Next level reach around if you're into dudes."

DDD: LOL actually yeah, i've had a guy pounding into me reach around with both hands and 'go skiing' ;)

On nature and nurture:

MagnumPunk: How did your parents handle your situation? Did they tell you right away that your condition wasn't the norm?

Also, do you think your polyamorous relationship would have happened if you didn't have two dicks?

DDD: They said I had two for a reason. I knew from an early age I was special. I don't think being bisexual had anything to do with my cocks.

On introductions:

thederpmeister: How do you break the news to girls you're hooking up with? Is it a "prepare yourself, mortal" or more of a "ooooooHELLOWTF" type of deal?

DDD: I did both for a while, but I dont date anymore, i'm in a relationship with a guy and a girl, and have been for a while. back in my teens i tried both ways and it was never predictable. the easy girls sometimes screamed and ran (literally once) as much as the virgins did. never could figure that out. But guys, guys NEVER run and ALWAYS follow through. Mostly straight guys, and they always at the very least touch and play with them a little. Some have even sucked me off so THAT was always the wild thing, the straight guys giving me head.

On measurables:

Hero_of_the_internet: How big are they when fully erect? Surely you've measured them.

DDD: bigger one is 7 give or take on how horny i am, smaller one is 6 give or take.

On naming rights:

viper1aa: Have you named them?

DDD: lol no comment

On interval training:

Jukior: Do you normally masturbate with 1 or both of them and if the answer is both, can you answer my next question?

I after I finish jizzing I am usually snapped right out of the mood, so if you finish with one dick do you feel you have to finish with the other or do you do you feel you are done.

DDD: I have multiple orgasms, like I can shoot a load out of my right cock and cum oozes out of my left one. I milk it out and then can keep going with either and make another load within a few minutes. I think it may have a lot to do with the internal plumbing but I've shot about 10 loads in a 4 hour period before.

On DIY ingenuity:

ping_pong_platypus: Have you ever considered getting one surgically removed or attached to the first penis to making a doubley long dick?

DDD: Nope. And it wouldn't work.

On Divine Right:

SmashMetal: Sorry if I'm late to the party with this one, but this has absolutely baffled me since the first post about it whenever it was, so thanks for doing this

My question: Was there a reason your parents didn't consider having the 'second' one removed when you were a kid?

DDD: Yeah. Because I was born with it for a reason. My mom admitted recently she had no idea what that reason was, but it's there so it stays there. Glad she did, after everything because I really am one in millions. besides the ego boost it really makes a person feel special knowing there is likely no one else like you alive right now. And if they are, they are probably all fucked up with other problems.

On real estate:

Waffles_bro: seems like a stupid question but when you have sex, can you do all the position, because i guess you must use only one of your penis and the other one must be kind of in the way if its also hard.

DDD: my bf and gf can take both in them, so it's pretty standard. but in the past with partners who had smaller or tighter holes, i had to start off using one but by the time i was done i had used both. ;)

On making friends:

NickKevs: If you don't mind me asking, what was your singular best sexual experience so far?

DDD: two dudes in my ass at the same time, with each dick in a different girl who were riding me, pussy to pussy, while a guy and girl stood over me and let me eat/lick/suck on them while they fucked.

realdev: The Aristocrats!

AWildSketchAppeared: Here's A Guy With Two Fully Functional Penises (NSFW)S

DuckVimes: Is this what it actually looked like, with the bunk beds and whatnot?

DDD: No, there was only one bed. I was riding the 2 cocks, the dudes under me were balls to balls. The girls were riding me facing each other, pussy to pussy and i was leaning back on my arms while the couple over me fucked and let me lick on her pussy, and suck on his dick while he fucked her.

[Reddit via Chris Person]