The Champaign-based News-Gazette is surveying Illinois football players before the season to learn fun facts about them. On Sunday, Illini defensive back Eric Finney filled out an entry. He did a really good job.

The survey started by asking Finney what bowl he would go to this season. He dished out a few good alley recommendations:

I like to go the one in the Illini Union, if not Old Orchard Lanes in Savoy. Lastly, Arrowhead Lanes for the cosmic features.

It got better from there:

Who on the team does the best Tim Beckman impersonation?

Tim Beckman

Which one of your teammates is the most presidential?

Perry Graves, 1914 All-American.

Your girlfriend is cool with this; who is your dream date?

Now, why would you even ask this? Now I’m in the doghouse. She’s asking me questions like, ‘Who’s this other girl?’ Look what you’ve done. Thanks a lot.

The rest of Finney’s answers are just as fun. You probably won’t guess his Heisman pick.

Photo: Getty Images Sport

H/t to Todd


Contact the author at samer@deadspin.com.