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We’re only in the first week of preseason and already there have been roughly seven billion injuries across NFL training camps. The poor Dolphins had to coax fat Jay Cutler out of retirement. Are we in for yet another year of decimated rosters and subpar primetime matchups? That’s the subject of this week’s Deadcast.

But there’s more! Marchman is BACK with his awful takes and we talk about optimal fry servings, underrated fruits, sandwiches, and we answer YOUR Funbag questions about toilet paper, throwing baseballs, fan suffering, and other useless minutiae.

You can also listen at iHeart Radio, Stitcher, Spotify, NPR One, Apple Podcasts, or GooglePlay. And don’t forget to email us tips and/or general complaints at deadcast@deadspin.com. Have fun out there.