They don't make 'em like Adebayo Akinfenwa too often. The man-mountain stands at five-foot-eleven, has to be pushing 200 pounds, and can reportedly bench press damn near 400 pounds. That's how you get a world's-best 97 strength rating in the FIFA games.

But even more important than all of that, the man nicknamed "Beast Mode" scores goals. Just now, in today's FA Cup match against Liverpool, Akinfenwa gave his English fourth-tier club AFC Wimbledon the equalizer by muscling in a prototypically great big guy goal.

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The January transfer window is open. The first Premier League club that lures the Beast to their bench gets our undying support.

[FOX Sports 1]